To wonder what it’s like to be with a man like this…

[Alltheminicerealsgoneinoneday]

One who looks after you, cooks you dinner or even makes you a drink. One who takes the mental load off you, sorts the bills etc. A man who takes care of you when you’re ill, tells you to go to bed and have a rest when you’re tired/overwhelmed. A man who you can sit and have interesting and intelligent conversations and debates with, a man who teaches you something.
To wonder what it’s like to have a man who spontaneously cuddles you and who you still love properly kissing with, to be with a man who takes the initiative and plans/books something for you both or as a family. A fun man with a positive outlook and a lust for life, a guy who doesn’t smoke or drink excessively or take drugs, a man who plays sports and has a great friendship circle. A man who makes you laugh and is witty and sharp, a kind man who loves dogs
To wonder what it’s like to be with a man who listens to you, cares and offers advice, a man who has always got your back and defends you.

To wonder what it’s like to be with a man like this..it must be like winning the lottery to be this cared for and loved

Sounds like my ex husband, I’ll say it again, my EX husband!

It’s interesting to note how many of the posters on this thread that say their DH/ partner are like that, but that previous partners have been everything from awful to downright abusive.

I’ve thought about this a lot (I mean my personal circumstances) and truly believe it’s about making a conscious decision to look for a different kind of man. OP - it is possible to meet somebody like this but don’t keep going for the same as you’ve chosen before

I think what you want is someone who is compatible with you.
I have a man like this, it's important for me, but it means things that makes many posters scream in horror.

Someone sporty is the main thing, and who has a great group of friends, hobbies, who is interesting, challenging, book things, has a zest for life.
It's fantastic. BUT it means he needs a chance to do all that, and because we have children, we have to take turn to go training, go to competitions when we can't go together, and to see our friends. It's him having at least 3 evenings a week, and often a day at the weekend or all weekend. Then it's my turn.

Remember some posters can't bear the idea of doing bedtime alone...and faint at the idea of spending a weekend alone.
Can't have both. Either you are both supportive of each other, or you want a home buddy but it means someone doing not much.

Some posters'idea of a perfect weekend is to potter around doing nothing. Not compatible with an active partner.

tells you to go to bed and have a rest when you’re tired/overwhelmed.
I am not sure we all want someone like this, shared chores/ mental load/ kids... yes, but I don't want someone patronising me telling me to go to bed if I am unwell.

You want the perfect man for YOU, but be realistic on what his best qualities actually mean in real life.

You could try reading One of the Good Guys a book by Araminta Hall.

Ah dh is almost all of those things but he’s not perfect and neither am I. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs but who doesn’t over the course of almost a quarter of a century?
He’s kind and caring, generous and loving, adores and would do absolutely anything for his loved ones. He’s also pretty strong willed and can’t always see the other side of his own decisions and opinions. It’s part of what makes me love him so much, his confidence in himself and unwavering belief in things. It also drives me potty at times as he fails to see the alternatives.
But I can live with that. And the dds have done wonders to make him pause for thought more and open his mind a bit in ways that I haven’t managed to do.
Anyway, yes I feel lucky to have him, he’s a good man but lots are and the bare minimum is kindness from your partner. Sorry you’re having a shit time of it, Everyone deserves to be happy, whatever that looks like.

and the pp who said you’re looking for a woman made me properly chuckle so thanks for that 😂😂

My DH is exactly as you describe but he also had an affair.

I really wonder too what it must be like, but I doubt I will ever find out.

Oh darling. I wasted YEARS of my life on a man who was basically the opposite of what you describe. He made me phenomenally unhappy.

The current Mr Pony is pretty much your perfect man. He's not into sports, but he has a physical job, so doesn't need to be. He's kind, he's clever, hes probably the most emotionally literate man I've ever met...I adore him. Don't settle for less.

DH doesn’t do sport or like dogs, which are partly why he’s perfect for me, he’s all the other things you list. I feel fortunate every day to be with him, it makes like feel very easy even when life has thrown a load of painful shit at us because I know he’s by my side, will prop me up, comfort me, make me laugh. I hope you find what you’re looking for and deserve 💐

My DH ticks most of those boxes. I still find stuff to moan about but I’m going to rethink that now.

Mine surprised me with a lovely end of term dinner this evening! He can still be annoying though…like all human beings! He is perpetually late and I am perpetually early. We have argued about time keeping since we met 20 years ago! 😂

My DH is so caring, kind and generous. He used to cook, pour me a drink and do most of the things in the OP. But, now he has cancer, has no energy and is very frail. He is still very upbeat, though.

DP does many of these things a lot of the time, and most of our friends think he really is this guy. As does he. But he has a really unpleasant, volatile streak that he reserves just for me, where he sulks, blows up, controls, blames and manipulates. I've reasoned myself into believing he's a nice guy with a few flaws, but I'm increasingly resigned to the fact that he is a deeply flawed guy with a few good habits.

My husband is all this and more and it's fucking wonderful. He enhances my life in every way.

I wish this for everyone.

Sounds like you need a butler

My Bf is currently cleaning the kitchen whilst I’m sat mumsnetting. Feel very blessed. He is humming the Lord of the Rings movie soundtrack. He isn’t perfect but he works hard to make my life better.

What you need, my love, is a woman. My wife does all of this and more.

Heterosexuality is truly a curse upon women.

What a strange comment.

I am heterosexual and I have a husband who ticks all the boxes. Most men I know do - my friends are as demanding as I am, if not more 😂

Don't be such a bigot.

Yep 🤣🤣

Smack the Pony got there first.

It's so unfair that my boyfriend can't fly. 😢

My partner ticks all of those boxes.

When I was single I loved dating but I dumped nearly every man after a month or so because they didn't live up to these standards. I don't understand why you'd stay with someone who didn't meet what you want! Just keep going until you find a good'un

Do you struggle to understand humour in all situations, or is it just the written word that buggers you up?

Apart from the playing sports, this pretty much describes my DH as a previous poster mentioned, it is not unreasonable to expect this from a relationship. You do have to kiss a few toads before you find it though 🤣

Well be both drink sometimes but yeah this is dh, neither of us are saints but we get on, we are together because it works for both of us it is about mutual respect and helping each other out

I wouldn't be with him if it was any less and I control what I put up with, there would be no point me being with someone not good enough then complaining about it, I presume he feels the same, nothing in life is perfect but being female doesn't take my critical thinking abilities away and I would like to think I have some intelligence to know what works or change what doesn't

He doesn't play a sport but dont know why that would bother me nor the dog thing