AIBU to say No I cannot move my fucking birthday!!

[WiseFinch]

Hard hat ready here as I know I’m being self centered.
I invited friends about two months ago on a night out to celebrate my birthday. Of the 6 people I invited, 3 suggested we “do another weekend” immediately. To which I said well no, my birthday is that weekend! Now at the last minute the others have pulled out, all suggesting we “just do a different weekend.”
I know this is fairly immature but if we did another weekend the night out would just be another night out, it’d be over a week past my birthday at the minimum so at that point I’d be completely over it and it defeats the purpose of the night out.
The fact that all 6 people have suggested to just move the date makes me think I am being crazy but I personally would never ask somebody to move their own fucking birthday ? If I couldn’t make it I’d politely decline. Am I being unreasonable or crazy about this?!

You're presumably an adult? If having your friends there is important to you then celebrate your birthday on another weekend.

You can move it and celebrate on another day with your birthday your friends or not move it and celebrate without them 🤷‍♀️

presumably they do want to celebrate with you, hence suggesting another date rather than politely declining

I would be great full for the night out even if it wasn't the actual day. People do have other things happening in their lives, child care maybe?

Either move it and celebrate with your friends or stick to your guns and don a party hat alone like a wee loser 🥳

You’re not being unreasonable! I’d be very hurt by this. Your friends are indicating that your birthday isn’t a priority for them

Sounds like it’s not a convenient weekend for them. I guess your choices are to move it to a more convenient weekend or go without.

It's silly. If Prince Charlie's or should I say King Charles can move his birthday then so can you. Stop being petty.

Are you 8?

Was there a reason 3 all suggested doing another weekend? Is there a clash with something? How much notice have you given people?

I'd take it as a nice thing that people are asking to rearrange rather than a flat 'no.'

They are adults, are friends birthdays a priority? They can celebrate any time

Well by these responses (kind of what I expected I can’t lie) I am the crazy one - I’d just never ask a friend to move their birthday.
Yes I’m an adult, lol, not a big birthday though. None of us have children.

If you’d asked a week or two in advance you might have BU, but as you asked a couple of months before your birthday YANBU.

I hope you stick to your guns and have a lovely time, whoever you end up going out with.

Ok, dont move it and go out on your own because your friends are busy.

You're not being unreasonable, you're being an idiot.

Comments like this make me cringe myself inside out.

Half the people you invited were busy, why not do another weekend? People do have busy lives.

Are they all going somewhere without you?

However, YANBU. You asked them two months ago!

I know a 7 year old who has just celebrated her birthday a couple of weeks after the actual date.

If she can cope with that, I’m sure a grown adult can.

Yanbu but people on mumsnet have a real problem with celebrating birthdays.

This makes no sense. If you didn’t ask them to move it then you’d have to just not come at all if you were busy. Duh.

Your friends are making an effort and saying they all want to come. They just can’t do that specific date 🙄

Life shouldn’t be this hard to navigate.

I get that everyone has a life, I suppose my point is yes we could do another weekend but at that point it’s no longer my birthday night out. I’m fairly introverted anyway and I know personally I’ll be well over wanting to celebrate when the occasion would’ve passed over a week ago

If they already have commitments then not much you can do- when I do something for my bday I check a few dates out with my core best friends then decide on a date they can do then invite wider group of friends. It's the only time to make sure you can get your friends together in this day and age!

If you are dead set on a date in the summer you need to literally book in a year ahead as there's always weddings and hens and bbqs etc being organized

Did they have prior engagements or are they just being contrary?

If it's the latter, do the same on their birthdays, be busy.

You sound exhausting.

I mean with friends I always aim for as close to their birthday as possible but e.g. I'm not going to adjust holiday dates that I'm arranging with wider family to avoid weekends near a friend's birthday and I wouldn't expect them to either.

Some people that means they may miss my birthday or I theirs, others we'd move things around to make it work. We'd generally aim for two weeks either side, though worst case we've done three. I always spin it to myself it as a positive thing - extend my birthday for longer!

Honestly it's pretty normal even for kids to have their birthday celebration on a different day to their actual birthday, it's hard to see what the big deal is really?