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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Where are the trans men?

315 replies

BlueandPinkSwan · 27/06/2025 12:11

Just that really, we are always hearing about men wanting to 'become women'. Phycially, mentally and emotionally impossible, but why aren't women rushing to do the same thing in reverse?
Just interested to know as I'm gender critical, and hate the patriarcal society we live in.
Is it because men wouldn't accept it as a trans man being part of their tribe but women are forced to put up with trans women invading /trying to enter into woman only spaces?

OP posts:
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Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 06:29

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 06:21

I think that is sadly very true

Oh do you, care to have any evidence for that because it’s well known that the trans community are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the cisgender community so it makes zero sense.

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 06:38

Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 06:29

Oh do you, care to have any evidence for that because it’s well known that the trans community are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the cisgender community so it makes zero sense.

That's nonsense though. Ultimately women are at far more danger from men than 'transwomen' will ever be from anyone.

Though I look forward to you posting that study where misgendering is classified as a 'hate crime' and therefore concluding transwomen are 'victims of violence' to a greater degree than all the women raped and murdered every year.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 29/06/2025 06:41

Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 06:29

Oh do you, care to have any evidence for that because it’s well known that the trans community are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the cisgender community so it makes zero sense.

Do you have any evidence to back your claims, seeing as it’s so well known?

Oodlesof · 29/06/2025 06:46

It would have been quicker just to say you hate trans women (and probably men as well).

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 06:49

Oodlesof · 29/06/2025 06:46

It would have been quicker just to say you hate trans women (and probably men as well).

Where are you seeing this 'hate' from the OP?

Helleofabore · 29/06/2025 07:12

Have you checked these sources for what they do and don’t explicitly state as being included in these statistics?

For instance has misgendering been included in these statistics?

Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 07:12

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 06:49

Where are you seeing this 'hate' from the OP?

It oozes from the OP particularly when a little research would have told the OP the numbers are equal

In England and Wales, the 2021 census indicated roughly equal numbers of trans men and trans women, with approximately 48,000 individuals identifying as each, according to the Office for National Statistics. This data represents a portion of the 262,000 people who reported a gender identity different from their sex registered at birth.

Gender identity, England and Wales - Office for National Statistics

The gender identity of usual residents aged 16 years and over in England and Wales, Census 2021 data.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/culturalidentity/genderidentity/bulletins/genderidentityenglandandwales/census2021

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 07:16

Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 07:12

It oozes from the OP particularly when a little research would have told the OP the numbers are equal

In England and Wales, the 2021 census indicated roughly equal numbers of trans men and trans women, with approximately 48,000 individuals identifying as each, according to the Office for National Statistics. This data represents a portion of the 262,000 people who reported a gender identity different from their sex registered at birth.

It was a question. How is that 'oozing hate'?

Helleofabore · 29/06/2025 07:39

KerryAnnSalford · 27/06/2025 14:46

Also, since when were segregated sports actually made to protect us? They were made to keep us out of the “boys clubs”, I remember back in the days of real feminism we used to dream about playing alongside the men.

Coming back to this bit of misinformation. Anyone who still believes the particular stream of feminism that produced the nugget that sport was only ever sex segregated because of the 'boys club', perhaps this website will throw the light instantly on why sports are separated by sex so that female people have the same opportunities through fair competition.

boysvswomen.com/#/

Lins77 · 29/06/2025 07:57

Well, this has become very polarised and I don't see either side changing their views!

I'm no expert and I certainly don't "hate" anybody.

I have two points/thoughts.

On sport - I do have an issue with biological males in women's sport, due to concerns of fairness and safety. To say transmen have competed in men's sport may be true, but it's not the same issue, because they don't have the same innate physical advantage that biological males have. That I imagine is why there are no male sportspeople arguing against the inclusion of transmen. Also because I suspect it happens a lot less. Yes, women can beat men (Billie Jean King/Bobby Riggs, for instance) but it's a lot less likely especially at a high level.

