‘Don’t splash me!’

[Justputsomecocoabutteronit]

Having a short, four day holiday with Dp & Dd.
We went to the beach this morning, Dd very excited & happy. She ran into the sea, Dp came in with swim shorts on and stood there to get used to the sea. Dd playfully kick splashed him with water, he sharply shouted ‘Don’t do that! Don’t splash me with water!’ Dd looked a bit shocked and said ‘Sorry’ quietly
Sat at the coffee part and Dp starts talking to me about insurance payments he has to sort for his bike, whilst i’m chatting happily with dd and looking at the blue sea.
We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

Is all this normal? Feel so low

Ok. What needs to happen so you can dump him? Are you dependent on him for housing or financially?

She was trying to engage him, to play with him, to have fun with her daddy, she wasn’t trying to be bratty in any way at all

Literally, for whatever reason he didn't want to be there. Could be the hot weather, the beach, the rush all of it. If he is a good person in general he didn't want to be there. If he is a snappy twat should be one of the many he is into.
In his defence I would say I hate to be splash so I will say something about if that happens and I hate to be rushed or adviced when driving too. You know him better OP.

100%!!

Being splashed is not fun, especially if the water is cold, and I would sharply tell mine off if they did it to me.

It sounds to me like he sounds quite stressed. The OP might not want to hear about stressful things, but it might help him unwind to offload for a short while. I would listen to my DH in that situation, and he listens to me in turn.

I didn't say she was.

My reply was to a post from a PP.

I absolutely hate being splashed, it feels like a slap to face, and I'll tell anyone off for doing it. I also hate snowballing etc. It can be antisocial behaviour.

You need to teach DD about consent regarding touching other people's bodies with inanimate objects - water, sticks, snowballs etc.

What's he like in general? Is he having an off day?

He sounds like a fun sucker. What’s he like at home, is it more of the same?

Presume she’ll explain what the last bit, about saying horrible things, means

otherwise hes done nothing wrong.

I must admit I hate being splashed.

Are you for real?! A 6 year old runs excitedly into the sea with her daddy, she splashes around laughing and turns and splashes her daddy to initiate play…She therefore needs to be taught about boundaries and should ask his consent first???
No, maybe he needs to stop being such a mard, relax a bit and try to have a bit of fun

Apologies

A lot of the time yes

I wouldn’t have snapped but I hate being splashed in the swimming pool or sea so I don’t really blame him.

I also hate back street drivers, so I’d have been annoyed at that.

Sounds like you’ve made up your mind already, so I’m not sure what you’re hoping to gain from this post?

Exactly what I was about to say.

It really is that simple. Sure, once you’ve made the decision stuff gets a bit harder to navigate but the decision is very simple. Do you want to spend the rest of your daughter’s childhood watching him wipe the smile from her face?

I hate being splashed and back seat drivers irritate me, but I’m with you on not wanting to talk insurance while on holiday.

My impression is that you have a vision of what family fun should look like & you are sad that he's not playing his part right.
Even though he didn't know there was an expectation to enjoy the cold water & not talk when you were looking at the sea.

And then maybe you were giving off a huffy vibe and maybe he's leaned into the mardy.

Or maybe he's just a boring dickhead? I don't know.

You should just teach your child not to splash people because not everyone likes it.

OR

Teach her to splash away but accept that people might get cross with her because not everyone likes it.

Kids shouldn't be splashing people who don't want to be splashed. Backseat driving is annoying.

Why is he talking about insurance on a little holiday?He sounds very boring and miserable.Poor child being shouted at when she was having a lovely time how much splashing can it be for such a response.She won’t forget that which is sad.Think carefully about your future he won’t improve.Try and make the most of your time away leave him to be miserable.

If this is another incident in a long line of snappy, mardy behaviour that has eroded the relationship then you know what you’ve got to do. If it’s that he’s got some very real world things going on that he can’t switch off from and would like to discuss them but you are annoyed that he’s not #makingmemories then that’s a bit unreasonable on your behalf

Is he supposed to stand there silently enduring being splashed in the name of fun?
Expectations on parents are so bloody high.
I HATE being splashed, my kids don’t do it to me. (They do splash each other and their dad). We still go swimming and have lots of fun, just don’t splash me thanks.

You’ve written about your DD in a slightly sort of misty Disney way - “she turned to her dad and playfully splashed him- he screamed at her - she realised her mistake and whispered in a trembling voice “I’m sorry daddy - it’s just I love you much and want to play” - she bit her lip and single tear rolled down her long lashes into the ocean” type vibe which just isn’t really what kids are like IRL. I suspect you’ve got a vibe going about how it’s you two lovely girlies on one side looking at the sea and having snuggles and mocktails and the big horrible bloke talking about insurance on the other.
It’s not how I’d choose to organise my marriage and kids but I suspect it’s fairly ingrained by now.