To tell the school my child will NOT go to detention..

[Nataliaa]

DD year 7 has been given a 30 minute detention tomorrow afternoon, after school. Since starting secondary, she has received 2 detentions- 1 for forgetting her PE shorts and 1 for not completing homework.
I fully supported the school and the consequences DD had to face on these 2 occasions. She did learn from each time and since then, she has always been organised with PE kit and completing homework.
DD is well behaved, works hard and all school reports have been brilliant so we have no concerns.

Back to today… it is 31 degrees and the school allowed blazers to be left at home, but still expected the children to be in their shirt, ties and trousers (the school recently banned skirts, and does not allow shorts so all children are in trousers. All year round)

During lunch break, DD loosened her tie and untucked her shirt as she was so hot and sweaty… and then forgot to tuck in her shirt and redo tie before going back in.
She walked into English and straight away the teacher told her to tuck the shirt in and do tie, which she did.
Then whilst sat down she untucked the shirt again… she then got up for something and the teacher noticed the shirt untucked and as she had already been told once, she was given the detention.
DD tried to explain she was just so hot and sweaty, she felt she couldn’t concentrate and loosening the shirt helped.. she was then told off for answering back.

I do not agree with this detention at all. Other local schools have let kids go in wearing PE kits in this heat. The teacher was not wearing shirt and tie- she was wearing a floaty and cool summer dress.
I can’t think for the life of me how an untucked shirt would affect DD’s education, and why it’s more important to stick to a strict dress code rather than doing whatever is comfortable in this heat!!

I have never been in the position to disagree with the school, and not sure what would happen if I refuse to let DD go to this detention… also not sure if that’s setting the wrong message to DD, as I always encourage following school rules!!

Any advice? Is this a hill worth dying on? What would you do?

It is disturbing, but for the other way to work pupils and parents have to respect the teachers, the school and the school's rules.

And yes the teachers must respect the parents and pupils.

Unfortunately, more often than not, the SLT doesn't trust anyone and is too busy either blowing smoke up parents and pupil's arses pretending to be their mates and blaming the teachers for all the wrongs of the world and not backing them up.

Or they are putting in stupid fucking rules that break teachers, pupils and parents.

This of course backed by a government, SM and MSM that hates teachers and looks for anything that will prevent teachers and parents from joining together to sort out this shit.

Kids can cope with hot weather and school uniform. It builds character.

In England where wearing normal clothes to school hasn’t been their norm from day 1 , I completely agree , of course some kids will irritatingly push clothing boundaries when they’re belatedly ‘let off the leash ‘ & the whole thing’s a novelty to them
I honestly think this reinforces the point that European countries get this stuff right whilst we are culturally utterly daft around the whole issue .

oh i thought the lockdowns were supposed to do that.........oh no that was resiliance wasnt it 🙄

Wonder what will complete the hat trick.

I think that you are probably right.
But (there is always one) in the schools that I have been in and those of (teaching) friends, the majority of parents when offered the choice go for uniforms.

So as much as many parents blame to schools for this parents have to shoulder some of the blame.

Completely agree

Quite. Keep putting boundaries in the way and kids will push them.

Tell them none of it matters, as Europe does, and the thrill of challenging that fizzles out pretty quickly.

Clearly having to follow clothing rules doesn’t teach kids how and when to dress appropriately.

😂😂😂

Are you on a break?

I would hope you are allowed to use your own decision making powers where necessary.

It has been an eye opener on this thread to see how many teachers would ‘follow rules ‘ to the letter rather than employ common sense and compassion when faced with an overheated child .
Also that recognition of a potential major health issue such as heat exhaustion/ stroke isn’t apparently taught to those entrusted with the care of our children . Really shocking.

Boys should be allowed to wear skirts to then.

And in our office half the men were in shorts and the women in floaty dresses. Ties are a rare sight! So that reason about workplace attire (even ignoring the fact lots of people don't work in an office) really doesn't wash.

I don’t understand? This was on my way to work.

In DD’s first secondary school the uniform list didn’t differentiate between girls and boys uniform. The boys still all wore trousers and a tie. There was certainly a lot of grumbling that shorts weren’t allowed.

No wonder we are raising a generation of snowflakes who aren’t fit for the working environment. OP should have told her DD to suck it up and take the detention for her bad behaviour. If she has an issue with the uniform policy of the school that is a separate issue which she should address with the school or find a new school.

But the Op's DD is at a school which has a uniform, you are in an office which doesn't, so I don't understand the relevance.

again, no one says the daughter or even the OP has an issue with the uniform policy of the school in general.

This was a specific incident, that the daughter was exceedingly uncomfortable in a classroom with a temperature of about 34 degrees where she was overheating. She was untucking her shirt to help cool herself down (as everyone does in these circumstances) but the teacher insisted that she overheat. The girl, understandably may have got a tiny bit ratty due to the heat and may have said how unfair this was. The teacher gave her a detention. How is the girl unfit for work when everyone on this thread has said that their office have had a very relaxed dress code with floaty dresses, shorts and strappy shoes to keep them cool.if anything the pupils are not being prepared for the world of work as no work behaves like that

It’s being melodramatic to say she was overheating. She ignored the teachers instructions so she should take the detention. The OP is undermining the teachers authority rather than supporting the school and showing her daughter that sometimes in life you have to do things you don’t want to. Hardly teaching resilience, is it?

Again - 34 degrees! I have had heatstroke at less than 30. I overheat exceedingly quickly. Just because you might love this weather doesn’t mean that some of us get very ill very quickly in this heat

"a generation of snowflakes"??? PLEASE tell me more about your generation. Id wager it had it a lot easier than the current youngsters. Did you have lockdown? Authoritarian schools? Pretty much no hope of owning a home? How about knowing if you have want to get a degree - which most jobs seem to have as a prerequisite even where one isnt needed - you'll saddle yourself with tens of thousands of pounds of debt? No? Then pipe down with your snowflake comments please because you're clearly somewhat out of touch.

🤣🤣🤣 You are just proving my point. Just ask employers who have to deal with the sense of entitlement and lack of resilience of young employees whether I am out of touch.

Offices do have dress codes. Certainly mine does. Just in this weather they basically said come dressed for comfort as it is hotter than the centre of the universe. My children’s school also have a uniform but this week they said PE kit as they put the health and wellbeing of the children first over the rules. Anarchy has not yet descended but there is still time.

Let me guess. You're a Reform voter. Right?

Our school said part of the reason for having a uniform was that it prepared us for working life. Although our uniform was a lot more practical! The quoted post was about kids dressed in ties like office workers, but ties have disappeared from a lot of offices. I just find rigidity around uniform such a waste of energy.

Wrong