To not have a stranger at my son’s party

[2cleverlovingchildren]

My son is turning 4 next week. My husbands sil has just messaged to ask if my 14 year old nephew can bring his girlfriend to my sons party at our house. There is only going to be me (mum), husband (dad), daughter (8 year old) (sister), both sets of grandparents and my husbands brother, wife (sil) and two sons (14 and 9 year old). Not even husband, or grandparents have met this girlfriend before. I just find it weird that this is the time we should meet her. So am I unreasonable to say no. Or should I let her come. Son absolutely adores and idolises 14 year old nephew and would hugely miss him if he didn’t come. Told this is only time nephew can see girlfriend as she lives 2 hrs away and so only see each other once a month for a weekend.

Of course you can dictate who is allowed to come to your child’s party, but TBH in this case I think it’d be very mean-spirited to say no.

It's not healthy or normal for your 8 year old to have a boyfriend who she dates, holds hands with and hugs, it's weird and tbh concerning, however many times they've been to Frankie and Bennie's

Exactly.
Do the poor girl a favour and don’t invite her OP. Saves her having to deal with you.

I really miss the laughing reaction.
Frankie and Bennie's is such a specific retro touch 😂

Are you always so over the top?

That's really not as cute as you think it is...

This is becoming more hilarious with every OP post.
Its got it all…
Casanova 14 year olds with unwanted girlfriend,
Relatives coming to pay homage to the Golden Birthday Child - WHO MUST NOT HAVE ATTENTION TAKEN OFF THEM BY INTRODUCTIONS TO STRANGERS AT ALL COSTS,
8 year olds with a relationship looking to go to Miller and Carter for the next date,

Personally I can’t wait for the next instalment… it’s better than Corrie!

You don’t want her there, why are you even posting?

You don't sound very friendly OP. I think its lovely he wants to bring his gf to meet his family.

These are the people who don’t open their front door if they aren’t expecting people, 🙄

How sweet of you nephew. Yabu re the stranger comment. Your choice either have the nephew and girlfriend but don't. Tbh it's very strange your reaction re the girlfriend. You sound very unwelcoming.

Why does her 14 year old nephew need moral support? For what?

The fact your 8 yr old has a boyfriend and you call him a boyfriend and encourage it is deeply disturbing.

I also find it weird and wouldnt want a strange girl at a family celebration. I wonder whose idea it was to bring the gf to the party?

I’d say no to the girl attending. It would be different if they were in their 20s and had been together for a while. Edited to add that 8 year olds shouldn’t be having boyfriends and girlfriends. You can’t compare a child who wasn’t long ago a toddler to a teenager going through puberty.

What happened on the 14 year old's birthday?

I am really missing the laughing reaction tonight!

He wants someone his own age there so he doesn't have to spend all his time with his much younger cousins?

The bullshit threads are always good fun. I applaud the OP for her efforts.

I can’t believe your 8 year old has a boyfriend! Wtaf.

I get that you’re worried that your four year old will be usurped but I think it will be fine. For the sake of decency just say yes.

That vibe changes when one of the kids is 14 and one is 4. Your expectations are nuts, especially this idea your son will be upset if a 14 yr old doesn't want to play with him. C'mon now is that not a bit precious?

The 3 year old wanted to bring his ex-wife and it all got a bit awkward

When I first posted I was unsure. So was husband.

it was after reading certain posts that we decided that there were more appropriate times to meet her.

we understand nephew (or anyone else) doesn’t have to come. We don’t force them to. They don’t have to. My son has another aunt that he’s never met as she chooses not to meet us or see us.

I feel we all like being the centre of attention (especially when young) on our birthdays.

yes people talk, take themselves off to other rooms etc. but we feel the dynamic would change. The focus would be on this girl that not even his own brother has met. (Only his mum has). So surely her meeting brother and dad would be better first than meeting 4 year old nephew and entire family? Why would sil not suggest this? Is it that she feels that I would watch over their interactions and make sure nothing happens and so she then doesn’t need to do that? My attention will be on my kids and predominantly on my son.

thanks for helping us to decide where our focus should be.

I’m guessing the nephew? Be a bit odd if anyone else wanted to invite her.

What harm would inviting her do? She’s just a kid.