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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no to a Skiing Trip with the school?

227 replies

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/06/2025 23:14

So when my son was 12, he was invited to go on a Skiing trip with his school. The total cost was £3000… this didn’t include spending money or equipment hire; and extras we needed to buy before going. Me and my husband (not my sons father) said no; as we couldn’t afford it. My sons now 18, and no it’s never effected his life.

my stepdaughter is now 12 and now has had the same letter from her school. £3500. Automatically I’ve said no, as we can’t afford (£1500 odd quid) it.

Shes shown no interest in Skiing ever and why should the children be treated differently?

anyway, know this is going to be a huge row. Husband is saying “maybe, we will see” which to me is giving her false hope, when he should be saying no, regardless of if she gets upset. Because he KNOWS we can’t afford it.

there loads of other cheaper trips she can go on…. Germany, Milan etc, but the skiing trip is just out of our budget.

i don’t think schools should be allowed to do these expensive trips either! Only the rich kids get to go 🙄

anyway….. am I being the AH here?

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 21/06/2025 23:19

Of course you aren't.

The only reason it would be different is if your financial circumstances were massively different now.
I'm presuming they aren't as you have said you can't afford it.

That is a ridiculous amount even for a ski trip. She'll live.

MamaInManolos · 21/06/2025 23:21

It's that much as it's paying for the teachers to go too! Thats what i got told 😵‍💫🤯😫, doesn't seem fair and is very expensive for one trip. I did 2 of these school ski trips back in the 90s, cost then was £1k each, so much money for my parents..! Didn't include spending, special ski clothing etc. Did it change my life..no but have fond, funny memories yes, but could have gone without definitely, and been none the wiser...

Landlubber2019 · 21/06/2025 23:23

Tbh we paid for our son to ski with school. Although the trip is £3500 you can easily spend £000 more of clothing..... It was hideously expensive!

BadLad · 21/06/2025 23:28

MamaInManolos · 21/06/2025 23:21

It's that much as it's paying for the teachers to go too! Thats what i got told 😵‍💫🤯😫, doesn't seem fair and is very expensive for one trip. I did 2 of these school ski trips back in the 90s, cost then was £1k each, so much money for my parents..! Didn't include spending, special ski clothing etc. Did it change my life..no but have fond, funny memories yes, but could have gone without definitely, and been none the wiser...

Edited

What’s wrong with that? The parents of the children going on the skiing trip cover the costs of s supervised skiing trip. Who else would pay for the teachers to go?

ETA - I replied before you added all the text after your emojis. But the point stands - the teachers are working long hours, supervising the children. They can’t be expected to pay for their own trip, or they may as well just organize their own trip and enjoy skiing without having the look after a group of pupils.

Fiver555 · 21/06/2025 23:32

Two local state schools round here do ski trips - cost is £1500 per child. Not sure why yours is so over-priced? I would be tackling the school. Not fair that only rich kids can go.

gsiftpoffu · 21/06/2025 23:34

MamaInManolos · 21/06/2025 23:21

It's that much as it's paying for the teachers to go too! Thats what i got told 😵‍💫🤯😫, doesn't seem fair and is very expensive for one trip. I did 2 of these school ski trips back in the 90s, cost then was £1k each, so much money for my parents..! Didn't include spending, special ski clothing etc. Did it change my life..no but have fond, funny memories yes, but could have gone without definitely, and been none the wiser...

Edited

The teachers are there to supervise the children. They aren't on a jolly. Teachers are giving up their own holiday time to go and it's very stressful being responsible for children on a school trip like that.

Skiing has become very expensive. Ski hire and lift passes and lessons all cost a lot of money. Then there's transport, accommodation costs and all meals.

A ski pass for a week could be nearly 500 Euros depending on where you are going. Smaller resorts would be cheaper.

GinAndJuice99 · 21/06/2025 23:35

Ours was £1250 inc ski hire. Still a lot of money I know. Your school's must be very fancy!

Neodymium · 21/06/2025 23:39

that is alot for a ski trip. If you can’t afford it then she can’t go. He sounds like he doesn’t want to disappoint her.

NCfor24 · 21/06/2025 23:39

Our local school's ski trip is £2.5k because they're going to the USA. No idea why the school can't choose France or Italy etc. It's ridiculous, and it's a big, standard, not-remotely-posh school and isn't even in an especially nice area.

