To tell the school my child will NOT go to detention..

[Nataliaa]

DD year 7 has been given a 30 minute detention tomorrow afternoon, after school. Since starting secondary, she has received 2 detentions- 1 for forgetting her PE shorts and 1 for not completing homework.
I fully supported the school and the consequences DD had to face on these 2 occasions. She did learn from each time and since then, she has always been organised with PE kit and completing homework.
DD is well behaved, works hard and all school reports have been brilliant so we have no concerns.

Back to today… it is 31 degrees and the school allowed blazers to be left at home, but still expected the children to be in their shirt, ties and trousers (the school recently banned skirts, and does not allow shorts so all children are in trousers. All year round)

During lunch break, DD loosened her tie and untucked her shirt as she was so hot and sweaty… and then forgot to tuck in her shirt and redo tie before going back in.
She walked into English and straight away the teacher told her to tuck the shirt in and do tie, which she did.
Then whilst sat down she untucked the shirt again… she then got up for something and the teacher noticed the shirt untucked and as she had already been told once, she was given the detention.
DD tried to explain she was just so hot and sweaty, she felt she couldn’t concentrate and loosening the shirt helped.. she was then told off for answering back.

I do not agree with this detention at all. Other local schools have let kids go in wearing PE kits in this heat. The teacher was not wearing shirt and tie- she was wearing a floaty and cool summer dress.
I can’t think for the life of me how an untucked shirt would affect DD’s education, and why it’s more important to stick to a strict dress code rather than doing whatever is comfortable in this heat!!

I have never been in the position to disagree with the school, and not sure what would happen if I refuse to let DD go to this detention… also not sure if that’s setting the wrong message to DD, as I always encourage following school rules!!

Any advice? Is this a hill worth dying on? What would you do?

Sounds like she answered back, so she needs to suck up the detention and learn from it.

That’s ridiculous. DS is in primary school but today they were all told to come in in PE kits (shorts and t shirt)

It's actually willful disobedience. She was asked to tuck it in and she did. That was her chance. Everything after that was giving the teacher the bird. Ultimately, if you don't like the rules or the uniform policy then change schools. Your child isn't any more special than every other kid in her school. The rules apply to her.

I would separate the two issues - so encourage your DD to go to the detention and take it on the chin, but also let her know you will be complaining about the uniform policy. To be fair to the teacher, she has to enforce this ridiculous policy and may not agree with it herself.

I would be tempted to keep her off school tomorrow on H&S grounds - tell the school she's suffering from heatstroke. Then she can do the detention in cooler conditions on Wednesday.

What I want to know is was the teacher wearing a full suit? Absolutely a hill to die on. DS is only 7 but I am already preparing myself to die on the same hill when he hits high school if things haven't improved by then

ETA just seen teacher was in a summer dress. Yes would absolutely die on that hill!

No way my kid would be doing a detention for that. And yes, I would happily be ‘that’ parent over this utter nonsense - and probably health and safety issue, frankly. I don’t get schools enforcing utterly crazy, and potentially unsafe, rules. How is this helping anyone’s education? Stand your ground op. Support your DD.

@GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo yes that too. And I very much knew you were Scottish because of the username! “How?”

I think it’s more to do with her attitude and repeating the untucking.

She was cheeky and disobedient.

🤣🤣🤣 just gonnae no

Personally I don’t like uniforms and don’t see the need! But it does sound like the detention is for answering back
Also remember you only have her word for what actually happened. Not calling her a liar but kids can be known for telling a tale to show themselves in the best light

@AngelinaFibres ah well believe what you want, my kids are getting on very well in that system.

My dts school are really ott with their behaviour policy and even they cut some slack today.
Everyone went in with their PE kit on.
Yanbu op.

@OneGiddyRubyViewer it was all shell suits in my day!

DD’s school have been told they can untuck shirts & undo their top buttons but still need their ties & must carry their blazers.
All the male teachers have taken off their ties!
Uniform policies are bonkers. I work in her school & I struggle with having to enforce it.

I don't think this warrants detention. When I was at secondary school they were so precious about uniform, we had a heatwave with similar temps as today but blazers had to remain on, got a detention for having my blazer sleeves rolled up

I’ve seen teachers lose their actual shit with a child, and if anyone says anything which they often don’t then it is allowed to be passed off as having a bad day etc but god forbid an 11 year old untucks a shirt and complains about being hot and bothered.

To be fair they should try treating the kids like students and not prisoners. Same in our school.

No, she just didn’t want to listen to the teacher. Presumably every other pupil had their shirt tucked in and survived.

Your daughter needs to listen to teachers.

I remember working at secondary in a heatwave and the students were allowed to wear their own clothes as uniform was too hot

What the teacher was wearing is irrelevant.

i don’t see how anyone else is relevant- we all manage our body temperatures differently. I am very pale with red hair. I get much hotter, much quicker than my more olive skinned relatives. I also have to wear an underwired bra and in hot weather the metal expands and digs in. It is immensely uncomfortable.

I’d die on that hill.

I think there is a fairly high chance this interaction with the teacher might come across very differently when told by someone other than your daughter...

She should do the detention and, like the previous ones, learn from it. Don't untuck your shirt again after the teacher picks you up on it (or at the very least tuck it in before you start walking around the classroom), no backchat.

These incidents always sound picky in isolation but they are part of the overall behaviour strategy of the school. I think it's necessary. If this is such a big deal to you, presumably you are free to send her to one of the PE kit on a hot day schools that you mention?

Also, I don't think that you get to "tell" school which parts of their policy she will be adhering to.