My boyfriend is going back and forth with his ex fling.

[Jakielove]

My man of 6 months is going back and forth with his ex fling of a year ago. I found these messages on his phone because my gut was telling me to check. Messages were of him telling his ex how he doesn’t like how she acts, how she wasn’t special to him etc. Basically texts of them hitting low blows with each other. Keep In mind this relationship lasted on 3 months and ended a year ago. He was the first man she ever slept with, he claims that he doesn’t care for her. Yet why respond when she sends a text ? She sent her number over to him and told him to call her, and I seen the call log and he ended up calling her smh ……. I don’t know what do do ? He claims no feeling are involved

Reading the post I was expecting those involved to be teenagers! Your boyfriend and his ex are both immature. The relationship lasted 3 months, over a year ago, yet instead of blocking each other and moving on (like adults), they are 'slinging mud' at each other via text! Pretty pathetic on both sides. Honestly for a 6 month relationship, I wouldn't put up with this shit... he's not your man if he's still messaging his ex...end the relationship and find someone else capable of being an adult.

NO, she doesn’t because he replies and even agrees to meet up with her.

You are the one looking silly and desperate to stay hold of such a loser.

At this point this is clearly just a wind up thread. At this point if you haven't ditched the guy and moved on I don't have much if any sympathy for you. You got the answer you needed on page 1. You've continued to circle around saying essentially the same thing, and gotten the same response (other than your bizarre post about guys telling you a contrary opinion.

I'm inclined to agree with the posters who think you're actually either the ex-gf OR this is just a made up scenario by a troll who is after attention and gets some weird kick out of click bait. Even if it's true the response is still the same: Grow up. Seriously. You asked for advice, you've gotten page after page of the same advice: ditch him. The post in which you say you "don't know how you will get over this" is nonsense: this isn't a 10 year marriage, this is dating a guy - apparently non-exclusively - for a few months. Get some self respect and move on - and if you can't muster some self respect then get some therapy - and show the therapist this long string of nonsense. It will tell them all they need to know about you and what needs working on.

No.
Do dump him!

You both look silly and desperate letting a man play you off against each other like this. Why do you want him so much? He doesn’t really want you. If he did, he would have blocked her months ago. Why do you think you deserve so little? Not pursuing other women should be the bare minimum he should be doing in a relationship, and he’s won’t even stick to that. If he genuinely wanted you, he would be prioritising you. He knows he can keep stringing you along because you just let him do it. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you, and he’s treating you like an insignificant toy he can pick up and put down as he chooses while waiting for someone better to come along. As several other posters have said, he’s just not that into you. Please just get rid of him and spend some time working on your self respect. Stop putting up with being treated like this.

And you’re there feeling like you’ve won a prize. Meanwhile this scumbag of a man sits back and enjoys two women fighting over him, massaging his inadequate ego.

He’s making you both look like absolute fools. 😆

And you look desperate and silly to us for wanting to hold on to a man who is disrespectful to you by playing these games with an ex.

A decent guy would tell her he's not interested and not play these games. A decent guy would tell you honestly just the once, not keep taunting you and winding you up about it.

The man you have is a completely self centred, self serving twat and if you're not going to listen to anything anyone has said here, stop posting.

What are you actually serious? There is one person hanging around like a puppy after a bone, can you really not notice the desperation?

Yeah you're definitely not real after that comment. Fucking hell.

There's an undercurrent of the OP thinking that he couldn't possibly want the other girl because she is XYZ or doing XYZ - and that all everyone has to do is play by the rules.

And that there is some moral obligation or divine justice which means that she, the OP, should have this guy as her partner.

That's not how relationships work. All that has to happen is that they are up for each other. The fact that mutual friends, cousins, the world at large think that they're a bad match doesn't matter.

He's not that bothered about the OP (but she makes it easy for him to have both hanging around after him, waiting for the crumbs); and he's not going to be 'in trouble' for making what she thinks is obviously the wrong choice.