Pomegranatecarnage · 21/06/2025 23:40

That’s very expensive for presumably about a week-the last ski trip my kid’s school ran was about £2000 (mine didn’t go).

NCfor24 · 21/06/2025 23:40

Anyway, no is the fairest answer. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 21/06/2025 23:41

I loved going skiing as a child. It's been downhill ever since.

throwawaynametoday · 21/06/2025 23:41

That is an absurd amount for a ski trip. The ski trip at our DC's school is £1600 this year, up from about £1200 two years ago.

£1600 is still a lot of money of course, and is unaffordable for many. But £3500!!!?

EnglishGirlApproximately · 21/06/2025 23:43

That's a crazy amount, ours is £1300 to Italy. DS went this year and will go again next year but at £3500 I would have said no as that's creeping into family holiday costs. Regardless, if it's no then it's no - giving false hope won't end well.

Michele09 · 21/06/2025 23:45

The difference might be whether it's by coach or flying.

Devianinc · 21/06/2025 23:48

Neodymium · 21/06/2025 23:39

that is alot for a ski trip. If you can’t afford it then she can’t go. He sounds like he doesn’t want to disappoint her.

Yeah, but what about the disappointment to her child. It’s not fair and now it’s more expensive so I would say no. His little girl isn’t better than your kid. Tough luck. He should have been more generous to yours.

justasking111 · 21/06/2025 23:53

Five years ago DS had his last ski trip February half term flying to Italy for a week. Was £1200, £3k is ridiculous.

Delphiniumandlupins · 21/06/2025 23:56

The answer is no because it's not affordable. Nothing to do with your DS not going on a similar trip, they have different parents.

ButteredRadish · 21/06/2025 23:59

There is absolutely zero need for teenagers to go bloody skiing! It’s just yet another way for schools to separate the haves from the have-nots. They love doing that.

FionnulaTheCooler · 22/06/2025 00:05

YANBU. Why do schools even do skiing, what educational value does it have that justifies a week missing lessons? DD's friend went earlier this year and it sounds like they spent most of their time at the shopping mall (Canada).

Crispynoodle · 22/06/2025 00:08

We said no to our DD as it was cheaper for all of us to go somewhere warm! 12 years later and her DP is a skier and she’s had 10 years of going every year. She enjoys it to some extent but says it’s like doing leg day at the gym every single day!

Original poster
Lollylucyclark101 · 22/06/2025 00:09

OUR finances have everything to do with her going on a skiing trip.

same as OUR finances had everything with my son not going in his skiing trip. 🙄.

if mom wants her to go, that’s her decision. We won’t be paying for it.

OP posts:
xyzandabc · 22/06/2025 00:13

That is an excessive amount for a ski trip. Dd went on school ski trip 2 years ago £950, coach to Italy. Ds is going next year, coach to Austria, different school, that is £1380. Both included everything except clothing.

Both also during Feb half term or Easter holiday so neither missing any school for it.

ClareBlue · 22/06/2025 00:13

ButteredRadish · 21/06/2025 23:59

There is absolutely zero need for teenagers to go bloody skiing! It’s just yet another way for schools to separate the haves from the have-nots. They love doing that.

This
Schools absolutely know that 3.5K is out
of the reach of some of their student families. So they create obvious division in student dynamics because the haves and have nots are identified, they create extreme financial pressure on families who can just scrape it together to protect their child from being a have not, fall outs in families where children can not go, where other holidays or family outings are put on hold disadvantaging siblings, fall out between parents (as per this thread) about family expenditure and priorities. Just to experience skiing. Children that are going to ski as a leisure option go privately with their family.
I did it at 12 in my school and that was a top public fee paying school and it still caused these issues as some were there on bursary etc. It wasn't that great either.

BoredZelda · 22/06/2025 00:15

Lollylucyclark101 · 22/06/2025 00:09

OUR finances have everything to do with her going on a skiing trip.

same as OUR finances had everything with my son not going in his skiing trip. 🙄.

if mom wants her to go, that’s her decision. We won’t be paying for it.

If your husband allows her to go, he should also be paying towards it. The fact your family finances don’t stretch to it is neither here nor there. You can ask that YOUR money doesn’t go towards it, you can’t stop him from paying for his child to go on a school trip.