To not have a stranger at my son’s party

[2cleverlovingchildren]

My son is turning 4 next week. My husbands sil has just messaged to ask if my 14 year old nephew can bring his girlfriend to my sons party at our house. There is only going to be me (mum), husband (dad), daughter (8 year old) (sister), both sets of grandparents and my husbands brother, wife (sil) and two sons (14 and 9 year old). Not even husband, or grandparents have met this girlfriend before. I just find it weird that this is the time we should meet her. So am I unreasonable to say no. Or should I let her come. Son absolutely adores and idolises 14 year old nephew and would hugely miss him if he didn’t come. Told this is only time nephew can see girlfriend as she lives 2 hrs away and so only see each other once a month for a weekend.

😂

After six months of dating I was invited to my boyfriend's auntie and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary meal. Literally the whole family were there. I said hello to everyone and them to me. I Did Not Try To or In Fact Take A Millisecond Of Focus From The Auntie And Uncle. At our wedding, we invited a cousins new girlfriend, she didn't take focus either. Shocking.

All this for a four year olds party …

The assumption that the 14 year olds are going to sneak off to have sex while at child’s birthday party is also really, really weird.

I guess that’s where your mind goes when your norm is facilitating your 8 year old DD going on dinner dates with her boyfriend.

Never mentioned them having sex. But there’s still lots of things that are inappropriate and unacceptable (especially at that age). It’s in my property and I would feel responsible if something happened.

unsure as to how much parents watch what’s happening or know what child is upto as he’d been chatting to her online originally and they didn’t know who he was talking to (luckily it’s a 14 year old girl but you hear stories of someone saying they’re a child and not being). He’s also gone missing before for a few hours where his parents didn’t know where he was and ended up calling the police when he wasn’t back home on time (thought he was at local park on his bike but wasn’t and had cycled 10 miles away).

im not the kind of person who could sit back and not know/ not want to know what was going off in my own home. I don’t want to be worrying about my nephew and his gf. I want to be celebrating my son.

And you honestly think something untoward is going to happen during your child’s 4th birthday party?

I stand by my point, you’re making a lot of drama out of a non issue.

In my family nobody would even check if it was okay to bring the girlfriend 😂😂 they’d just bring them.

Your rather odd and uncompromising attitude will start to become problematic as your child grows up. 89% of this community thinks you are being unreasonable. You posted yet you have shown absolutely no ability to listen to a lot of sensible, measured advice. I suspect as you and your child become part of other communities, school, sports etc. your rigid, weird views will become a problem for you and your poor child.

Oh the 14 year olds might steal the beer and wine intended for the 8 year old's next date and get drunk

The more you post the more obvious it is that you just don’t want her there. Although in fairness it was obvious from your first post!

You for some reason think her being there will detract from “celebrating the birthday” of your child. I genuinely think you are being way over the top with this, but it’s your opinion and your choice as to who comes to your house.

But I do think you should not try and twist and contort all the excuses as to why you don’t want her to come as frankly it’s now reading in La La land.

You aren’t responsible for parenting them. They would just attend a jolly family occasion. He likes her and it’s his girlfriend. It’s not a big deal. But you are making it into a deal that’s not worthy of the circumstance.

You seem so intent that the entire focus should be on your child’s birthday to the detriment of anything else. Your child will be 4 and will enjoy their party irrespective of whether nephew brings his teenage girlfriend. Honestly you are being ridiculous on this.

This thread get weirder with every further post from the OP. Who on earth would even consider half these things as being an issue at all, mostly because they would never happen.

Its a 4 yos birthday party, nothing will detract from your son as it will be all about him anyway, thats the point. You just dont want her there, its sounds quite spiteful TBH.

Does it really matter? Let him bring her along.

If he doesn’t come at all (because you won’t let his GF come) then presumably that would be even worse? He’s a teenager, he’s growing up, he wants to bring his GF, I’d embrace it.

You can say no but be prepared for your nephew to want to spend time with his girlfriend instead of coming to your sons party

He’s coming to the party and seeing his gf the weekend after.

I have repeatedly said it’s sorted and he’s coming.

What was the point in starting this thread?

Is your child a prince of the realm? Will Hello magazine be doing a feature? Because I can’t think of any other reason why Little Lord Fauntleroy needs so much special attention on his 4th birthday. I have found that most children are easily pleased. A few minutes of ooh’s and aah’s while they rip open their presents and a quick burst of Happy Birthday around a cake is usually all the attention they need or want at family gatherings.

So they’ve rearranged their plans because you’re too precious to let her come to a 4 year olds party?

Seems to sum it up 😀

Great and your whole family knows you're a high maintenance weirdo.

Definitely let her come especially as nephew hardly gets to see her. My dd's boyfriend's sister said dd could come to her birthday meal with the family. She was chuffed, felt a bit awkward as she didn't really know anyone apart from bf but was pleased she went

It’s another person to feed so I’d say no. I don’t want strangers in my house!

You understand how strangers become friends and family, right?

It's party food. One more person won't make a difference

He's going to be so happy and not at all resentful