AIBU to say no to a Skiing Trip with the school?

[Lollylucyclark101]

So when my son was 12, he was invited to go on a Skiing trip with his school. The total cost was £3000… this didn’t include spending money or equipment hire; and extras we needed to buy before going. Me and my husband (not my sons father) said no; as we couldn’t afford it. My sons now 18, and no it’s never effected his life.

my stepdaughter is now 12 and now has had the same letter from her school. £3500. Automatically I’ve said no, as we can’t afford (£1500 odd quid) it.

Shes shown no interest in Skiing ever and why should the children be treated differently?

anyway, know this is going to be a huge row. Husband is saying “maybe, we will see” which to me is giving her false hope, when he should be saying no, regardless of if she gets upset. Because he KNOWS we can’t afford it.

there loads of other cheaper trips she can go on…. Germany, Milan etc, but the skiing trip is just out of our budget.

i don’t think schools should be allowed to do these expensive trips either! Only the rich kids get to go 🙄

anyway….. am I being the AH here?

Yanbu. My dc school offer a ski trip each year but the head teacher always says they offer lots of trips but nobody should feel like they have to send their children and the aim is that everyone gets to go on at least one residential trip. My dc have all been on the year 7 camp, ds1 did 3 days in London and ds2 did year 10 camp. They have all done all the day trips I think.

Not all children have the option to skiing as a family. DD1 is disabled which means going skiing as a family would be extremely difficult so if DD2 (she's only a toddler now though) wants to go skiing I would pay but maybe not at 3.5k because I agree that it is ludicrous, where is it Canada?!

I also did the ski trip, and I gained a lot of confidence and it was a new experience.

It's a lot. I can understand why - (if you factor in ski passes, accom in ski resorts, equipment hire and tuition, it is already a fortune per day, and then to have teachers supervise them (fair enough - who would want to?)) then yes, big prices are to be expected. And the ski gear is on top, and not many resorts are snow sure these days, some people don't even take to it. If you haven't the money, and your son also did without the trip, then I would say your SD the same. Being able to ski is brilliant, being able to take your kids ski-ing is brilliant, but you hemorrhage money from the moment you step into a ski resort. And, if they think they really want to do it, they will, but later in life, if it is important to them. I absolutely love skiing, but you are not being unreasonable, and it should be a hard no with no doubt or chance to reconsider, she will move on quickly, and there are plenty of parents who won't be affording the trip.

Our skiing trips were in Feb half term whereas educational trips were in term time.

Do you expect teachers to spend their own money to look after your children?

Yay, that’s what I mean. If it’s not good for yours it’s not good for his. Fair is fair.

£3500 does seem expensive. Are they flying?

Our school do one, they inform us before they start school and we roughly had 2 years to pay for the trip - around £1200. We asked grandparents to pay towards and Christmas/birthday presents were ski socks and other essentials. A huge number of children from the year go and we advised to not spend stupid money on equipment. majority turned up in decathlon branded ski jackets!. They travel the huge distance by coach to try keep costs down,

We as a family would never be able to afford to go so it’s nice for us to give her the Opportunity to try skiing.

Being the AH? This isn't Reddit.
However you are not being unreasonable.
It should have been a straight no if that is what happened with your DS.

YANBU to say no to this particular trip, for yor particular child.
YABU to say with apparently a completele lack of irony or empathy that the school "shouldn't be allowed" to run trips that are too expensive for you, while suggesting sending dsd to one of the other slightly cheaper trips - because it doesn't matter that lots of kids might not be able to afford that (or be unable to go for various other reasons) either!

So it's only not fair when your dc are the ones negatively affected!

Either accept the school can run any trips at a variety of budgets as long as they can fill the spaces, or they shouldn't be allowed to run any extrs-curricular trips at all.

That is a ridiculous amount of money. My son’s Ski trip cost £1600 and included passes and equipment hire. Probably spent another £400 on top on Ski lessons beforehand and clothes, jacket, pants etc.

My son said it was the best holiday ever however he wouldn’t have gone if it was £3500 as there is no way I would have been able to afford that as a single parent.

Personally I think these experiences are great for kids. But… of course you’re not unreasonable to say no as we can’t afford to. And I agree that saying maybe we will see is a bit mean because it does give them hope. Just sit down with your child and be honest.

Also for those who are saying 3500k is expensive - it really depends where they are going. And what is included. I would assume it is included of insurance which is quite costly to cover.

There’s no point her going skiing if she can’t ski. Lessons are hundreds of pounds.

Also just for info - this is not the case at all. There are kids of all abilities and they group them according to their ability to ski and teach them. That’s how I learned, how my husband learned and how my eldest learned as well.

Wow that’s a ridiculous amount of more money to pay for a skiing trip for a child.

YANBU - and what a ridiculous amount of money to ask for a ski trip. Where on earth are they going??

He wont agree for her to go. That’s partly my point. Hes saying maybe, but ultimately the answer will be no.

she likes to cry, to manipulate him into getting what she wants.

we aren’t “poor”… we have 2 cars and she loans a horse for £150 a month!

as a married couple, whose household income is joint, any financial decisions are JOINT. So regardless of his income/my income (because I do work ft), there is no point in saying “my money is not to be used” because our household income is joint.

A£3.5k school trip is inappropriate. A £350 school trip is reasonable. Many parents who are unable to work or have a low income pay less anyway, much to the irritation of full paying parents who are funding the rest of the trip!

I don’t have to worry about other children, their finances etc. just my own.

If she wants to ski when she’s older and paying for, that’s fine.

One answer to that could be your in the south and they use bus rather than flying?
Although I can hardly work out how they are able to do it so cheap, Are they using youth hostels or something?

Even on a budget family ski trip (yes schools ski trip gave me the bug) we are £230 for ski lessons, £70 for equipment hire, £170 for lift pass. So that's £470, We fly so your another £300 on flights plus transfers to and from the airport. Ski transfers tend to be 2-3 hours you don't built airports in the mountains.

Then add accommodation and food. And share of the staff costs. Its quite right that staff get free places, nobody in their right mind would pay for the privilege of taking a bunch of kids on a school trip.

If they are going February half term you can double the accommodation and travel costs. Every one wants to go February half term, best conditions.

our Ski trip is 1100 quid, 10 days to Austria which seemed expensive but now seems like excellent value! Bus travel and a ferry and youth hostel type accommodation . Includes kit but bring ski clothes, lunch money etc.

Mines is going but does ski camps at a council run dry slope so that he can get the best out of it. These are great about £20 a day for 2 hours instruction and all the kit! Skiing is tough, the boots are heavy etc. I think much better to turn up with a decent idea of how to ski and then you can enjoy the experience of skiing in snow.

It's that much as it's paying for the teachers to go too! Thats what i got told 😵‍💫🤯😫

This sounds like something an 11 year old would say.
Do you think teachers should have to pay for the privilege of caring for your children for 24 hours a day?

When the letter came home from my dc’s school it was £1500 each (14 years ago) I said no but took us all to Scotland skiing, £1600 the whole family including petrol, accommodation, food, ski hire and lessons for dc for 3 days

If you can't afford it the answer is no. Even as an adult working full time with no dependents, there are things i cannot afford to do. Thats life. As for schools not offering these sort of trips because only rich people can go, that's an unreasonable argument. Often those people who go are being sent by families because it's the only chance they will ever have for such an experience.

Scottish skiing is so unreliable especially in the last decade, between high winds and hardly any snow.

High schools want to offer a range of trips £350 hardly gets you anywhere.
For some kids a school trip might be there only chance of a holiday.

I often wonder do councils pay for trips for kids in care?