Just Snapped

[WeddingWTF]

Not sure how to word this and have obviously name changed for this.

A few months ago my husbands brother was getting married. Me and dh have been having issues for a while now mainly about his family. Anyway the day of the wedding came and dh was away helping his brother. I honestly don't know what came over me but something in me just snapped and I thought I am not going to this wedding.

I spoke to my dh and told him that I wasn't coming and even though there was tension it was fine.

Roll on to later in the evening and I had drunk a bottle of wine. Dh was ignoring my texts and blanking me. I am so ashamed to say that a red mist came over me and over 20 years of shit that I had put up with from all of them came out.

I texted each and every member of his family and told them what I thought of them and texted the bride telling her that basically she had always treated me horrible and her now dh had been shagging everything with a pulse behind her back and constantly tried it on with me on nights out. I also said that her now dh has wanted to fuck her best friend for years and always go's on about how he got with the wrong friend. Absolutely nothing I said was untrue but obviously the fall out has been nuclear and dh has now left me, his family aren't talking to me and have blocked me on everything.

On one hand I feel so ashamed at what I've done and said because there were better ways to go about things. I feel so sorry for dh and what I've done to him.

On the other hand. Honestly I have put up with so much that I just genuinely snapped.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it though. They sound nasty

Crikey, this is pretty awful.

You didn’t just snap. You planned it and you’re proud of it. Horrible

You could have left your husband without ruining a woman’s wedding day.

Of course he left you and wants a divorce.

You were a total bitch, and don't blame it on the alcohol.

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That was a shocking thing to do on someone's wedding day. Regardless of what went on the 20 years before, you chose to put up with it and stay to then let it out and behave so spitefully on someone's wedding day was incredibly spiteful and I'd have left you too. I guess if you hate them all so much and your marriage has been difficult, it's likely for the best all round.

I mean, to do it on the wedding day was pretty epic. We all have our breaking points, and they sound like in-laws from hell. I'm sorry you've lost your husband over it but hopefully you'll feel free from them once the dust has settled.

Did the bride stay with her cheating new husband?

Dh sister got married years ago and I went to the evening event as that's all I was invited to (no hen etc) I sat at a table and no one knew that I had a child, I got introduced to people as the slag and they all sat there laughing at me...

I was 19 by then, oh how stupid I was. I thought if I sat and ignored everything and played nice things would get better. It only got worse. I stayed for my dh and child so they could have a family. Even though to my dh his family came first always before me and my son.

Why did you tolerate years and years of constantly getting put down and treated like shit and then decide to behave like a lunatic on someone’s wedding day, as opposed to going ‘this isn’t working for me’ and ending things?

You're well rid of them all now. I hope you can protect your son from their toxicity.

Yeah she's still with him. Dh has moved in with them.

I honestly wish that I had the answer to that. I tried so hard to keep the peace and be perfect for everyone but no matter how I jumped it was never enough.

OP, it's really hard to understand why you didn't just divorce your husband, if you were so badly treated by his family, and he didn't support you? Instead, you chose not to attend the wedding, but sat and got drunk instead, and then decided to blow up not only your own marriage, but that of the newly married couple too. Surely you didn't expect a happy ending for yourself after that?

You are a horrible person and should be ashamed of yourself. Nothing they did excuses you confronting them on that particularly day.

It’s hard to understand why she married him.

Not just then it was a common phrase for me. My now dh didn't want me to keep the baby but I did.

I mean if your going for maximum impact on people that have treated you poorly for so long then you bloody aced it didn't you.
It's done now, I wouldn't bother apologising since firstly you don't sound sorry 😂 and secondly sounds like it wouldn't be appreciated anyway.
Just focus on your son and yourself, get some therapy to understand why you stayed in such a toxic environment for so long and get on with your life away from these people.

This is unbelievable 😑

Well that was grim.

I’d write heartfelt letters of apology to everyone, and just focus on your future. Some therapy might be in order to figure out why you felt the need to go scorched earth, and how not to do it again.

It sounded like your marriage needed to
end so you got that sorted anyway.

Actually, I just read the update re what they called you. In which case scrap the apologies and just move on.

The trouble is that you have done the most damage to the person who least deserved it - unless the bride has been in the family for years and joined in the attempts to shame you. If you really wanted to save her from a cheating partner and toxic in-laws you should have warned her long before her wedding day. You were pissed off that your DH wasn't responding to your messages (and possibly that he hasn't supported you over the years by standing up to his family) but you've ended your marriage by your actions.

Thank goodness you didn't overreact!

But seriously, there's nothing you can do about it now. Apologise (if you want to) and move on with your life.

You just can’t behave like this. I have a relative who does similar things. She causes so much upset.

I get why you lost it. It still wasn't right to ruin the wedding. That's the problem with swallowing your anger for years. It then comes out inappropriately at some point, so better to speak up at the time of each incident. But it's too late now. I hope you and your husband can get past this.