To think DH may have done this with a bit too much aggression?

[CatandaTiddle]

We were playing a competitive game. I ended up in A and E and can’t walk. No a proper break but it’s really sore, it’s an ‘avulsion fracture’. It was definitely excessive force on his part.

I laughed it off, but another member of the team was quite shocked (although sort of joking). And described DH’s action as vile!
DH is often passive aggressive towards me.
He has made up somewhat with tea, dinner made etc - but this morning it’s back to being pretty rude, mumbling, complaining while I’m hobbling about. He has got to work plus sort out the kids, so I can see it’s frustrating.

Perfect illustration why the terfs are right and men should never play with or against women in sport.

I know you don't want to hear it OP but I'm another one coming down heavily in the abuse category.

You were having a kickaround with children. It's not Champions League football, super fast and aggressive. Kids kick weakly, it's a slow game. A kickaround. So to tackle you at such speed and force that he shears off a slice of your bone, he was clearly and knowingly using MUCH more force than was necessary.

Plus, you said he wouldn't tackle the kids like that - so he obviously knew what he was doing when it came to you.

Not an accident. Targeted, purposeful aggression. You're in trouble and you NEED to take it seriously.

How is this about how man and women shouldn't play together and turned into some tefr/trans thing? Injuries happen in games where women play against women and men play against men. And the main issue is not that op got injured at a competitive game. It is her husbands lack of care. If she had been injured by a stranger her husband should manage to muster some sympathy. Since he's the one injuring her, he should be apologetic and not a whiny grumpy passive aggressive asshole.

Didn't say sorry?

No remorse?

He carried on playing(??)

I mean you say competitive but was it more of a kickabout?

At the least my husband would have taken me straight home.

And what's the passive aggression?

He sounds nasty!

Agreed

this is a bonkers take.

i've played/coached football for 40+ years.

i've ALWAYS known who i was playing against.

at no point during the many, many times i've played against children/girls/women/grandparents have i ever not been aware of that fact, or briefly forgotten and tackled someone with the same force/aggression that i would against people of my own age/size/ability.

anyone who is capable of losing control in that situation is capable of losing control in any situation.

my guess is that OP's DH felt he wanted to assert his dominance a bit (ridiculous, and probably indicative of some other resentment), and is now likely embarrassed, and is doubling down instead of admitting to himself that he misjudged the situation so badly.

none of which makes him any less of a knob.

and makes me suspect he's probably quite often a bit of a knob about quite a lot of things.

There were also children playing, and no he wouldn’t have tackled a child like this.

‘He wouldn’t have tackled a child like this’

It is one person’s fault. He wouldn’t have used the same force on a child so as not to hurt them because hurting a child is wrong.
He hurt his wife, he put her in hospital and he’s not even sorry.

And very painful

His reaction to this is deeply concerning, as is yours. Even if he wasn't involved in causing the injury, he should be getting on with pulling his weight in family life without having the hump about it. If it was a genuine accident by a loving husband he'd be mortified and desperate to redeem himself. He has no respect for you.

It was not a competitive game, it was a mixed, friendly kick-about and should have been played with care. The friend's reaction was telling that it wasn't an unlucky accident.

OP you seem very well trained at passively accepting his shitty attitude towards you. At best, you are an object of convenience to him. At worst he is abusive and upping his game and seeing what he can get away with.

This is why some men shouldn't be abusive bully's to their wives.

What an utter twat. LTB territory.

Thank you everyone, I am trying to process it all. It was actually pretty horrible yesterday. I was constantly having to remind on times for school runs/bedtime etc (DH has really poor time keeping and refuses to address this). He put a 6 year old to bed at 9.30pm on Monday, and then other DC had two jobs to do yesterday which were being refused. DH just wasn’t bothered so I had to deal with ensuring the jobs were done and the resentment from him. I later pointed out that I felt his tackle was too aggressive and of course this didn’t go down well. I also said his response that I should ‘just walk on it’ with no real sympathy/remorse was upsetting.
This thread has made me realise that he never says sorry or has shown remorse for anything. That’s why this will never change because he never thinks he is wrong so he will never try and change. He also doesn’t readily the words ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ - which I’ve always found odd, that I’ve had to prompt in restaurants etc.

I don’t want him around today. He usually spends all his time at work but it’s easier if he is there.
I don’t know how I’ll manage, but I’ll recover better without him around.

Could you go and stay somewhere else while you recover? Do you have parents that would let you stay and help you? He would then have a taste of juggling work and childcare, and you wouldn't be around to worry about how badly he is doing it.

He sounds totally lacking in empathy as well as manners. What sort of adult doesn't say please and thank you?

Longer term, I would make plans to separate. He sounds like a dreadful husband and father.

Following your update, I’d be re-evaluating my relationship.

He didn't lose control.

This is him controlling.