OP, you clearly don't understand sarcasm, as when 'Agix' said 'The poor ex fling making an utter fool of herself though, jesus. At least you're not her... Right?!' She didn't mean it, she was actually taking the piss out of you, for being such an idiot! However, you actually chose to believe that she was serious, and clung onto her words, thinking that you're the sensible one, and the Ex is the fool.

If you had a friend, or a sister in this position, what advice would you give them OP?

@Jakielove I think you need to stay with this guy. You clearly need to learn to lesson yourself - the hard way. Just try not to have a baby with him Good luck!

OP is this the same man you posted about in December that you were worried was messing you about then?

Thank you guys for all the support and responses. U finally ended things …. I’m just heartbroken, confused. By how a man can still like a women he only dated for 3 months a year ago… it does not make sense…

OP - you'll be tying yourself up in knots if you try to figure out his motives.

Gently and kindly - he isn't worth that time or effort. You'll never understand why he's behaved as he's done.

Well done for having the strength to end things - now it's time to look after yourself, take some time to feel sad then work on processing the break up and moving on.

I think the women is dumb and she’ll end up getting played as well ..

Again - kindly - that isn't your concern.

Don't try and mind read other people - it's just such a waste of your time and energy.

Focus on yourself, on taking care of yourself and getting stronger.

But most importantly, you won’t be getting played anymore. Stop screwing yourself up over why he likes her, if he liked her that much he’d be with her. If he liked you that much, he wouldn’t be messaging her. The truth is he’s not that bothered about either of you and is just enjoying the feeling of two women wanting him, you’re an ego boost and nothing more.

Block all contact with him so you’re not tempted to get drawn back in. Now that you’ve ended it he’ll likely come chasing after you, not because it’s you he wants, but because he doesn’t like that you had the audacity to end it, that’s bad for his ego, he was supposed to be the one to end it.

Take some time to focus on yourself. I know it sounds cliche, but maybe try reading a few self help books. I don’t know why you think these measly scraps he was throwing you are all you deserve in a relationship, but you have very low self confidence and unfortunately nasty men will prey upon that. You deserve to be with someone who treasures you. But first of all you need to build some confidence just being on your own. Another cliche, learn to love yourself first.

Well done for taking a positive step and getting this nasty user out of your life. Now focus on doing something nice for yourself, you deserve a treat. Doesn’t have to cost, an evening binge watching your favourite show can be very comforting. Good luck for the future OP.

So he doesn’t like her….

yet I seen that he texted her asking her

“what should we do on Saturday”

OP - are you reading the advice people are giving you?

Your responses don't seem to have anything to do with what we're saying?

Stop focusing on your ex and this woman, just look after yourself.

I am listing. I don’t believe he really likes this woman either though. Maybe she’s just easier, yet how all of these comments are talking about how he has genuine feelings for her are wrong.

I don’t think he particularly likes either of you. He certainly doesn’t respect either of you. Stop dwelling on what he does or doesn’t feel about her. He’s no prize. Tell yourself she’s welcome to him. You don’t want him. You don’t want anyone who doesn’t value you enough to not be dicking around messaging other women. You are worth more than that. I know it’s hard, but try to stop thinking about him and her. Think about you. Think about what you’re going to do with your life. You matter, they do not.

I'm afraid I really don't believe you've ended it OP, you're still far too invested in what he feels and what they're going to do together, WHY?

Just make the bloody break, and be done with the manipulative arsehole, or stop posting about it, as all you're doing is repeating yourself, you asked for help, lots of people have told you what to do, and yet you're still here, asking the same questions.

Sorry, but I've run out of patience with this one! I'm out of here!

You really do remind me of a girl who asked me and a friend about blow jobs, she honestly couldn't understand why it was called a blow job when there was no actual blowing involved!

This is your relationship, lots of blowing, but its just wind, no satisfaction!

Exactly he does not like her either. So all these comments stating that he loves/likes her are just going overboard