To wonder what it’s like to be with a man like this…

[Alltheminicerealsgoneinoneday]

One who looks after you, cooks you dinner or even makes you a drink. One who takes the mental load off you, sorts the bills etc. A man who takes care of you when you’re ill, tells you to go to bed and have a rest when you’re tired/overwhelmed. A man who you can sit and have interesting and intelligent conversations and debates with, a man who teaches you something.
To wonder what it’s like to have a man who spontaneously cuddles you and who you still love properly kissing with, to be with a man who takes the initiative and plans/books something for you both or as a family. A fun man with a positive outlook and a lust for life, a guy who doesn’t smoke or drink excessively or take drugs, a man who plays sports and has a great friendship circle. A man who makes you laugh and is witty and sharp, a kind man who loves dogs
To wonder what it’s like to be with a man who listens to you, cares and offers advice, a man who has always got your back and defends you.

To wonder what it’s like to be with a man like this..it must be like winning the lottery to be this cared for and loved

Mine shares the load but we play to our strengths and that has worked for us in the 25yrs together. DH would do all those things if I wanted him to but that's not what I looked for in a man.

Haha. I was just going to say, ask a man or a lesbian, because that sounds like having a wife!

The bar is so low when women accept the idea that men can’t be like this - they can. Sorry to those who have never encountered it though and make do with far less with no hope for better.

Agree - that’s a woman 😂

Discouraging the preference of many women for liking "a bad boy" might encourage this sort of behaviour? ducks

Exactly. Unfortunately for some people the bar is placed absurdly low for men.

Well, indeed

It's lovely. After being in a violent and mentally abusive relationship, I couldn't believe it could be like this. I literally take a moment every day to appreciate it and him.

But perfection doesn’t exist. It’s fine to dream about those things but equally men are dreaming about unrealistic women who’ll act a certain way too. No one can get every need or want they have fulfilled in one person.

My partner is like that.

It's lovely but it would be very easy to become lazy 😬

I wasn't necessarily looking for that but I was looking for someone who'd take an equal share of the load. He goes way beyond that.

ETA: I just re read the op. He isn't quite all that because he doesn't play sports.

But, seriously, OP you get what you accept. If you want more, expect more and that doesn't mean expect the man you're with to change but get rid of anyone who is offering less than you want.

I'd like to think men like this exist, yes. I've met one and lost him.
what strikes me is that there's no mention of a six pack or how tall he should be. Those things that so many guys think matter to women.

One would be good though…right

So, OP, the general consensus seems to be that there are men it there that are at least pretty close to what you describe; If you are in a vastly different kind of relationship I think you know what to do.

I literally thought at the last part…someone who I find attractive…handsome to me..the last part and all the above qualities would probably make him that to me anyway

OP I was only saying this to friends a few days ago and could have written your post. I’ve had several relationships, but never one like this, in truth. It’s what I want but I’m guessing the pool is ever shrinking.

That’s not true. My dh of 30 years, together 35, is all those things. He deserves this treatment from me and I deserve this treatment from him. We both count ourselves fortunate.

OP is right to want the best for herself. She deserves it! Why be with someone who doesn’t love to treat you lovingly?

It’s wonderful, and I know that I’m very lucky.

Remember OP, the perfect man doesn’t exist but the partner who’s perfect for you does.

You deserve no less, but you won’t meet them until you get rid of the dead weight you’re with now.

My dh isn’t sporty and doesn’t like dogs but is otherwise mostly that description. 3 years married, and that’s why!

You leave if they don't have the qualities you, why be with someone when they bring nothing positive to the table

My DH is all of those things on your list OP but as others have said, he’s human and not perfect (and neither am I). He’s also a pain in the backside sometimes, incredibly driven, which can make him single minded at times. But he’s a really kind, thoughtful and very generous person, and good to all his family not just me.

I had some absolutely rubbish boyfriends in my twenties, and it took getting my heart well and truly broken to make a deliberate decision to look for a different kind of man. Thank goodness I did.

Have you currently got a partner or boyfriend @Alltheminicerealsgoneinoneday

I was wondering what sparked your post.

Meh,
I have one of these, just had our 40th wedding anniversary.
I still want to bludgeon him with a claw hammer on occasion.

My DH ticks most of those boxes, most of the time. I feel very fortunate

I say this, not to brag, but to highlight that there are decent men out there

My gorgeous man is not my husband but he’s kind and considerate and funny and I appreciate the pants off him because the LTR before that was with a selfish lazy git. Yesterday he gave me a lift to the garage twice for my car’s service / MOT. I could have walked but if made me feel so loved that he offered so willingly and I’ve been with him a few years now but this kind of thing will never stop feeling precious. Keep hoping for a good man, OP, and LTB

To tick the majority of those boxes really isn’t a lot to ask. If yours ticks none at all he really isn’t worth your time, it’s not a partnership.