GP displaying family photos, children's pictures dedicated to 'daddy' or 'mummy'

[Ilovepastafortea]

I'm lucky in that I've only had 2 miscarriages.

A friend of mine's DIL has now just had her 5th. Friend went to GP with her & was upset to see GP had pictures of their children & pictures obviously done by their children with annotations saying things like 'I love you daddy'.

This is all rather cute & lovely, but my friend thought rather insensitive when her DIL had recently lost a much wanted 5th PG. She also had concerns about women who are seeking fertility treatment - do they really need to be reminded how fertile their GP is?

We had a long discussion: we considered that on the plus side it shows that the GP is a family person with children & the inference is that they understand the problems of having a family. We considered that people who work in banks, in Boots, therapists, the supermarket, the Jobcentre could argue the same point. They don't display their children's photos.

I agree with her, family photos & personal pictures have no place in a GP's consulting room.

So AINBU thinking the family photos have no place in GP consulting rooms?

Afraid I just don't care what overworked GPs display unless it's sexual or violent.
Most posters seem to agree.

Hmm I don’t think this thread is really proof of that. Mumsnet tend to have limited sympathy for this type of sensitivity. I bet if it were a series of trans flags on display the responses would be VERY different 😆

I am GC as they come but I wouldn't recognise a trans flag. I expect there are GP surgery rules about displays?

I don't think MN should apologise for having mums on it, or seeing the world through "mum eyes". But pretty certain the wider public would have the same view.

You are demanding that a person's work environment where they spend, in the case of many GPs, 60 hours a week be "a blank slate, dedicated solely to the patient. Not about the gp’s comfort or wellbeing." That is not professional, that is robotic.

You the patient might spend 10 minutes there every few months/years but the person who spends all day there isn't allowed a nice photo to help them through a stressful day?? I really hope you are never in any sort of management role, you would be the boss from hell.

Lots of assumptions made there and you are detracting from the topic in hand.As a manager I wouldn’t object to it, but what is there should be carefully thought out and not over done. There are also professional boundaries to consider to keep the GP themselves safe. You obviously do not have a background in healthcare to understand the complexities of the patient doctor interface.

YABU - or your friend is.

As PP have said, it's not unreasonable to be upset at reminders of things you can't have/do/might not have/do...

But that is for friend to deal with and come to terms with, not for other people to manage for her.

I will never walk usefully again, will never live without pain, I will almost certainly not see pension age ... if I went around miserable and upset because other people can and will, my life would be infinitely shitter. I cannot expect people around me to edit out the bits of life that they can do, that I can't.

It is totally normal for those with their own office space to have some personal items, family photos, kids drawings etc up!

@Ilovepastaforteahow do you know how fertile the GP is?

Now you're backtracking. Your original post stated the GP's office is "Not about the gp’s comfort or wellbeing." Now suddenly you're expressing concern about the GP's safety, which is very much part of their well-being. So which is it?

What?!

It can be both at the same time. GP’s work with some very complex individuals and should bear that in mind in the environment they keep.

When my son was fighting for his life in PICU, I had to walk through a corridor full of pictures of now healthy children with thank yous for saving their child's life to get to his room.

I could've let the pictures offend me but I read as many as I could and told myself that my son's picture would be on that corridor one day and now it is. The pictures gave me hope and I'm sure it reminds staff working in such a difficult place why they do what they do, especially on days they can't put a child's picture on that wall.

I would desperately love another horse (I no longer have one) and I can be mildly upset by photos of people with their horses and enjoying them. Even someone riding past can make me temporarily sad.

But this is on me absolutely and I have no right to insist that everyone sells their horses (to me) to enable me to feel better.

And yes, I know pregnancy and loss aren't the same thing, but the feeling of sadness and desire to try to control the world around me so as not to feel upset are the same.

Oh for goodness sake. Way to go at dismissing a very painful, long lasting, unrecognised grief. You have absolutely no idea.

I do, actually. Lost two babies. But you just carry on...

In no way is wanting a horse the same as living with infertility.

You and the DiL are being ridiculous.

My GP had to take a call from her child minder during my consultation a few years ago. And go and get her car seat from her car to give to the child minder. I’m sure most mumsnetters would have been horrified by this. I didn’t mind one bit.

Not only has your attempt at humour fallen flat here with this obnoxious comment but it’s missed out the very crux of the matter- the doctor patient dynamic. I do hope you spend more time with horses than humans in future for the sake of us all.

Or someone who has sadly lost their goat.

She’s not joking. Horse people feel intensely about horses.

Don’t be so dismissive. I’m horsey and have suffered infertility. I think the comparison is not a bad one. Maybe it is you who lacks the ability to understand how deep emotional drivers go for other people.

What an unnecessarily unpleasant comment. Just why?

People are driven by different things. Why do you get to gate keep grief?

How do you know?

For this poster it may be exactly the same. And that is why really the OP is a bit unreasonable. People’s deepest, most painful regrets vary from person to person so it is not possible to manage them all.

That wasn’t a joke. My colleague had PTSD after her horse died unexpectedly.

You really need to get some perspective

Infertility does not relate to wanting to buy a horse. Just when you think you’ve seen it all on MN.