More generally - yes, there have always been "transsexual" people, but they used to be very very few, usually men who went to great lengths to become "female" via what used to be called sex change operations. Why are there now so very many, most of whom don't have any kind of surgery? You could argue it's because society is now more accepting of people being their true selves. But I struggle to believe that there are now so very many more people (including legions of young teenage girls) whose true selves are the opposite sex when there's no evidence of this being a major issue in the past. At my DD's school it seemed like every second person was trans or non-binary, and I strongly suspect most of them will not continue to be so in adult life, because there's so obviously an element of it being fashionable/high profile/attractive to confused young people who feel a bit different. (And it's a bit old hat just to be gay now, it seems.)

I'm not saying nobody is "genuinely" trans. But it has to be a lot less than currently seems to be the case, surely.

Superhansrantowindsor · 29/06/2025 08:00

Trans men pass more easily than trans women.

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:26

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 29/06/2025 05:47

Female mammals have bodies which from conception are organised around the production of large gametes, i.e. eggs, and the development of a female reproductive system. Even if something goes wrong developmentally or medically, that individual will always be female, not male. We can no more identify out of our sex than we can opt out of gravity. It makes no more sense to say 'I identify as female' than it would say 'I identify as tall/20/Black/a wheelchair user' or anything else which an individual manifestly isn't. No one can identify out of material reality.

So you're saying that being a woman is defined by certain biological functions?

Which is saying that women who cannot perform those biological functions "aren't real/full women"

Got it.

I'm sure all those women who do experience gender dysphoria because they cannot perform or conform to those biological functions will be delighted to know you agree with them

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:27

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 29/06/2025 06:03

No, everyone doesn’t have a dominant ‘gender identity’. I certainly don’t. I’m just a woman. I don’t feel like I’m a woman, I just am. I’ve never had to argue the toss that I am one.

What is a gender identity anyway, alone a dominant one?

What you are saying is "I am a woman because I know I am a woman"

You cannot define it any more clearly than you keep trying to demand we do

It's just something you know. Which is what transpeople know, they know they aren't the person their body supposedly reflects

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 29/06/2025 09:30

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:27

What you are saying is "I am a woman because I know I am a woman"

You cannot define it any more clearly than you keep trying to demand we do

It's just something you know. Which is what transpeople know, they know they aren't the person their body supposedly reflects

I am a woman because I was born one. A female. That is my sex. It’ll never change. I also don’t feel like I’m 43, I just am.

It’s not difficult.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 29/06/2025 09:33

Saying you’re a woman because ‘you just know’ is hardly a coherent, valid, argument and luckily it’s not taken seriously by the majority - and the law.

DownWhichOfLate · 29/06/2025 09:33

@DoctorRoseReturns - I think you need to read it again, slowly. In particular: “Even if something goes wrong…”, which means even if these abilities aren’t realised, because we all know fertility isn’t a given for either sex.

You also haven’t addressed the question: what about people who do not have the cognitive ability to understand sex, or are temporarily incapacitated (coma, for example), are they neither male or female? How about babies?

HRTQueen · 29/06/2025 09:36

I am a woman because of biology

meaning of woman - an adult female human being

meaning of female - the sex that ovulates and can carry offspring

now my body may or may not actually be able to achieve the above and if not this may be down to medical issues but that is what my body due to biology should be able to, not my mind not my feelings but biology

Helleofabore · 29/06/2025 09:39

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:26

So you're saying that being a woman is defined by certain biological functions?

Which is saying that women who cannot perform those biological functions "aren't real/full women"

Got it.

I'm sure all those women who do experience gender dysphoria because they cannot perform or conform to those biological functions will be delighted to know you agree with them

A human is categorised into either of two sex categories based on how their body is formed around producing either of the two different sizes of gametes.

