‘Don’t splash me!’

[Justputsomecocoabutteronit]

Having a short, four day holiday with Dp & Dd.
We went to the beach this morning, Dd very excited & happy. She ran into the sea, Dp came in with swim shorts on and stood there to get used to the sea. Dd playfully kick splashed him with water, he sharply shouted ‘Don’t do that! Don’t splash me with water!’ Dd looked a bit shocked and said ‘Sorry’ quietly
Sat at the coffee part and Dp starts talking to me about insurance payments he has to sort for his bike, whilst i’m chatting happily with dd and looking at the blue sea.
We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

Is all this normal? Feel so low

It's perfectly fine not to want to be splashed.

That's silly.

Lots of people love swimming with their kids, but when you've only just got in and are acclimatising to the cold water, it's fine to tell them not to splash you.

He said that I didn’t need to tell him how to drive etc etc, just getting really angry, out of proportion anger.

The insurance wasn’t the issue itself, I mean just talking about such boring, stressful things whilst we’re at a beautiful beach with a happy Dd with us trying to play

Sound like he is not enjoying the holiday

The quicker you get into the water the quicker you’ll acclimatise! And then the splashing won’t matter!

Goodness, such preciousness.

I’m team DH on this one. I’d be inclined to snap at someone splashing cold water at me, because as he said it’s an unpleasant shock. Kids can very much learn to ask before splashing.

And the rule in our house is you only comment on driving if it’s life or death. If you don’t like the way someone drives, then you drive. While I don’t shout in this scenario, I might snap and I have been known to pull up and insist we swap drivers, as my driving is fine even if it’s not the way someone else would do it.

And provided he wasn’t talking over your conversation with DD, a beach trip is a perfectly appropriate time to discuss life admin.

Oh, and for the benefit of PP, I am a woman so this has nothing to do with being a man.

It all just wraps together to make a miserable, angry vibe
I try to enjoy things and have fun with Dd. I have lots of things on my mind, but I can fret about them on my own. I don’t want to hear stressy things about bills and having to pay insurance, I do these things constantly, i’d prefer not to moan about them at a beach bar in front of Dd especially

These threads always fill up with 'well I wouldn't like it either' with absolutely no mention it.

I doubt anyone enjoys being splashed with cold water, but how do you react when your excited child does it on holiday?

I don't count 'watch out!' as backseat driving, I once saved many lives on a motorway by shouting it at DP, but if you do find 'watch out!' as irritating, how do you respond?

Is it with anger?

Way to raise bratty kids.

It doesn't matter what you think about how people choose to acclimatise their own bodies to the water.

You don't get to make that choice.

Exactly, she was just having fun, it was the sharpness of his comment, the way he speaks, she’s only 6, she was trying to play, the smile just vanished from her face and she said sorry quietly.
These are not the family holiday memories I want for my child

... No mention of how you respond, I should say. Loads of stuff is irritating, especially on holiday, but let's not kid ourselves that dads are trying to keep the peace and distract the kids while the mum rants away, spoiling the vibe. We all know it's more often the other way round.

This.

The driving thing was a reaction as he was driving fast and a man stepped out into the road, I wasn’t trying to criticise or anything like that

Same.

He does sound a bit irritable, but saints are thin on the ground these days and I think everyone is allowed to have 'off days'.

anyone could snap about being splashed with cold water. I would. And I’m not a man.

Exactly this

He said awful things to her and was angry, so is that different to 'snapping'?

Maybe - but I see it as your way is the way to raise precious, fussy kids.

If the man is often angry and you don't like him, why not break up and just co-parent your child?

You'd say 'don't splash me!' sharply enough to silence a small child on holiday? Or would you say it in a kind or funny voice?

And I see it your way as to raise bratty little kids who aren't concerned about others.

In all honesty, it does sound as though the OP has had enough.

I think the insurance thing is an example of that.

I got to this point with my ex husband, where everything he did just annoyed me, so I called it a day.

It’s her own dad! Jesus, if you can’t have fun with your own family at the seaside, who can you have fun with?!

Not that simple unfortunately