AIBU to say no to a Skiing Trip with the school?

[Lollylucyclark101]

So when my son was 12, he was invited to go on a Skiing trip with his school. The total cost was £3000… this didn’t include spending money or equipment hire; and extras we needed to buy before going. Me and my husband (not my sons father) said no; as we couldn’t afford it. My sons now 18, and no it’s never effected his life.

my stepdaughter is now 12 and now has had the same letter from her school. £3500. Automatically I’ve said no, as we can’t afford (£1500 odd quid) it.

Shes shown no interest in Skiing ever and why should the children be treated differently?

anyway, know this is going to be a huge row. Husband is saying “maybe, we will see” which to me is giving her false hope, when he should be saying no, regardless of if she gets upset. Because he KNOWS we can’t afford it.

there loads of other cheaper trips she can go on…. Germany, Milan etc, but the skiing trip is just out of our budget.

i don’t think schools should be allowed to do these expensive trips either! Only the rich kids get to go 🙄

anyway….. am I being the AH here?

Tell her you will match her pound for pound up to £1000, and her other parent will have to sort the other part.
At the same time save the same amount for your son. Just in case.
bet she never saves any money.

I get annoyed that if a parent organised this they would be fine yet school organises it and it is suddenly an educational trip. My answer would be no.

Agreeing with you about having ski-ing trips. Unless there are bursaries or PTA help with costs for poorer children, my understanding of the Equalities Act is such that I don't see how you could say they aren't discriminatory, however unintentional.

Well obviously a 12 year old isn’t going to be able to “save” £1,000. What a pointless comment.

That's unbelievably expensive. Where are they going? Klosters?

I learned to see on school ski trips and I'll be forever grateful I did. But then it was about £300 iirc. They kept costs as low as they could. Even allowing for inflation, £300 is worlds apart from £3500. That's far, far more than I'd spend on a ski trip for myself as an adult now. I'm absolutely certain the school could do this for less.

Yes exactly. Me and DH keep our finances separate for this exact reason. We both earn good money, he likes to spend his, i save mine. I know he couldn't afford for his kids to go on these trips but I absolutely can. I'd be paying for my DC to go on that trip regardless of whether DH could send his or not. I'm not letting my DC miss out on things because I decided to share finances with someone.

£3500 is absolutely insane for a school ski trip.

Id be challenging why its so expensive tbh.

Tax payers aren’t going to pay for cheaper holidays for kids if it isn’t part of the curriculum. Schools cannot afford resources and extra staff in their budget, never mind trios. So the answer there is either all get to go or nobody goes? Accessible to all means that it would have to be fully funded, parents are always going to have different budgets and not everyone can have everything.

YANBU

DS's year didn't have the opportunity to go skiing because of Covid.

When travel restrictions etc were lifted, school realised that costs were so high it was unfair to ask parents to consider it, so DD has not had the opportunity either.

DH and I skied a lot before the DC were born - before nursery fees came along!- and havnt done since DS (elder child) was 18 months old. DC are teens now, and we plan to take both dc on a family trip in the next couple of years. DH learnt as an adult, I went with school in 6th form as a free dinners child for £17 in the late 80s!

In your case @Lollylucyclark101 - I would treat both dc the same, ie: no ski trip, particularly if you still can't afford it. I realise that you are a blended family, and I can see that your DP may want to favour his child, but £3500 is a massive amount of money, and that alone would be a deal breaker. Can you imagine how your older child would feel if your younger one did go skiing.

My parents didn't ski. They paid for me to go on a school dli trip, I absolutely loved it, went again in early 30s and have skiied ever since

Children benefit from pushing their confidence, achieving a new skill and exposure yo eg French culture

I think it's great if a school can offer it

But if you can't afford it, they can't go

I'm conflicted about whether it's reasonable for schools to offer trips that aren't affordable for all. Seems a pity for everyone to miss out because some can't afford it. But must be awful if you're the only kid who never goes to anything

My school ski trip was £800 by bus 36hr on the bus to Austria from Glasgow. I've just put that into the Bank of England inflation calculator that comes out at £2300!!!

😱😳 what an eye opener. But what an experience my parents weren't particularly well off, working class people with ordinary jobs.

Either the PTA and bursaries are subsiding every single child, or they can't be involved. How unfair to pay for some kids but not others.

Parents won't bother volunteering or contributing anymore if they know it's going to some children only. It's hard enough to motivate them when it's benefitting their own child.

36h on the bus!
My gosh teachers must be saints, imagine supervising and dealing with car sickness and so on for that long 😂

The OP said she works full time!

They have joint money and they can't afford it.

Yip we left the school about 6am on the 2nd of January, drove to Dover ferry ⛴️ to Calais about midnight and got to our hotel about dinner time.

Teachers were absolute stars. We had 3 bus drivers so other than some 30min pee stops we kept going

That's the only time I've been across the channel on a ferry

Both of mine went skiing with school in yr6.
Funniest thing was, my friend called me saying 'shit, I think I've packed my cigs in Bobby's ski bag!' She called the school so that they could relay the message and 10 year old Bobby wasn't trying to smuggle smokes in!

Seems a ginormous and unecessary piss take - I have a lot of time for teachers but this seems designed to get them a high end freebie at others expense

Agree completely and if the critics stop to think about it it probably amounts to £100 extra a person max so hardly the lions share of the trip cost.

If I wanted to spend £3500 skiing in my Easter holidays, I would go with my husband or friends.

Why would I give up my holiday to pay the same amount of money whilst going with and being in change of a huge group of kids 24/7? Do you think anyone would volunteer to go on these trips?!

You’re not unreasonable to say no to her, however it’s massively u reasonable to suggest the school shouldn’t do the trip because it’s unaffordable for you.

Different children because of age have different finances for parents. I think if you can’t afford it fine but if you can now afford what you couldn’t before then she should get to go. Even though it’s unfair people tend to earn more as they progress through life

Dragging a bunch of kids across country and managing them through a ski trip, giving away your own time FOR FREE to look after other people's children and dealing with ridiculous parents?

you call that a high end freebie? 😂

How many hours of volunteering for schools have you done out of curiosity? To see how much you enjoy these kinds of freebie?

@Shinyandnew1 I think you have misinterpreted what I said - I totally get what you are saying - it’s not the money, I don’t think these trips should be an option at all - the odd £450 3 nights in Boulogne then maybe - it’s not exactly very inclusive either is it at this level - kids prayer, many parents can’t afford, it’s simple as that .

It's it's only £100 per person, that's the cheapest childcare I have ever paid for - because that's what parents pay for, childcare.

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday apologies I worded it badly - as I’ve just said I don’t think they should happen at all