To tell the school my child will NOT go to detention..

629 replies

Nataliaa · 30/06/2025 17:22

DD year 7 has been given a 30 minute detention tomorrow afternoon, after school. Since starting secondary, she has received 2 detentions- 1 for forgetting her PE shorts and 1 for not completing homework.
I fully supported the school and the consequences DD had to face on these 2 occasions. She did learn from each time and since then, she has always been organised with PE kit and completing homework.
DD is well behaved, works hard and all school reports have been brilliant so we have no concerns.

Back to today… it is 31 degrees and the school allowed blazers to be left at home, but still expected the children to be in their shirt, ties and trousers (the school recently banned skirts, and does not allow shorts so all children are in trousers. All year round)

During lunch break, DD loosened her tie and untucked her shirt as she was so hot and sweaty… and then forgot to tuck in her shirt and redo tie before going back in.
She walked into English and straight away the teacher told her to tuck the shirt in and do tie, which she did.
Then whilst sat down she untucked the shirt again… she then got up for something and the teacher noticed the shirt untucked and as she had already been told once, she was given the detention.
DD tried to explain she was just so hot and sweaty, she felt she couldn’t concentrate and loosening the shirt helped.. she was then told off for answering back.

I do not agree with this detention at all. Other local schools have let kids go in wearing PE kits in this heat. The teacher was not wearing shirt and tie- she was wearing a floaty and cool summer dress.
I can’t think for the life of me how an untucked shirt would affect DD’s education, and why it’s more important to stick to a strict dress code rather than doing whatever is comfortable in this heat!!

I have never been in the position to disagree with the school, and not sure what would happen if I refuse to let DD go to this detention… also not sure if that’s setting the wrong message to DD, as I always encourage following school rules!!

Any advice? Is this a hill worth dying on? What would you do?

OP posts:

Seriouslywhatnow · 02/07/2025 15:22

LimitedBrightSpots · 02/07/2025 12:29

I think it's fine to say that adults are adults, they get to decide what they do, wear and eat in a way that children don't. Teachers are not the same as students, they are adults in their working environment and so not bound by the same rules as students. For example, the staff at my children's schools can clearly eat what they want on their lunch breaks rather than having the same healthy lunch as the children.

The other side of that is that the school and teachers should be doing everything they can to ensure the children's comfort and wellbeing. If you had a 3yo who was grumpy and overheating in a nursery environment, they'd have layers taken off, they'd be given water and they'd be kept as cool as possible. The same would be done for a primary age child clearly struggling in the heat. And most adults at work could speak up, excuse themselves, take off layers if uncomfortable.

But we seem to have this huge collective blindness when it comes to secondary age children. Their health, comfort and wellbeing appear to be low priorities for schools, but neither are they given the freedom to take sensible steps to protect themselves.

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Totally agree with this. I think basically there is a large swathe of the population that seems to think teenager = criminal so best treat them as such. Look at all the nonsense about how if they don't tuck in their shirts they'll be running around assaulting each other.

cottoncandy260 · 05/07/2025 19:39

Nataliaa · 30/06/2025 17:34

It really is isn’t it?! I’ve always been baffled by ties being compulsory in so many schools. Why do they need to be dressed like they’re off to the office at 11 years old? Their uniform is certainly not designed with comfort in mind. DD’s primary uniform was just polo shirt and school sweater/ cardigan. Any grey skirt or trousers. Red summer dress from spring term onwards. No idea why that kind of uniform can’t be implemented in secondary!

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The irony is, very few office workers have to wear ties nowadays anyway. And it’s only men that have to, not women. The majority of city offices have air conditioning. The majority of schools don’t. And office workers can often have the choice to work from home under certain circumstances.

All in all, school uniform is an absolute joke. It has no relevance at all to today’s society. And as a teacher I completely and utterly refuse to pick a battle with any student over uniform especially when it’s 32 degrees.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 05/07/2025 20:51

I don't think she was answering back. She was advocating for herself and explaining why her shirt was untucked. I would definitely not agree to her detention and tell her to come home after school.

broney · 05/07/2025 22:05

Do the detention, and complain about the uniform policy not having a contingency for hot weather. Although I've never heard of a school BANNING skirts for girls, that is ridiculous. Around here there was a protest by boys at school, as girls were allowed trousers or skirts, but boys had to wear trousers and were NOT allowed choose shorts in a heatwave. So a lot of boys went to school in borrowed skirts. the school did agree to "review" their uniform policy.

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