AIBU to expect more from my DDs private prep school ?

[wishingonme]

DD5 is just finishing reception and I’m not happy about her school.

The teachers don’t provide enough updates on the children and when they do, it’s very generic. There doesn’t seem to be any particular focus on the individual child’s strengths and weaknesses or key areas of interest / talent.

We aren’t told there are problems or anything, but then get reports and DD is in some ‘ emerging ‘ categories. We would like to be told if she’s behind in areas, so we can help at home- before the report comes out.

parents evening is so generic. The work they do at the school is not as advanced as some other schools we know ( some state and others private ). For example, some reception children are doing more advanced maths in state schools, whereas our school has focused on reading in reception and less on maths.

Our DD is extremely advanced in many areas, yet she’s being kept in reception - whereas we know a boy at a state school who’s advanced in maths and two years above himself for maths. I don’t think our school would do that.

am I expecting too much ? I expect the children to be pushed and not behind other schools and I expect more individual attention- otherwise what am I paying for ?

If shes happy and keeps up with her peers ,then I think you are worrying it is in vain .At 5 they are still very small and a lot of Reception is just learning through play. Most MC parents are engaged with WE filled with crafts ,sports and just reading to DC .

You want her moved up a year so that she is with children a year older? Have a think about the implications of being the youngest by far in a peer group as a teenager.

But if every child who is exceeding is moved up a year, it will cause chaos! My DS is coming to the end of Year 1 and is exceeding across the board and amazes me a lot of the time. But I would never dream of wanting him to be moved up because it’s more important to me that he has good friends, plenty of time to play and plenty of downtime and that he enjoys school. There are years of hard work ahead of him. They’re still so little at this age.

I’m glad you’re not teaching my children

God, you're patronising. Why does that poster need to 'calm down'? She was just asking you a question.

What do you want posters to say? That your daughter is obviously a genius and should have been moved to senior school by now?

All of this

a lot of posters have focused on the fact that I mentioned she was emerging in some categories ( actually only in one and only once ). Saying ‘ well school thinks she’s emerging ‘- as if it’s across the board, which is absolute BS.

Wel they are saying that because your original post said emerging in some categories. So people can only comment on the info provided by you?

She was emerging once on one report and this is your response?

She can't go up to y1, that isn't how school works.

Your OP says “DD is in some ‘ emerging ‘ categories”

Not in one and only once.

Just because you aren’t getting the responses you want, doesn’t mean that you can change your original story without consequence.

Christ alive.... does it matter? Is she happy and thriving? Does she like going to school? That is all you should be worried about at this stage. You sound hellish.

What can your child read?

What maths can she do?

I think OP, that is because your original query was why the school hadn't communicated that she was emerging before the report.. so it did seem like this was quite central to your issue.
Teacher and mum here also. She'll be fine, try to relax a bit. Keep up the reading for pleasure, have great conversations and nurture curiosity. Jumping up a class or two isn't ideal at all and is not something I've ever heard of (Ireland), unless the child is of age for the older group.

The other categories were in nursery last year. But didn’t carry through to reception. Seriously calm down and stop trying to prove I’m full of it.

Our DD is extremely advanced in many areas, yet she’s being kept in reception - whereas we know a boy at a state school who’s advanced in maths and two years above himself for maths. I don’t think our school would do that.

State schools don't do that at primary level. More able children generally follow the same curriculum as everyone else but in greater depth. If your child is behind in some areas but ahead in others, it sounds as if it would be disastrous to move her up a class.

Pls do not keep her in reception unless she has major SEN compared with all 5 year olds and just taking a little longer to develop than prep school kids. State schools are great and your kid will got what they need and thry might mean you get better support if she does gave SEN If you want you can get a tutor later on.

Maybe, as you've now explained she's not emerging in any area, but is exceeding, what is the 'more' you're hoping for from the school?

You are probably paying for facilities, surroundings, ease of access to out of hours care and extra curricular activities ( music, drama sport etc ) but basic teaching is very similar to state schools but as you are outlining possibly a different focus on priorities

if your 5 yr old is happy ( and from your comments progressing ) I wouldn’t up root her yet, reappraise the situation going into year 3 if you are still unhappy

Look at activities you do as a family outside of school as these are what broadens a child’s life experiences and knowledge base

I think you are the one who needs to calm down 🙄

Is the intention she sits the 11+ then a Grammar school, or will she stay in an independent school?

She's not being held down a year...

She's 5.
5.

If she struggled to make relationships initially, it would be really unfair to move her away from her current friends.

What's your issue then if she's actually meeting and exceeding?

What makes you think there's something wrong? What makes you think she just just jump up year groups away from peers?

I hope none of your angst about the school or her progress is being communicated to your dd. I feel for her.