‘Don’t splash me!’

[Justputsomecocoabutteronit]

Having a short, four day holiday with Dp & Dd.
We went to the beach this morning, Dd very excited & happy. She ran into the sea, Dp came in with swim shorts on and stood there to get used to the sea. Dd playfully kick splashed him with water, he sharply shouted ‘Don’t do that! Don’t splash me with water!’ Dd looked a bit shocked and said ‘Sorry’ quietly
Sat at the coffee part and Dp starts talking to me about insurance payments he has to sort for his bike, whilst i’m chatting happily with dd and looking at the blue sea.
We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

Is all this normal? Feel so low

Is he the father?

You both sound a bit tense, you probably need a longer holiday! Hopefully he will relax soon. DId he apologize for snapping at DD?

Horrible man, it's not you.

If I’ve stood getting used to the freezing cold sea I don’t like being splashed either.

Sounds like DH is stressed about the insurance and the heat's not helping either.

Yes he does sound like he's been grumpy, especially with him telling DD not to splash (which is very unreasonable when you're at the seaside with kids), but I wouldn't make any judgements because what's he normally like?

We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

In all fairness to DH I'd also get a bit arsey if someone started backseat driving with me

I hate being splashed and have always firmly told my children not too from a very young age. To me it feels like someone is slapping me In the face. I also didn’t want my kids to be the annoying one in the pool who annoys everyone! But I suppose it depends how he said it and what he is usually like.

He sounds like he has no problem taking out his frustrations on a small girl and her mother.

Neither you or your DD should accept treatment like this, she is just a baby having fun, no need to shout at her fgs.

Yes

When he saw me looking shocked at him speaking like that when she was just having fun, he said ‘You just shocked me, it gave me a shock’ (the cold water)

He shouldn't have done any of these things, but in my experience, a lot of men are like this.

I am starting to think that it is part of being a man bc I see it so often,

It is very sad.

🤣🤣🤣
Sorry, but that's such a ridiculous thing to say 🤣🤣🤣

The splashing thing - I think that's OK, as long as he apologised for snapping.

Chatting about non-holiday stuff on holiday - totally fine. Obviously not for the duration, but it's hard to switch from work/admin/home/family to full on Cliff Richard summer holiday in a day or two.

he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc. - Not OK. It sounds like this is a pattern. Your child needing to go to the toilet is no reason for driving too fast, but his response to you asking him to be careful should not be to get angry and say awful things to you.

What's funny?

Yes, same…I agree

What awful things did he say? How often is he angry? What's the insurance bit in the post about? (Sorry, found it hard to follow the post)

The splash thing seems fairly normal, no one wants to have cold water kicked on them.

"It's part of being a man" 🤔😀
It isn't. It's part of being an unreasonable human being.

OK, so that doesn't seem like the end of the world to me. He doesn't like the feeling of being splashed, he was a bit snappy, and then he explained why he overreacted.

I would find it incredibly irritating if you were doing your anxious backseat driver act in the car with me, especially if I was already a bit stressed because I had a child the car flapping about needing a poo. It's quite draining having someone fretting and being panicky and acting like you can't do simple things without them issuing you instructions.

The mention of insurance payments - mildly irritating, but not really anything I'd be overly bothered about. It presumably just popped into his mind for some reason and he mentioned it because it was in his head.

To be honest, I think he sounds a bit tense with a lot on on his mind and you sound a bit over-sensitive/over-anxious so I think this is really just six of one, half a dozen of the other. Four days is obviously a shortish break and maybe it just isn't enough time for him to wind down and leave the stresses of daily life behind.

Unless, obviously, there's going to be a massive drip feed in which you reveal that he also locks your child in a cupboard, refuses to let you leave the house without his permission calls you both a pair of cunts on the regular.

The splashing and talking about insurance are complete non events.

The snapping about the bloke in the road was OTT.

I absolutely hate being splashed. I've always shut it down when my children have done it.

I'm also not sure what is wrong with him chatting to you about practical stuff because you're looking at the sea.

Getting angry about the driving comment isn't hreat, but is that something you do frequently?

Not everyone likes being splashed. Plenty of people detest back seat drivers. Is there a drip feed coming?

We don't know if the man snapped at OP, just that he said she doesn't need to tell him how to drive, which is correct.

It's not part of being a man.

OP said he was going slightly fast. I want to know if she means faster than the road conditions allow. If so then she was right to ask him to be careful.

Jesus, if you don’t like being splashed don’t go to the beach or pool with kids!

Is he like this often or was he having a really bad day? I think that’s key. If he gets bad tempered occasionally then, even though it’s still unpleasant, I’d just ignore it. If it’s frequent then that’s a different matter.