51% of men in favour of having weight filters on dating apps

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theres an article in the guardian today following Tinders decision to add in height filters as a premium feature. Quite a few men are upset saying it is going to make dating harder (despite the stats saying many routinely lie about their height anyway).

But what shocked me, was that 51% of men were in favour of a weight filter. Presumably in their heads they all have such great physiques that a weight filter wouldn’t negatively impact their prospects 🤣. But I was genuinely shocked, I really didn’t think the numbers behind weight was a big deal (obviously body type-yes. But not to be able to say she’s over 10stone so that’s a no!)

Totally agree. And a read of the Relationships board proves that being slim doesnt make men treat us any better.

You’d be amazed. My mate is obese and kinky and she gets men half her age queuing up. Men are interesting little weirdos.

I don't see a problem with it. People have preferences. In fact I'm surprised it hasn't been done a long time ago.

This. Sorry but I don't see why it's a problem. If someone wouldn't go up to someone in a bar/club because they're not attracted to certain weights, why shouldn't they be allowed to filter online in the same way?

You can't make people be attracted to people they're not attracted to. Equal opportunities doesn't really exist in attraction.

Maybe, but if you are right that the weight option is of only marginal use then I still think it’s the unlikely to be of greater use to women than to men.

I wouldn't mind a weight filter. I am "curvier" (or at least have been a lot of my life) and when I was online dating I made sure that was really clear as I wanted to meet someone that thought my body shape was sexy, and I did.

Only if they have to fill out the weight filter as well.

I'm always amazed at the sheer number of fat, untoned men feeling entitled to date only slim model-quality looking women

No-one should feel entitled to date anyone else, and thus no one should feel entitled to date someone ‘out of their league’.

But women are much more selective than men in who they swipe right on. Women something like 10%, vs 60% for men, if my memory serves me.

I suspect that many of the people saying it's fine would be quite irritated if when it's set up, they find that they're being filtered out because a lot of men have put a maximum weight of 105lb.

Its fine. Better than going to the effort and meeting up then realising it was a waste of time because the other party had specific preferences.

A weight filter won't mean that much though on its own.

For example, being 11st stone will be a world of difference if you are 4'11 or 5'11.

Two women the same height could be very different weights and not be "overweight" (taking a wild guess that's the reason behind it) depending on their muscle mass.

Back in the days when I went to the gym, I was at least a stone heavier, than now, but I was certainly less jiggly in places and my waist trimmer. 🤷‍♀️

Thing is, you can't make people date people they don't fancy, and you can't make them fancy people on grounds of inclusion.

"Do you dislike short men?"

"No, not at all."

"Do you think that short men are somehow inferior and deserve reduced access to opportunity?"

"Absolutely not."

"Do you think short men are physically repulsive?"

"Nope."

"Do you fancy short men?"

"It's more that I fancy tall men."

"You ought to fancy short men! You're discriminating against them on grounds of height!"

"Sorry. I'll certainly go out of my way to have sex with some short men to even things up a bit. I'm so sorry..."

Doesn't work, does it? Physical appearance is - you ready for this? - a huge part of physical attraction. So the filters in the app are just saving time - because people are filtering anyway, in line with their preferences.

How would a weight filter work though? 10 stone at 5ft looks different to 10 stone at 5ft 10..

If women have physical preferences, men can have physical preferences. I don't think the average person will have a clue what 10 stone or 8 stone mean in practice but i think it's fine as a filter.

This is unnecessary and nasty. Grow up. You sound like a playground bully

Men in the UK are more likely to be overweight than women. And there are more men than women on dating apps. And women tend to be picker than men when it comes to OLD. I don’t think women would be the ones who would be disadvantaged by a weight filter!

I think preferences (physical and otherwise) are a good thing- I want my partner to fancy me, not just tolerate me!- but I hated using dating apps. They seemed so clinical and encouraging of shallowness.

I wouldn't fancy a short fat man so it would be a waste of both our time to get as far as a date. Seems perfectly sensible to be able to filter according to preferences. I wouldn't date a smoker or anyone with children. I was dating before online was a thing. I joined a dating agency . You had to go for an interview and they measured your height so if a profile said a man was 6' then he was. There were figure categories too ..slim, medium build, big build(fat). You could specify professional career, degree, etc. Far better than wasting everyone's time

The thing is applying unrealistic filters just results in an "arms race".

Women unrealistically prefer taller men, so mens reaction to that is to lie about their height in the hope of managing their expectations down on meeting into some sort of reality.

Women do the same with ages and photos.

And it largely works. Otherwise the 20% of size 8s and the 20% of 6ft+ would be the only people getting together.

I don't think a weight filter that uses numbers is necessarily a good idea because, as other people have pointed out, people are not great at estimating weight. Coincidentally I was watching a TikTok last night with a nutritionist who is a black woman and she said "why do white women all think they need to weigh 120 lb; when did you all decide that that was the correct weight for you?" Reddit in particular is rife with men saying that the ideal woman is something like 5'9 and 110 lb with double D cup breasts, when in reality a woman with those proportions would probably tip over.

I have seen apps where you can choose from a category like thin, or athletic, or a little bit overweight, that sort of thing and I think that might be a better option. But regardless I would much rather someone reject me in the app and me not know about it versus meeting me face to face and rejecting me.

When men find out they filter out 90% of women and 100% of women who will consider them, they’ll adjust their filters.

As an overweight woman i can use societys prejudice to hide what i am up to. People would probably look at me and never guess or suspect what i am doing due to their own prejudices. I now think its brilliant. Im not on a dating app but i do have an OM. Which will never even cross ppls minds due to my weight. Fab!! 😊

I don’t think women in the real world are that obsessed with height. I suspect a most would like a man who is taller than them, but the average height of a British woman is 5’3/5’4, so that covers most men. OLD has made it a ‘thing’ that men must be 6’0 to be attractive.

And they really don’t understand that a double d is relative to the number that comes before it, and doesn’t necessarily mean massive tits.

I think that's true and I also think that that is something that the "manosphere" and incels have told themselves. Being 5'9", I would like to date a man who is taller than I am but I'm perfectly happy today to man who's 5'10". I don't want him to be a giant I just want him to be a little taller. And I fully recognize that that is because I am self-conscious about my height and I always have been. I know that means that I'll miss out on some great guys but that's something that I have to accept.

Exactly.