51% of men in favour of having weight filters on dating apps

[Toilichte]

theres an article in the guardian today following Tinders decision to add in height filters as a premium feature. Quite a few men are upset saying it is going to make dating harder (despite the stats saying many routinely lie about their height anyway).

But what shocked me, was that 51% of men were in favour of a weight filter. Presumably in their heads they all have such great physiques that a weight filter wouldn’t negatively impact their prospects 🤣. But I was genuinely shocked, I really didn’t think the numbers behind weight was a big deal (obviously body type-yes. But not to be able to say she’s over 10stone so that’s a no!)

I'd just like filters to be enforceable tbh

I'd like a guy that's not trying to cheat on his wife and family, doesn't lie about his intentions, doesn't lie about his bedroom abilities, doesn't lie about his age, doesn't lie about his height.. the list goes on

Luckily im not on the dating scene any more.

Give them their filter. I'm 9 stone.
Honest guv. 😉

This is because some women use angles, filters, pose carefully etc, and the guy turns up to see the woman looks nothing like her photos and if they had met organically she wouldn’t have been someone he was interested in.

Same as height. If you are after someone two inches taller than yourself, then you turn up to find he’s six inches shorter or a foot taller, you wouldn’t be very happy.

The only problem is that a lot of people can’t judge what a specific weight looks like. 5’ 5” and 13 stone? You can google it but everyone ‘wears’ their weight differently. If people were honest, and had full length honest (ie no special posing) photos then this wouldn’t be an issue.

The only issue with it is that, as a numerical value, weight is not that accurate to body shape.

But there’s nothing wrong with people wanting to filter out based on what someone looks like, surely? That’s the whole point of online dating. You either like what you see, or you don’t 🤷‍♀️

I bet it's the same the other way round. I personally wouldn't want to date someone obese. I equally wouldn't want to date someone who only wanted to date a slim woman (I'm not, bit of a tum).
Height probably wouldn't bother me but DH is 6'4" so would be different. Not that I'm looking anyway!

Flip it round, who wants a short fat woman, would it be okay to say that?
Dating sites are grim at the best of times, so many men think they are god's gift in every day life and behind a keyboard probably worse.
Thankful I've been married so many years I don't have this, but if I was single, I'd stay single or find another woman for a relationship.

God, if I was on dating apps id be needing to change my weight almost daily 😄

There’s a website somewhere where people upload their height, weight and a full length photo. Then you search your own height and weight (or desired weight) and see what it looks like. Or scroll through in weight order to say ‘I want to look like these women so that is my target weight.’

Flip it round, who wants a short fat woman, would it be okay to say that?

Yes

This is because some women use angles, filters, pose carefully etc, and the guy turns up to see the woman looks nothing like her photos and if they had met organically she wouldn’t have been someone he was interested in.

Oh my god the fucking filters. Not as a date but I was absolutely confused when I had a meeting with someone in work capacity for the first time f2f and she looked NOTHING like her picture. Passed her when walking into the cafe, sat down, so she had to come up to me.

Yes, it's fine to say that.

No, it’s not okay to say either of these things in real life, but it doesn’t stop it from being some people’s personal preference.

And that’s fine.

It’s all absolutely fine, because surely, and thankfully, people are allowed to date whoever they want to and for whatever reason they want. If you don’t want to date a person who is 5.8 or a person who is over ten stone - then that it entirely your choice. It’s super weird that people think that others aren’t allowed their own dating preferences

I don’t see anything wrong with it, as people have said everyone has a type. As a tall woman I would be in favour of filtering by height if I used those sites.

The only issue I see with that is lots of men have no concept of what women actually weigh. I’ve lost count of the amount of TikTok’s I’ve seen by men saying they wouldn’t date a woman over 8 stone as anyone above that is fat. They have been rightfully ripped in the comments. My ex refused to believe I’m 10.7stone because “that’s heavy”! I’m a size 8.

But then at least it would filter out the idiots.

What ultimately makes someone genuinely attractive is their personality and how they make other people feel about themselves in their presence. Would love to see how tinder is helping people filter for that 😁

That's true. It's a double whammy really.

but this is 51% of men who use Tinder, not 51% of men

This is what confuses me also lol. I’ve noticed it almost always the women where I’ve worked alongside many intelligent capable women and for some reason their profile pic is almost always from 10-20 years ago. So I’m now thinking people are just putting up a photo they like the best as opposed to a recognisable one. I feel maybe in the future, work for security may insist on a shorter timeframe as it is very confusing when you have to meet face to face for work stuff!

Everyone has their own idea about what attracts them. As I said up thread, I'm very much married and each to their own.
People will always fat shame.

I think people should be able to specify their preference for body type, using the apps filters. Doesn't bother me at all.

It shouldn't be done in a dickish way though, or as to make women feel bad about themselves, which is where the problems come in

*Having a body type/height preference - fine

Insulting and shaming people for their body types and loudly proclaiming you wouldn't date someone of a particular size/height - twattish and nasty*

So what tho - I absolutely welcome it - I wouldn’t find someone that’s overweight attractive myself so why would not filter that out? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Flip it round, who wants a short fat woman, would it be okay to say that?

OF COURSE it’s fine to not want to date a short fat woman if you don’t want to. I am concerned that this will be the next level of batshittery the world will have to endure - once people get bored of men can be women if they feel like it- that it will be discrimination to not date who you want.

But fat shaming is not the same as not being attracted to someone who is fat.

@Toilichte why are you shocked? Surely women can filter out men weightwise as well.

I don't find overweight men attractive.

I don't know why you're shocked?

Dating apps are quite literally online shopping tools for potential partners.

There is a difference between a height and weight filter. We’re all pretty good at estimating someone’s height, but not their weight, so it makes sense to know what height you’d be looking for in a person. And a photo would tell you whether you find their body attractive, you don’t need to know their weight, but a photo can’t tell you how tall someone is. So basically it makes sense to measure height in numbers, but not body type. It’s equally as acceptable to decide whether you want to date someone based on their height or body type, it’s just that a numeric threshold only makes sense for one of them.