AIBU to say no to a Skiing Trip with the school?

[Lollylucyclark101]

So when my son was 12, he was invited to go on a Skiing trip with his school. The total cost was £3000… this didn’t include spending money or equipment hire; and extras we needed to buy before going. Me and my husband (not my sons father) said no; as we couldn’t afford it. My sons now 18, and no it’s never effected his life.

my stepdaughter is now 12 and now has had the same letter from her school. £3500. Automatically I’ve said no, as we can’t afford (£1500 odd quid) it.

Shes shown no interest in Skiing ever and why should the children be treated differently?

anyway, know this is going to be a huge row. Husband is saying “maybe, we will see” which to me is giving her false hope, when he should be saying no, regardless of if she gets upset. Because he KNOWS we can’t afford it.

there loads of other cheaper trips she can go on…. Germany, Milan etc, but the skiing trip is just out of our budget.

i don’t think schools should be allowed to do these expensive trips either! Only the rich kids get to go 🙄

anyway….. am I being the AH here?

School trips in state schools should be a maximum of £1500 with a full year to pay. This seems to be more and more of a thing lately (looking at the school down the road now only offering abroad trips to students around 3/4k a pop- the last one 3.5k with three months to pay in full. All whilst getting rid of the cheaper full year trips to France, areas of the UK etc). Something is very murky about the rise of these international essential trips in schools and I think we need to be looking closely at where the money is going.

OP said that she is the slightly higher earner.

Treating siblings or step siblings fairly does not necessarily mean treating them exactly the same. In this instance, it is the same because the trip is the same; therefore if the household couldn’t meet the cost for one child, it can’t meet the cost for the other. The difference is that, for the first child, there was one family unit. For the second there are two. If one family unit can’t afford it, then ask the other. If they can’t afford it, that’s the end of the debate. If the daughter’s mother and stepfather can pay, she can go and OP’s son is not being treated unfairly. If they can’t or won’t, she’s not going. Of course, they might suggest splitting costs and then it becomes tricky.

But again that was for the full amount of £3k, which would come entirely from your household as your DS doesn’t see his dad.

for DSD it’s half the £ as she has another parent.

im not saying you should let her go if finances are tight. But pointing out it’s not the same situation that you had for your DS (despite it being your DH who said no).

Similar with a trip to New York that my DDs school ran. They wanted £1500 for 5 days. Went as a family ( 3 of us) for £2k flights accomodation and New York pass.

Some of these post read like you think schools are ripping parents off and skimming profits. They really aren't and can't. We use travel companies for logistical reasons so there will be a mark up for their operating costs and profit obviously. Trips cost what they cost. Ive put together many and then decided not to offer them as it's too much and others have gone ahead if we get enough up take. We don't always. "Schools" are run by real people with their own kids and are well aware of how expensive the trips are.

I don’t think- I know. Most will be operating above board exactly how you have explained, but for some these trips are doing exactly what you say they are not. It’s unbelievable.

True only 1500 would come out of your family funds not 3k.
In any case 3k for a 5 day school ski trip is not normal. They are usually around 1500.

yANBU

Your husband is being very cruel to keep saying “we’ll see” if your DSD isn’t going to go. You need to sit down and tell him this. Can he afford to pay using non family money? Can he get overtime at work? If no, then he needs to be honest with his DD.

Id love to know how you know that for so sure. School accounts get audited. If there's actual fraud going on, have you reported it?

Sorry if this has been covered, is this a state school?

If you read the full quote it was the contribution for the teacher of £100 per student not the student cost of £3000.

I don't understand why so many people are struggling to understand the concept of your finances being a shared effort, and that you BOTH made the decision with regards to your son going on this trip, and that the same applies this time around. It's not that difficult to understand!!

"Usually"? they are a lot more than that, and not just for skiing.

CCF trips are cheaper because the army subsidises the cost. Everything else is no longer cheaper than it would be on a family holiday because of the insurance and staffing expectations (plus a little bit due to the need for kids to be entertained and supervised 24/7 rather than being expected to entertain themselves and be back by 11!) In the past, school trips were only held to the same standard as a family holiday - with occasionally tragic consequences - and now the risks are better understood (and there’s the high likelihood of being successfully sued) so the costs go up. Similar to the reasons why childcare costs so much more now than they did 25+ years ago - it’s no longer ok for Barbara from down the street to look after some kids in the village hall for a few quid an hour each.

You were lucky with the weather. That's the issue with Aviemore, the weather, the venicular with constantly breaks. The last decent snow fall was 2021, and the Scottish Government shut the slopes.

Every year I watch the Scottish resorts for snow fall and the last few have been rotten.

For people in the south of England you'd be better going to Andorra.

DD went in feb, Monday to Sunday for £1550, everything included.

Price of ski trips can vary wildly over when they are. If a school is willing to take kids during term time then they can fracture the costs.
Everyone wants to go February half term, better light than beginning of January, good fresh snow. And that reflects wildly on the price.

Easter, end of March snow isn't quite as nice. But they know people want to go so your still paying a premium.

A bit like trying to go anywhere during the October week. Your paying through the nose for it

She said no to her child too which is in half the ops posts so it is weird to write something as completely wrong as ‘it’s not fair for you to say no because it’s not your child.’

There are a few posts like this which sound completely confident the mum would pay half. There’s no indication this would happen.

What is DSD mum saying? Can she foot any of the bill?

@Lollylucyclark101you don’t seem to be interested in anyone else’s views so not sure why you asked if yoh were being unreasonable because you don’t care what anyone else thinks.
The situation is not the same as it was for your DS as you and your DH had to pay for everything due to father being absent. But in your SD case, you only have to pay half. Maybe even that is a stretch but the situations are different.

You could always take him yourself? Or teachers could pay for their own holiday, and all the parents could pay the teachers their professional salary pro-rata to babysit your children for the week they are out there? Including nights and transport care?

Ski Operators offer one adult place for every 10 children going.

3k for a ski trip?! Where on earth are they going?? Canada?!

I agree with this.
I’ve assisted with 4 ski trips in a comp - one last half term came in at £1.2k per child. European resort, great skiing. Speak to the school, it’s not very inclusive.

That’s fair but OP hasn’t said either way if Mum is willing to pay nothing or half or full amount. I was merely pointing out there is likely to be a difference in payments from when it was her DS vs DSD as she has two active parents where as her DS only has one active parent.

if mum isn’t willing to pay half then fair enough it’s a moot point.

to note I wouldnt pay that for a school ski trip either but just pointing out the differences in circumstances.

I have not let mine go. Cost aside, I went on two ski trips as a staff member. Both times the ski school instructors lost a kid on the mountain.