AIBU to say No I cannot move my fucking birthday!!

[WiseFinch]

Hard hat ready here as I know I’m being self centered.
I invited friends about two months ago on a night out to celebrate my birthday. Of the 6 people I invited, 3 suggested we “do another weekend” immediately. To which I said well no, my birthday is that weekend! Now at the last minute the others have pulled out, all suggesting we “just do a different weekend.”
I know this is fairly immature but if we did another weekend the night out would just be another night out, it’d be over a week past my birthday at the minimum so at that point I’d be completely over it and it defeats the purpose of the night out.
The fact that all 6 people have suggested to just move the date makes me think I am being crazy but I personally would never ask somebody to move their own fucking birthday ? If I couldn’t make it I’d politely decline. Am I being unreasonable or crazy about this?!

They want to celebrate with you just can't do the proposed date.

My birthday is very early January so i've spent years doing things a couple of weeks later - when i was at uni i'd wait for the whole exam diet to pass before organising something. Now everyone needs a break after Christmas and New Year. It makes no difference to me, i'm still having a night out with my friends celebrating my birthday.

It's literally a day you fell out of a vagina!

I wish. As someone with experience in this area, I assure you that is not how giving birth works.

Does anyone still do a “birthday night out” passed the age of 22?!

yes?

Why not? I do a full weekend with friends for mine as well (on top of the one with my kid, and the one with my husband😂)

😂😂😂

sadly true

Yes, some people very much do.

Especially if they don’t have kids (which OP doesn’t), or a partner (which OP does but he is working away.

I suspect a lot of the people being so scathing about people needing to celebrate birthdays with friends probably have lovely family set-ups and plenty of people around them to say happy birthday.

I think YANBU to be offended that they are asking you to move it. However I would expect the host to potentially suggest moving it following feedback that everyone cannot attend. If that’s important to them

The initial 3 that said no straight off the bat presumably already had other plans, which is absolutely reasonable. The other two, presumably whatever came up was pretty important...? (Otherwise your gripe here would be cancelling last minute, rather than not celebrating your birthday the week of...?)

So you've got two choices here, either do another weekend, or celebrate on your own! It's annoying, but that's life!

I have a friend who's birthday is around Christmas, and she sometimes has to celebrate her birthday over a month early because everyone is away staying with family on her actual birthday. A few months ago I was having to explain to my very upset 5 year old why she couldn't have her party on her actual birthday... (reason being, she could celebrate, but no friends would be able to join her)... she was quite miffed, but she got it in the end... 😬

Hmmm my 6 year old dd and some of her friends have coped with celebrating their birthdays away from their actual birthday, so YABU. Just choose another weekend.

For me it depend on just how they suggested these alternative weekends.

Inviting someone out to a specific event (date, venue, whatever) and them turning around and trying to change it to suit them, I would find rude and pushy. I’d rather forego the whole thing than be pushed about.

But if they knew that a number of mutual friends would also be unavailable and proposed another date in the knowledge you’d get a much better turnout, fine. Or if they said they couldn’t go out then, but how about meeting them separately on a later date - that’s good too. I’ve arranged similar with a friend when I couldn’t make the do she’s invited me to. As others have said, it’s nice that they want to attend so much.

Can’t tell from your posts which of these scenarios it was.

😂😂😂

yeah do this OP!! Fuck them aaaalll 🤪

“Your birthday isn’t a priority for them”

Yes, this makes me cringe.

Your friends can't make that weekend. Just arrange it when they can?

So the three who immediately said no, that was OK because the three others said yes?

So of the three that initially said no, it didn't bother you that they couldn't be there, so I'm guessing not such good friends?

The three that have dropped out last minute & therefore left you with no one also don't sound like good friends unfortunately.

My birthday is Xmas day my sister is leap day.
We never have birthdays.
If we want one we will choose a different day.

How old are you? You'd already been told by some that wasn't a good weekend for them. Unless you are paying for it all, then you can't control what other people do. It's a pain, but there you are.

I get it. I’m sorry you feel sad. Your DP won’t be around and friends are busy. Yes you can do it another day but like you say - birthday will be over and you won’t have a party on that weekend.

could you take yourself off to a spa instead - leave the friends out of it?

Tell me you don’t have kids without telling me you don’t have kids…

I do see your point to be honest, Op.

They aren’t getting that the point of the celebration is that it’s your birthday - so you want to celebrate as near as possible to your birthday.

There’s not much you can do in real life though unfortunately.

That’s incredible that you got that combination of dates with two siblings! What are the chances? 😄

Your parents must have thought there was a jinx!

I suspect you’re right!

I’d like to move mine - back by about twenty years!

I think that those of us who enjoy spending time with friends tend to use birthdays as a hook on which to hang the get together. Group of 6 friends, each celebrates their birthday means you get to all get together every couple of months. Without a 'reason' it can be easy to drift a bit when you have a larger group of friends, all of whom are busy living different lives.

I like to do something for my birthday every year, and have a big party for the 'zero birthdays'. This isn't because I think my birthday is an important day for anyone, but is because I find time slips away in busy lives, and celebrating everyone in our family's birthdays, sets out several days across the year when people make the effort to get together.

😭😭😭

It’s hard to get everyone together on a specific date so I think you need to be grateful and accept they’re willing to celebrate with you, they just can’t all make that date! Am sure you can do something fun on the actual day?