DH takes the best of everything

[Floranan]

It really p me off, he always gets in first with food / drink takes the best for himself always. Buy doughnuts leave them on the side, he doesn’t think “ oh she loves the apple one or DGD loves the pink one so I’ll leave them and have the chocolate one” oh no if the apple of pink one looks best he takes it. I know that’s a silly example but you get the idea.

today I served dinner. On a Sunday we always eat as a family at the table and I put the food out in serving bowls. I think I should do a diagram people are going to ask for a diagram. Anyway I sit at the end so I can easily get things and DH one side and dd (adult) sits opposite. DH and DD are very close have the same interests and can talk for hours. I don’t normally mind but today I lost it.

I put the chicken in the middle of the table the potatoes my side of the meat the veg the other, forget the gravy go back to kitchen to get, via back door to let dog in. Get to table and they have served themselves. dd normal size meal fine, DH his plate is over flowing all the breast gone leaving just 1 drum stick and the wings and thighs, I only eat the breast or a little thigh I wouldn’t mind but it was 1.9 kg chicken !. DD passed me some thigh meat, I took some spuds and asked for veg, then asked again, then asked for wine they had wine where was mine. Normally I would make a fuss insist I’m passed stuff but today I just couldn’t be bothered, if they couldn’t see I didn’t have any dinner I just couldn’t be bothered. I cleared the plates away, realised the reason I hadn’t been offered veg was because the pig had but the most of it on his plate only to leave what would have been mine because he was full.

i left them to clear the kitchen (they always do if I cook) though I normally stay and help,

I just feel un important, not noticed, at one time he would have made sure I had the best he would see a lovely slice of meat and put it on my plate. When did that stop ? I missed it happening. I know now and for some time, I seem unimportant to him . I’m in bed with a glass of wine and some spicy tangy wotsits watching call the midwife.

@TimeForATerf so very different to * my DP is like this, but then he’s selfish and self centred.*

You always thought that it was because your DH was “competing” his son… Baby??!! WTAF @lefthandedcat

"I always thought my husband was competing with our son because he does this kind of thing, and always has done since DS was a baby!"

You saw your husband deprive a growing very young child of food necessary for their growth and development and didn't stop him and allowed it to continue??? WTF. That's child abuse.

Hay op how did mondays dinner go, did you make a stand,

He,s a selfish narcissist, i had a pal she would turn up for meets and weekends away with goodies (2 of each one for him,one for her)and he would eat the lot, the relationship never improved he was selfish and uncaring right the way through..

This. Don't be a doormat OP.

He's taking the piss and you need to have words. He would have been giving me veg and some nice meat. And wine.

I just find this very disrespectful.

I feel the same. My DH does this, if we get a takeaway he gets his own stuff out and starts eating it from the wrapping before removing mine or the kids stuff from the bag, he makes himself a cup of tea and then when I complain he says ‘I ASKED YOU’ which he 100% did not. I buy treats for the house and him and my eldest son (10) eat the lot without leaving anything for me. Proper annoying

My son could eat for England and never put on an ounce. About 5'11" and slim. Has slight pot these days (40s) but can still just eat.
As it happens until the menopause I could also eat for England and never put on an ounce. Takes a bit more forethought these days.

To be honest I would have taken some of the food from his plate onto mine to make a point. Even if it caused a row, because no one gets away with this behaviour in our house.
What a dreadful example to set to children.

Urgh - greediness is not an attractive trait.
Why are you with him?

Easy fix, plate your own food up in the kitchen, then take the bowls out for the rest and big your own plate through last. When asked why, tell them.

I would have bloody well said something- why didn’t you say anything to him?

Don't put the food on the table in bowls, dish it up for everyone.
I would also make a point of doing this the first time, pack your plate to the rafters and give them the bare minimum, if and when they complain, this will be your moment and trust me it will be as delicious as your dinner!

He sounds like an inconsiderate ill mannered thoughtless pig. I am sorry but was he dragged up ? I was brought up not to start eating at the table unless everyone was present and ensure everyone is looked after and shares what we have. God this guy gives me the ick just thinking about him

This

Sorry but that’s given me the absolute ick.

My dad used to eat everyone’s favourite flavour of snack first, and leave the ones behind that only he liked so he could eat them at his leisure.

Used to infuriate me

So many men are like this, entitlement and greed seem to be the driving forces. Interesting that this post has 16 pages now of replies and the OP has not returned once. Says it all, I doubt there is a woman alive who hasn't witnessed this type of behaviour in men.

I always say my husband would eat the last rolo. Never occurs to him to share fairly. He will get himself a cup of tea and not make me one. he will start eating before I've even sat down. sometimes it annoys me and sometimes I can ignore it.

Absolutely! 🤢

If you can't loudly tell your DH not to be a greedy bastard, who can you tell?

You need to communicate with him about this, OP. He's clearly not going to work it out for himself

With my kids we do that one slices the contested item and the other gets first choice of the resultant portions- this motivating the slicer to be fair. They are 4 and 8 and it’s a joke now as they grew out of being selfish with cake a year or two ago…

I'd forgotten all about that, @Spaghettihair! 'One cuts, the other chooses'. The trouble with my DC was that neither wanted to do the cutting, so there would be a massive squabble about that instead of who got which piece.

Why don't you just serve it, problem solved, talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, YOU MADE IT, SERVE IT OUT then it's taken out of their hands isnt it!

TLDR but my initial feelings are this is about way more than the Sunday dinner. You need to talk.