To not have a stranger at my son’s party

[2cleverlovingchildren]

My son is turning 4 next week. My husbands sil has just messaged to ask if my 14 year old nephew can bring his girlfriend to my sons party at our house. There is only going to be me (mum), husband (dad), daughter (8 year old) (sister), both sets of grandparents and my husbands brother, wife (sil) and two sons (14 and 9 year old). Not even husband, or grandparents have met this girlfriend before. I just find it weird that this is the time we should meet her. So am I unreasonable to say no. Or should I let her come. Son absolutely adores and idolises 14 year old nephew and would hugely miss him if he didn’t come. Told this is only time nephew can see girlfriend as she lives 2 hrs away and so only see each other once a month for a weekend.

You think your 8 year old’s “boyfriend” is at all the same as a teenage relationship?

Bizarre to encourage this.

Why can’t your DD play with her brother then?

And I thought kids birthday parties were bad. This is on another level of insane.

Can you imagine actual class parties/ parties with class friends?

No one’s saying it’s necessary.
OP is the one suggesting it would be so awful for her child if the nephew didn’t attend.
The nephew has plans with his Gf he doesn’t want to cancel for a 4 year olds party. It’s simply if OP is so concerned about nephew being there to play with her child she needs to accept he will bring his GF and then get on with his plans with her.

I would imagine that’s why the sil has asked if she can come, she doesn’t want to leave them alone!

Yes he’s a friend who’s a boy. Who comes round for tea and she goes to his. They go ten pin bowling etc. they hold hands, hug and buy presents for each other and make gifts and drawings for each other, go to Frankie and bennies etc. one parent takes them and supervises them from a distance.

she’s been doing this for longer than my nephew with current girlfriend. And not just once a month. So maybe her relationship is more serious than his.

Look, you have evidently decided you’re right OP, so why ask?

WHY did MN remove the 😂reaction.

This is priceless

It’s not like a random person of the street is coming - it’s a child🤣.

what about having a 14 year old girl at the party makes you uncomfortable?

I would love to meet my nephews girlfriend and would be chuffed he wanted to bring her to a family party.

If she doesn’t come… the 14 year old nephew probably won’t come to a 4 years old bday …. I can’t imagine teens would be interested at that age if

my 8 year old daughter also has a boyfriend but he’s not coming or been invited. And yet my parents have met him. But yet my brother in laws parents haven’t met this girl.

What have I just read? The 4yr old birthday party is the least of worries here .

my 8 year old daughter also has a boyfriend

Say what now?

To be honest, it wouldn't cross my mind to say no. Your son idolises his cousin, and therefore presumably would be upset if he didn't come to his party. That in itself, would persuade me to say yes. There will come a time when your nephew won't be coming to your son's birthday parties, in 4 years he'll be 18, and could be off to university. Make the most of the fact he still around, and is willing to come, even if his girlfriend is with him.

Better not leave them alone then 🙄

It wouldn’t bother me at all. Try not to be so uptight. The party might be all the better for having her there!

Oh so I'm "insecure" , "dramatic" and now " precious" : any more derogatory things to say about me?

Given OP's update that this gf is the latest in a succession of gfs this boy has had I really dont see why OP should have her birthday party plans disrupted just to accommodate the social life of her nephew.

He’s 14 and they’ve been together 6/7 months - how old was he when he has his girlfriend for 2 years? 14 is an age when relationships are a bit more real than your DD at 8!
you have a choice I reckon - both of them or neither. You soon really uptight - relax and enjoy the party and have some fun! Unclench

Can't believe this you are being ridiculous , and your 8 year old has a boyfriend ! 😂

She does. Lots. They’re really close. He loves the attention from other people. It’s the first year he’s been really excited about his birthday. She helps him opening his presents (as mil uses lots of tape) as I set them up out of the packaging. Then food comes out. Everyone stuffs themselves. Then the 8 and 9 year old go off and play (9 year old is awkward in social situations and finds them overwhelming also has sensory issues etc) so my dd helps him with staying calm and often with edits out Lego or arts and crafts in her room to do. Then 14 year old normally plays with new toys with son. In laws disappear home 20 mins after food has been served (use dog as an excuse). My parents. Go at about 3pm as catch train 2 hrs back home. Brother in laws family normally stop and play all together then (as 9 year old better as things calmer- or can then go to a different room when needed by self.) until 8pm.

it’s how it’s been for years.

11 and a half

Your son is 4 but you are having an adult get together not a party for him.

’relationship’? At 8? More serious than a teen romance? This thread is insane!

That’s how family grows and is a happy warm welcoming place for people

oh dear 😂

Why are you upset about this? I think its sweet he wants to bring his little girlfriend, they are only kids themselves. Your little boy will love it and get lots of attention.

yes this. But he is having a soft play party with his friends the day before. This isn’t an adult get together. It’s a family get together. The last one was at Christmas. But there is another one for my mil and husband in two weeks time.