My boyfriend is going back and forth with his ex fling.

[Jakielove]

My man of 6 months is going back and forth with his ex fling of a year ago. I found these messages on his phone because my gut was telling me to check. Messages were of him telling his ex how he doesn’t like how she acts, how she wasn’t special to him etc. Basically texts of them hitting low blows with each other. Keep In mind this relationship lasted on 3 months and ended a year ago. He was the first man she ever slept with, he claims that he doesn’t care for her. Yet why respond when she sends a text ? She sent her number over to him and told him to call her, and I seen the call log and he ended up calling her smh ……. I don’t know what do do ? He claims no feeling are involved

He doesn't LIKE either of you. He is a very young man putting it about and having a fantastic time having two (as far as you know, there may be more) very young women tying themselves in knots to get his attention. He must think Christmas is here early.

Well done for ending it. He's an immature unreliable selfish twit.

Now spend some time on YOU. Build your self esteem, self worth. Do things that aren't centred on men and what they may or may not be thinking.

It certainly seems that way. Don’t be surprised if he goes straight into a relationship with her now, it’s an easy option for him to get his ego boost. I do understand why it still matters to you that he doesn’t like her, even when you’ve realised he doesn’t really like you either. It hurts less to think that he’s treated you both badly than it does to think that he prefers her. For your own good, stop letting the pair of them live rent free in your head. I know it’s hard, but try to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter if he does like her. You don’t like him. That’s the important bit. He’s a dickhead and you’re free of him. You need to do something to take your mind off him. Can you plan to meet up with friends?

It seems like what ?

If he doesn't like her, why ask her to spend time with him on Saturday?

He's a horrible cunt with no respect for you. Does that help?

It seems like he doesn’t particularly like her either. Im not sure he’s capable of properly liking anyone. Now stop thinking about it. He’s a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to have you thinking about him. You keep going back to this idea about whether or not he likes her, I get that you’ve had this playing on your mind for ages and it’s hard to let go. You need to get to the point where it doesn’t matter to you even if he does like her, he was mistreating you and you don’t put up with that. He’s not a nice guy. You need to stop obsessing over this. Even if he doesn’t like her, he was still happy to keep stringing her along to boost his ego, just as he was with you. You’ve done well to get rid of him.

He’s just a player.
Don't be played.

I think its a distinction without a difference.

He likes her attention. Despite being with you hes following her on SM, responding, teasing her, texting her, calling her. He feels something even if it's just a tingle in his jingle at riling her up.

Leaving him isnt a mistake. Making excuses for him is.

Because he flirts like a teenage boy.

I think deep down hed absolutely still have sex with her

I think collectively we all think his feelings dont matter his behavoiur does.

He might fancy her, have feelings, be bitter, be obsessed, need her for his ego, his heart, or just some attention.

Bit what hes doing is disrespecting you and your "relationship" because hes giving his attention to her

Of course he said that because hes got a nice safe thing with you and flirty excitement with her.

If hes telling the truth ask him to delete her SM and block her.. see how that goes.

I dont think he likes her (you dont treat someone you like this way) i do think hed like access to some more sex with her though.

He doesnt have to like her to fancy her

You dont have to understand why hed have an interest in someone he separated from a year a go.

It probably would hurt your ego and hurt to think shes anything other than desperate. And thats ok

The truth is it doesnt matter what he felt, he was behaving like a single man. You are better without him

Its hard to accept someone you love doesnt love you the same way, but the best youll ever feel is when you stop wanting the love of someone who doesnt love you

Leaving him was a great decision. Best of luck with your future

And let’s be honest some men would have sex with a stray dog if it showed them any attention.

Actually liking someone isn’t a prerequisite

See everyone is saying he doesn’t like her I knew it!

But he doesn’t seem to like you much either so stop playing the pick me game with a man who doesn’t give a toss

I hope that gives you some peace. Now for goodness sake drop it and move on. He is not worth being liked by. You need to think about your next move and stop stressing about who he does or doesn’t like. He’s an immature dickhead who likes messing with women’s heads for his own amusement. He is not a nice guy. Focus on you. What are you doing next, what will you do for yourself to make yourself feel more confident.

Youre hung up on the word "like"

Generally the consensus is we think he "fancies" her.

But he isnt being kind to her, hes being antagonistic. We dont think he likes her. We dont think he likes you. We think the only person he likes is himself.

We think he fancies her, hes flirting with her. And he absolutely will have sex with her again. He may rekindle his relationship with her.

We think both of you could do better

And not ‘everyone’ is saying that at all. You’re repeating it over and over again and most are just so exasperated they just think ‘ok yes if you say so’

So you do think he likes her

This is all I have left

OP you're going in mad circles.

Can you tell us why it matters to you whether he likes her or not?

Likes her as in fancies her, yes. Likes her as in up for dating her, yes. Likes her as in wants sex with her, definitely.

Likes her as in would treat her nicely, probably not

Yes. Yes he does. That's why he's messaging her and trying to meet her. He likes her more than he likes you. Now time to get over it.