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Original poster

Just Snapped

498 replies

WeddingWTF · 28/06/2025 22:41

Not sure how to word this and have obviously name changed for this.

A few months ago my husbands brother was getting married. Me and dh have been having issues for a while now mainly about his family. Anyway the day of the wedding came and dh was away helping his brother. I honestly don't know what came over me but something in me just snapped and I thought I am not going to this wedding.

I spoke to my dh and told him that I wasn't coming and even though there was tension it was fine.

Roll on to later in the evening and I had drunk a bottle of wine. Dh was ignoring my texts and blanking me. I am so ashamed to say that a red mist came over me and over 20 years of shit that I had put up with from all of them came out.

I texted each and every member of his family and told them what I thought of them and texted the bride telling her that basically she had always treated me horrible and her now dh had been shagging everything with a pulse behind her back and constantly tried it on with me on nights out. I also said that her now dh has wanted to fuck her best friend for years and always go's on about how he got with the wrong friend. Absolutely nothing I said was untrue but obviously the fall out has been nuclear and dh has now left me, his family aren't talking to me and have blocked me on everything.

On one hand I feel so ashamed at what I've done and said because there were better ways to go about things. I feel so sorry for dh and what I've done to him.

On the other hand. Honestly I have put up with so much that I just genuinely snapped.

OP posts:
CleaningAngel · 30/06/2025 18:55

WeddingWTF · 28/06/2025 22:55

To give more context to things. I was 18 when I fell pregnant and my now dh then boyfriend listened to his family and walked away leaving me as a single mum. Me and dh managed to work things out but his family frequently called me a slag for having my child, constantly put me me down and humiliated me at every turn. So many times I sat in a room getting called a slag or talked to like a piece of shit.

I tried over the years, honestly I did but no matter what I did it was damed if you do and damed if you don't.

I am.with u on this, dorry they deserved it all if they've treated you badly, maybe u void of picked a better day,but good on you.
'You cannot treat people badly and expect to live a beautiful life'

JoBrandsCleaner · 30/06/2025 18:56

Ooh yes you’re so very unreasonable etc etc… whatever
if these lot were decent people in themselves and (separate issue) treating a young girl and THEIR FAMILY MEMBER baby like shit, this wouldn’t of happened would it. I feel like I could do this at times to my husbands lot but it would actually take too long. I just stay away from them these days
I guess just get your things in order,
calm down now and sort things out the best you can for your son. If he’d stood up for you now and then and sympathised you maybe wouldn’t have built it up so badly, but he can be left with his lovely family now slagging you off… let them get in with it.

Mumoftwoandcats · 30/06/2025 18:58

Well, look. As all the others here are pointing out, you behaved terribly. We’ve all done stuff we shouldn’t when we’ve had a drink. Now you need to focus on moving forward. I don’t know the laws, but I’m not sure your in laws can insist in seeing your son, I would be careful though, if he wants to see his family, I wouldn’t try to stop him.
I hope you can take some time and forgive yourself though, you did a stupid thing, you’ve tried to apologise, now you have to move on. Good luck, x

Ratisshortforratthew · 30/06/2025 19:00

Given the backstory this is no more than they deserved. Now you need to cut them all out of your for good. Your son’s father might have rights as a parent but the rest of them don’t.

LeeLemon · 30/06/2025 19:00

Sounds like you’re better off out of it, OP. What you did was wrong and you know it but they sound awful and your husband should have stuck up for you all along.
If you think you might have a problem with alcohol, get help with that for your own sake.

Wildefish · 30/06/2025 19:08

WeddingWTF · 28/06/2025 22:55

To give more context to things. I was 18 when I fell pregnant and my now dh then boyfriend listened to his family and walked away leaving me as a single mum. Me and dh managed to work things out but his family frequently called me a slag for having my child, constantly put me me down and humiliated me at every turn. So many times I sat in a room getting called a slag or talked to like a piece of shit.

I tried over the years, honestly I did but no matter what I did it was damed if you do and damed if you don't.

I get it they were a nightmare family but you have just become as bad. I hope you pull yourself together walk away and become a better person

loosiecannon · 30/06/2025 19:08

Good for you sticking up for yourself. They had it coming. It's not easy facing up to the anger taboo and it's going to be tough dealing with the fallout but hang in there. Also, grandparents have no automatic right to see grandchildren, they'd have to apply to court.

catlover123456789 · 30/06/2025 19:09

Why on earth would you do that? If the bride needed to hear these things, texting her the day of her wedding is appalling, you should have done it well before and far more tactfully; you've ruined her wedding, her marriage. If you hated DH and his family why did you stay with him?

tommyhoundmum · 30/06/2025 19:14

gamerchick · 28/06/2025 22:58

Fucking hell OP. You could have picked a better moment than someone's wedding. Like long before. Your motives look worse than any truths you told, simply because of the timing.

Nothing you can do now. Stay separated there's no going back.

It just seemed malicious

LaurieFairyCake · 30/06/2025 19:16

You needed to get away from them so you burnt the house down 🤷‍♀️

You’ve known all along that you’ve put up with endless shit for years and you finally snapped. You did it in spectacular fashion, you’ve made sure it was over Flowers

you’ve had no support from them and your ex husband has been awful, frankly they’re all awful

you now get to rebuild a life without them. Never have contact with them, don’t facilitate contact with those arseholes (your ex can do that)

welcome to your new life FlowersGin

Weepixie · 30/06/2025 19:16

Op, there’s no condemnation from me, you know you could have done things differently but you didn’t and I hope that you go onto happier days ahead.

