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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Don’t splash me!’

181 replies

Justputsomecocoabutteronit · 20/06/2025 15:56

Having a short, four day holiday with Dp & Dd.
We went to the beach this morning, Dd very excited & happy. She ran into the sea, Dp came in with swim shorts on and stood there to get used to the sea. Dd playfully kick splashed him with water, he sharply shouted ‘Don’t do that! Don’t splash me with water!’ Dd looked a bit shocked and said ‘Sorry’ quietly
Sat at the coffee part and Dp starts talking to me about insurance payments he has to sort for his bike, whilst i’m chatting happily with dd and looking at the blue sea.
We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

Is all this normal? Feel so low

OP posts:
swimsong · 22/06/2025 01:53

SuburbanSprawl · 21/06/2025 13:52

Though if it were, it would completely let men off the hook, because it would mean they can't help it.

And this is the problem with making critical generalisations about men. If what you're saying is true of all men then it's intrinsic and there's no hope of it changing.

No. You need to be able to point to men who aren't like that, in order to demonstrate that there's the possibility of change in any man.

Same applies to politicians, hairdressers, cats, mothers-in-law, kids today - any group of whom MN is eager to make critical generalisations.

Edited
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And you sign off with a critical generalisation about mumsnet posters - presumably exempting your unique self.

Well done.

SuburbanSprawl · 22/06/2025 10:02

swimsong · 22/06/2025 01:53

And you sign off with a critical generalisation about mumsnet posters - presumably exempting your unique self.

Well done.

Show quote history

Why do you presume that?

No, not exempting myself at all. Most of us are guilty of the tendency.

However, what do you have to say about the point I'm making?

SapphireSeptember · 24/06/2025 12:37

thatsawhopperthatlemon · 21/06/2025 16:39

I saw a young couple in St Ives the other day - she was pushing the buggy on ahead, and her partner was behind with the little girl who was having a bit of a tantrum and didn't want to walk. In a flash of rage he picked the little girl up off her feet and into the air by her forearm and shook her. It happened quite fast and the mum didn't see what he'd done at all. He then walked past us and took the screaming inconsolable tot over to the mum, and I had 'a word' with him as he passed me. If he'd shown any sign whatsoever of continuing to be like that with either the kid or the mum, I had my phone in my hand ready to film him doing it, and I would have called the police. It was a really busy street and if he's abusive towards the little child in public, it made me wonder what he's like behind closed doors.

I asked if it was you because you said you were on holiday, and you never know - stranger coincidences have happened.

So if anyone else was in St Ives on Thursday, and your partner was wearing a burgundy t-shirt and nonchalantly eating a Cornish pasty whilst you tried to stop your child from crying hysterically... now you know why.

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Bloody hell, that poor little girl. Thank you for standing up for her. 💐

Braygirlnow · 16/08/2025 14:38

Justputsomecocoabutteronit · 20/06/2025 16:35

Yes, same…I agree

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No, its not "part of being a man" my husband doesn't talk to me or the children like that, everyone male or female can get stressed and snappy, but this is not normal or just being a man. The thing is , is this normal for him? Or is this new behaviour maybe something worrying him? If its his usual behaviour then you need to have a conversation about this as unacceptable and if its new behaviour then maybe ask if he is stressed or worried about something.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 16/08/2025 15:53

Justputsomecocoabutteronit · 20/06/2025 18:37

She didn’t keep doing it, she did it once, he shouted at har, she apologised and went to build sandcastle’s

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Well she won’t be splashing people again will she!

KittyKat2824 · 16/08/2025 16:00

He sounds a bit grumpy but tbh, I don't like being splashed so would ask a child politely but firmly not to splash me.

Not sure what was wrong with him mentioning the insurance thing though? Perhaps it was on his mental to do list and he was just sharing.

And the driving one, hard to say. In theory it's very annoying to have a back seat driver but you were right to encourage him to slow down if he was going above the speed limit.

So difficult to judge all these instances without knowing the wider context of how equally the finances and mental load is being shared, whether he was in fact speeding and whether you do your share of the driving.

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