It is about the formation of that individual's body, not the successful production of those gametes. Whether a person's body produces, ever produced or will ever produce that particular gamete is not relevant in the categorisation of their sex class.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 29/06/2025 09:42

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:27

What you are saying is "I am a woman because I know I am a woman"

You cannot define it any more clearly than you keep trying to demand we do

It's just something you know. Which is what transpeople know, they know they aren't the person their body supposedly reflects

We have defined it. If you can't read and understand it, that's on you. Every mammal, including humans, knows who's male and who's female amongst the other members of their species, for obvious biological reasons. In recent times scientists have discovered a lot of fascinating detail about how bodies develop as either female or male and how that affects the individual. But we aready knew the key bits before then. How could we possibly not do? Our species would have died out long ago otherwise.

The only thing that makes an individual male or female, boy or girl, man or woman, is biology. We then have to navigate through life in whichever sex we find ourselves. The world is organised for male humans, unfortunately, although we've made some inroads in the last century or so to try to move closer to a position where women are not seen as a weird, over-complicated and yet at the same time inferior version of men, but as equals - different in some key respects, but entitled to equal opportunities and rights. There are very few things which women can't do. Being female doesn't mean having a less powerful brain, but it does mean having less physical strength and having to cope with a female reproductive system, whether we actually reproduce or not. This is one reason why we have separate accommodations for the female sex. Another is male violence and the unfortunate fact that almost all sexual predators and fetishists are male. Women and girls have a right to safety and privacy when we are vulnerable.

TheKeatingFive · 29/06/2025 10:00

DoctorRoseReturns · 29/06/2025 09:27

What you are saying is "I am a woman because I know I am a woman"

You cannot define it any more clearly than you keep trying to demand we do

It's just something you know. Which is what transpeople know, they know they aren't the person their body supposedly reflects

It's been defined perfectly clearly.

If you can't understand that - your education is lacking.

Has your body developed along a path to make eggs or sperm. Very simple.

Helleofabore · 29/06/2025 10:11

DoctorRoseReturns · 28/06/2025 22:54

Whereas I am for Option 2. Leaving people alone to live their life so long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Because Option 1 leaves it far too open for people to hurt, scare, harass and bully other people who may already have concerns about their looks...

Option 2 does not, in any way, stop you challenging anyone who is acting in an intimidating or inappropriate way

I am glad that you feel that women and girls can challenge someone who is acting in an intimidating or inappropriate way.

That is really important.

Because any male person who enters into a female single sex space in the UK, understanding that it is likely to cause some women and girls to be distressed by their presence is acting in a way that is intimidating. Particularly, if that male person knows what the Supreme Court stated in its judgement.

It does not have to be an act of violence to be one that is considered intimidation. The simple act of entering a space that excludes you as a person (ie. the use of you is a general use) is one of intimidation.

Knowingly violating the boundaries of women and children is not a neutral act and is in fact one that seems shared by numerous male people who post images and videos of themselves entering female single sex spaces online. The act of posting these is further intimidation in addition to the first action.

No male person above the age of 8 years old should be accessing female single sex provisions. The male people who are accessing these provisions are ones who clearly have no right to be there. The simple access of that provision changes that provision to mixed sex.

croftplaced · 29/06/2025 10:33

KerryAnnSalford · 27/06/2025 14:56

An Adult human female, which for me includes trans women.

trans women are women in my eyes and trans men are men. No amount of bigotry or dog whistling is changing my opinion on that and I’m thankful that most outside of the mums net echo chamber seem to agree with me on that

Is this a wind up?
Funny.😆

croftplaced · 29/06/2025 10:34

Rumblrh4748 · 29/06/2025 06:29

Oh do you, care to have any evidence for that because it’s well known that the trans community are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the cisgender community so it makes zero sense.

And the 'female community’ are far more likely to be raped than the trans community as a whole. just saying.

Superhansrantowindsor · 29/06/2025 10:44

People have two legs. Some people are only born with one leg. Something went wrong either in utero or once born. They are still a person.