In fact you remind me of my friend who’d put up with a lot from her husband until one day she discovered he had a mistress who he’d fly into various countries for a meet up when he was away on business trips. They usually lived at apposite ends of the world. Anyway my friend did what people here are advised to do and got her ducks in a row - before telling him one morning she knew what he’d been doing and it just happened to be the day the other woman married her partner who’d she’d been cheating on. I don’t know how my friend managed it but the woman’s partner, family and friends who I think she’d contacted through FB all woke up to the same messages on the day of the wedding and the though the marriage went ahead it was over very quickly afterwards.

I hope you manage to get the counselling you need to get over your marriage and I wish you abc your son all the best going forward

Weepixie · 30/06/2025 19:19

Wildefish · 30/06/2025 19:08

I get it they were a nightmare family but you have just become as bad. I hope you pull yourself together walk away and become a better person

Show quote history

I hope the OP becomes a different and happier person to the one her abusive relationship as moulded her into.

Hayley1256 · 30/06/2025 19:21

I think your better off without them OP. Let your DH see his son at agreed times and let then take you to court

Miaminmoo · 30/06/2025 19:22

I feel really sad that you have been put in this situation. You sound like you were at the end of your rope and these people have been horrid to you for years. When you get to this point all reason goes out of the window and I’m sure this wasn’t premeditated you just got drunk and ended up letting it all out. It sounds like you are best off away from them all and I wouldn’t even try to apologise, I’d be standing by what I said if it was all true. Tough that it was on their wedding day - they’ve obviously been goading you for years. Move on and forget about them all and as for your DH, perhaps he should have had your back a little more rather than letting them speak to you that way. You don’t sound like a bad person, just a very beaten down one. I wish you all happiness moving forward.

knor · 30/06/2025 19:25

Oh my goodness OP. Was this all on the actual wedding day?
I do agree with some posters that would be interesting to hear some context to why you don’t get on with them etc but I’m afraid it feels like you’ve stooped to their level with these messages.
however, it’s happened now and I’m sure like you said, it was all the anger built up over time.

Velmy · 30/06/2025 19:29

Jeremy Kyle behavior.

newyearsresolurion · 30/06/2025 19:50

Blame it on the booze.

Kjpt140v · 30/06/2025 20:14

WeddingWTF · 28/06/2025 23:08

Dh left after the wedding and says he wants a divorce. My son is early teens.

Show quote history

You were 18 when you had your son. You've put up with shit for 20 years. And your son is early teens?

restingbitchface30 · 30/06/2025 20:15

Wow I’ve had my issues with my partners family, but your timing was way off. Had it been a different time I would say good for you, I get why you snapped. I mean that, I really do get it. But their wedding day is savage. I would say this is irreparable and just to try and keep things civil moving forwards.

BooBooDoodle · 30/06/2025 20:17

This was pretty epic OP, my goodness. I’m guessing the alcohol lit the paper and off you went. Always tell the truth when you’re pissed and you really did. Combine that with all the resentment you harboured, the 20 years off emotional and mental abuse, you blew a few gaskets there. Yeah it was ill timed on your part but I can be petty until the cows come home so I get it. You wanted to deal a similar amount of damage back to them and make them hurt. Justified reasons. If the bride has been a bint all these years then she got her fair share, wedding day or not, at least she’ll remember it as will you. I’d just slope off into the sunset now and concentrate on recouping. Get some focus and calm and move on. You deserve better so go and seek a better life now you’ve set the cats amongst the pigeons. Let them wallow and be twats, you’re free.

Shellyshep · 30/06/2025 20:30

I’m clearly in the minority but I’m dying laughing at this… fair play OP 😂

Pessismistic · 30/06/2025 20:39

Oh op what a mess. It’s done now and they were never nice to you I get why it all boiled over. The bride has probably been told your just being a nasty bitch but they have been nasty to you and you just gave them a taste of their own medicine.
I would start the ball rolling with the divorce you might be entitled to something it will be hard right now especially for for your ds but you might look back at this further down the line and laugh. Like you said it’s the truth and some people can’t handle that but I would be looking after yourself and ds. Yes you had the kid maybe it’s time to tell him that his father and grandparents wanted you to rid of him. What a toxic family you were tied to see this as a blessing in disguise. You get rid in one go.

Weepixie · 30/06/2025 20:50

Shellyshep · 30/06/2025 20:30

I’m clearly in the minority but I’m dying laughing at this… fair play OP 😂

Me too even though I know it wasn’t ideal.

croydon15 · 30/06/2025 21:07

Ursulla · 29/06/2025 00:29

Blimey. Do you quite often sit and drink a bottle of wine of a night?

You are a nurse so you should know better, if you can't hold your liqueur don't drink, you won't be in that situation.

Laura95167 · 30/06/2025 21:13

You were a full dick.

The truth isn't a defence in this. You were playing games with your DH, fishing for attention and when he prioritised his brothers wedding you decided to be nasty and spiteful.

Even if it's true DBIL fancies you and the brides mate why would telling her in a foul mouthed drunken rant be your response? The poor woman.

This is your DSs family. He must he devastated, even if his dad does sound like a wet fannel.

If they were nasty thats uncool, but im that case you raced to their level and exceeded it.

There are ways to stand up for yourself and that wasnt it. Tbh it seems like this long term isnt a loss for you so awful as it was id just start moving on and preparing for the divorce

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