51% of men in favour of having weight filters on dating apps

[Toilichte]

theres an article in the guardian today following Tinders decision to add in height filters as a premium feature. Quite a few men are upset saying it is going to make dating harder (despite the stats saying many routinely lie about their height anyway).

But what shocked me, was that 51% of men were in favour of a weight filter. Presumably in their heads they all have such great physiques that a weight filter wouldn’t negatively impact their prospects 🤣. But I was genuinely shocked, I really didn’t think the numbers behind weight was a big deal (obviously body type-yes. But not to be able to say she’s over 10stone so that’s a no!)

I mean I'm under 40 and 9st7lbs and i look like a wet sack of spuds from morrisons so its not really a good indication of a banging body 🤣

I wouldn't date someone who was overweight.

I keep myself in tip top condition. Why would I date someone who doesn't.

But I wouldn't know how to apply a 'weight' filter, as a big man can weigh 16 stone and be in good shape.

I mean, definitely yes to that! 🤣 It just read a bit oddly, like the pp was affronted by not being able to choose those things all the time!

Being selective on dating sites isn’t some peculiarly male attitude problem. Women are hugely more selective than men (women’s swipes/contacts are much more heavily concentrated on the top few % of men than the reverse). That’s fine. It’s unfortunate for men outside that range but no woman owes herself to a man to make the numbers more even.

My guess is that a weight filter might actually be more useful to men and a height one to women, because of differences in what each value more, so the men might not actually be deluded about how it affects them (or maybe they just appreciate an efficient matching algorithm!).

51% of men from what sample size? And where did they find the men?

In isolation, 51% doesn't tell us much, other than "slightly more than half of those involved".

Totally agree that people can misjudge what weight actually translates to in body shape. I’m about a stone heavier than you, much taller than the average woman, and have an ‘athletic’ build. I exercise a lot (including intensively), do running and swimming endurance events, generally eat well and wear a size 10. I am, however, on the borderline of/sometimes edge into being ‘overweight’ according to BMI, though all my other measures (body fat etc) are within ‘healthy’ ranges. Two points - first, people are often surprised that I weigh ‘so much’ and I do think there’s a cultural idea of certain lower weights being normal and natural for women. Second, if I was on a dating site and men were filtering by weight, I reckon I’d be filtered out by a lot of men!!

I assume the weight filter would apply to men as well as women? There is a higher percentage of overweight/obese men in the population!

this is one of my points i suppose. That such a large proportion don’t seem to think that they would be disadvantaged by this filter too!!

Yes of course it would.

There is a higher percentage of overweight men in the UK

And a (marginally) higher percentage of obese women.

Voting for a filter doesn't mean they feel they wouldn't be disadvantaged.

Like the majority of people on this thread, they probably feel that honesty is best when it comes to dating.

OLD can be quite time consuming so it's a good idea to weed out the more unsuitable ones, before actually meeting up.

And that applies to both sexes.

As a fat woman I don’t want to date a man who finds my size unattractive.

We all have our preferences and that’s fine IMO.

It's an extension of the idea that searching for a partner is basically the same as shopping for a jumper. You input your preferences (colour, size, condition), and the algorithm duly delivers a list of possibilities for you to choose from. All messy human contact neatly stripped out of the process.

Consumer capitalism at its finest!

I think it’s sad as my son is 5 ft 6 so I worry about him being able to find a partner in the future even though he is the kindest, funniest, cleverest person I know.
So I feel sad for him that I know many people won’t date him due to his height. (He may still grow a bit but I doubt it unfortunately).

At the same time I understand people are allowed preferences and I was told once that someone thought I was a lovely person but he wouldnt date me as I worked shifts and had children. 1 or other he would have been ok with but both was too much. His choice.

In terms of weight surely people can just lie. Also people change! I have put on weight since being with my partner of 4 years. He has said he prefers the curves. Who knows if that is the case. If he put on weight I wouldn’t mind unless it was putting his health at risk.

The majority of women are overweight anyway, you only need walk down the high street to see it. It's a shame the majority don't take such good care of ourselves any more.

True but there are still more overweight men in the UK.

It doesn’t really matter how many men and women are overweight/obese in the UK.

What matters is how many of them are registered for online dating.

Let them have a weight filter if they want one. It will save anyone larger than a size 10 from shallow time-wasters.

I think it is silly to set an arbitary number as a cut-off. By saying "no men under 6ft" you're excluding someone 5ft 11in who would have been perfect for you. The same works for weight. I can see why someone might find a morbidly obese person unattractive but setting an arbitary number as a cut-off will exclude people on the border of that who they'd have been attracted to in real life (you know, where numbers don't actually matter).

Online dating is far too superficial anyway. You swipe past profiles in seconds with no opportunity to see if there might be any chemistry.

If they're going to add any extra filters, I'd like to be able to exclude those who already have kids of their own. Unlike arbitary numbers like weights and heights, this is something that has practical implications.

If they're too dumb to realise that weight distribution is different depending on other factors then that's their problem and they are only limiting themselves. I dont think many women would want to date these men anyway, so women are not missing out.

I think the main motivation for the 51% is that they're salty about men doing so poorly on dating apps (some self inflicted, some due to the design and some because of looks). They've been on manosphere and think this is the best way to stick it to women.

True and none of us know the answer.

Or like the majority of women on this thread, they're not really attracted to fat people when choosing who to initially date.

I would date a short man, but not an obese man (a bit overweight would be fine). If someone was obese it would directly affect me as regards what activities we could do, plus they’d likely be unhealthy.

That is too. And I have nothing against adding height and weight filters. But quite often this weight requirement is a response (online) to something to do with mens height. And both of the requirements seem to be more of an online thing than real life thing.

I think a BMI filter would be useful for men and women.

Aw let ‘em have it. Weeds out all the shallow wankers.