To think DH may have done this with a bit too much aggression?

[CatandaTiddle]

We were playing a competitive game. I ended up in A and E and can’t walk. No a proper break but it’s really sore, it’s an ‘avulsion fracture’. It was definitely excessive force on his part.

I laughed it off, but another member of the team was quite shocked (although sort of joking). And described DH’s action as vile!
DH is often passive aggressive towards me.
He has made up somewhat with tea, dinner made etc - but this morning it’s back to being pretty rude, mumbling, complaining while I’m hobbling about. He has got to work plus sort out the kids, so I can see it’s frustrating.

‘May have done’? Your DH broke one of your bones???

What were you playing and how did he hurt you??

I think more information is needed, but if team mates were shocked, they're probably right.

This is why men and women don't (shouldn't) play against each other. If you're doing so for "fun" of course the men need to tone down the physical force/strength used.

Wtf...your husband has fractured one of your bones?

YBU for dismissing his behaviour and making excuses for him. Accidents happen during games but adults can (and must) control the force they use. The fact your post mentions this together with the passive aggressive behaviour, rudeness and lack of help with this accident is quite revealing. He is a bully.

Do some self reflection and then seek support.

Going to need some context....did he smash your arm during a scrabble game, or tackle you badly during football? And fucking boohoo that he has to sort the kids out - wouldn't be the case if he'd calm the hell down and not broken your bone!!

What competitive game?And how on earth has he injured you do badly? The fact that a witness called him vile should be a wake up call to you. It sounds like youve got problems with him that need adressing asap, it all sounds very worrying to me.

Why on earth did you laugh off a fracture caused by your DH? And why are you feeling bad that the injury HE caused has meant he has to do more on the domestic front?? This has to be part of a long list of horrible behaviour from him which you have been ground down by.

What do you think, OP?

Your post is one enormous red flag after another.

You need help and you need to get away from this man.

Twister?

I'm not voting because being seriously injured by your husband is just beyond that.

What actually happened, OP? What game were you playing?

From what little you have said, it sounds like this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of abusive behaviour. And he's definitely ramping it up if he's actually physically injuring you in front of witnesses, albeit trying to make it look somehow ok because it was some kind of game.

I'm all for competition and having a game, i regularly play AFL with my sons (18 to 11 yrs) even they know to check themselves when they are paired up against me. Against each other is a free for all, I'm treated like I'm made of glass tough glass mind you, but they still protect me. Your DH is a dickhead using the game as an excuse.

So, your abusive husband (he’s definitely not a DH), breaks one of your bones and damages your ligaments (or his actions caused you to respond in such a way that the avulsion fracture occurred) and then ‘makes it up’ to you be cooking dinner? And a day later he’s back to bring a twat, despite the fact your fracture and ligament damage are probably going to take a few weeks to heal and will probably need physio?

Looking from the outside, in, this is typical abuser behaviour. I suspect you have grown used to it as you seem to be more accepting of the situation than I would expect anyone in a healthy relationship to be.

Stop downplaying this, despite a witness being shocked and calling his behaviour vile. Listen to that person and please take steps to protect yourself (and any children).

What were you playing? I did martial arts for years, and sparred against the men (including my DH) in preparation for gradings. The men would make me fight hard but never used full force and were always mindful that they were much stronger. What on earth were you playing that resulted in him breaking a bone?

Good grief, I wasn’t expecting responses like this!
It was football. There were also children playing, and no he wouldn’t have tackled a child like this. Although I was desperate to get the ball so I did also kick hard against his hard kick - but was aiming for the ball. I can’t quite remember what happened but our feet collided.

It wasn’t a bone break, an avulsion fracture I think is a ligament pulling away from the bone - and doctor. She said rest for two days and then gradually start to use again. No cast, although I’ve got it strapped.

If it was an accident and he feels terrible about it that’s one thing - but it doesn’t sound like it was or that he does - at best it may be seen as extremely reckless. At worst, he’s an abuser and he will continue to get worse. Using a “game” as a cover for using excessive physical force and fracturing your bones is very concerning. Don’t laugh it off.

I have an avulsion fracture. Must have been some force he used. What an arse.

No he didn’t feel any remorse!! Don’t think he said sorry at all - that’s a good point. His response was - I think you should keep it moving while I was sitting out on the floor!!

We are reading your words. If you were to read these words from another MN what conclusions would you be drawing?

You describe your husband's actions as overly aggressive.
You say a witness called your husband's actions "vile"
You say he is passive aggressive towards you.
You tell us he is unsympathetic to your broken bone (caused by his actions)whining and moaning about doing his part in family life.
Your actual title of the thread mentions
" DH, too much aggression"

With all due respect OP what answers were you expecting?

An avulsion fracture is when a ligament or tendon pulls away from a bone and takes part of the bone with it. It is called a fracture cos that's what it is. I've had physio for mine. I am 9 months post accident and it still hasn't properly healed.

To think DH may have done this with a bit too much aggression?

Well, we don't really know without more detail.... Did he push you over deliberately? Did he run into you without seeing you? Did he aim a ball / racket at you and hit you on purpose??

I play a fast paced and competitive sport with DH and he has run into me (unintentionally) a couple of times and almost taken me out! That being said, he is massively apologetic asking if I'm ok a million times afterwards and he would never, ever hurt me deliberately! Also I accept that playing a sport where men and women are playing together is not always a great idea as the men I play with are all bigger built and stronger than the women so if an accident does happen, the results are usually a bit worse than another woman running in to you!

Bloody hell OP you're really minimising this. Your husband tackled you so hard that you broke a bone. Yes sometimes stuff like this happens, however the fact that he's a man and you're a woman (unless you're a professional footballer) means he should have taken it a bit easy. And the fact you're posting about it, and another member of the team was shocked, probably mean that although he might not have set out to break a bone, actually he wasn't being careful at all not to hurt you.

Also his reaction is way off, for most people if they hurt someone accidentally they are absolutely mortified and would be running around trying to do everything they can to make their life easier. Your husband cooked dinner? And is now being rude because he has to look after his own kids (how awful for him!) due to an injury that he caused?

You are really downplaying how fucking terrible this is. You shouldn't have laughed it off you should be telling him to stay the fuck away from you for the rest of your lives