‘Don’t splash me!’

[Justputsomecocoabutteronit]

Having a short, four day holiday with Dp & Dd.
We went to the beach this morning, Dd very excited & happy. She ran into the sea, Dp came in with swim shorts on and stood there to get used to the sea. Dd playfully kick splashed him with water, he sharply shouted ‘Don’t do that! Don’t splash me with water!’ Dd looked a bit shocked and said ‘Sorry’ quietly
Sat at the coffee part and Dp starts talking to me about insurance payments he has to sort for his bike, whilst i’m chatting happily with dd and looking at the blue sea.
We drive to the restaurant for lunch, Dd needs a poo so he’s going slightly fast, a man crosses the road, I say ‘Careful! The man crossing the road’ more because I’m anxious of these things, he gets so angry and saying awful things to me and how I don’t need to tell him how to drive etc.

Is all this normal? Feel so low

I voted YANBU but tbh both DH and I take a couple of days to transition on holiday from frantic home life mode to holiday mode. Often at the start I’ll have work things on my mind until i start to relax and let go. So in that period sometimes we are snappy with each other. We are aware of it now but it doesnt excuse anyone acting like an arse, especially towards kids

JFC. Consent before splashing your father on holiday? I think you've just peak mumsnetted.

But well done excusing a moody man and making the woman the fixer of all things.

Some of the responses here are madness. The man doesn’t need to be splashed in sea water if he doesnt really want to be, and he told the kid to stop. That does not seem entirely unreasonable. Evidently lots of people find it unpleasant - and it’s really not such a bad thing for kids to learn that not everything they do is delightful and needs to be indulged all the time.

You having a tantrum because he dared to talk about life admin while you were looking at the sea is totally unreasonable.

It sounds to me like someone who is quite stressed in normal life and hasn’t yet relaxed into holiday mode. I think you may be reading too much into it, OP.

It really isn’t that simple.

We live abroad, i’m stuck here, there’s a lot to navigate. It’s not always that easy, sadly. Plus, even if we did separate, he’d still have time with her so that could still happen 😔

I don’t want to be splashed by my children or told how to drive by my passenger either.

Oh the irony 🙄

Sorry for the broken record, but what tone would you take with your own six year old child splashing you on holiday? Or indeed doing anything else annoying but ultimately harmless?

Are you stuck living abroad with him and not married?

Well it probably did.

How would you express this, on holiday?

It sounds as though you'd both be happier though, which in turn would probably make for a happier child.

I’d probably say something along the lines of “don’t do that, don’t splash me”….. as the OP reports her husband did.

This sounds like every holiday my exh and I had. The final straw was when he was miserable at Disneyland.
We separated when we returned. Now my kids and I have fun filled relaxing holidays 😁

This is the key thing, isn’t it

Sounds pretty typical behaviour from stressed out people on holiday. My dh and I both have stressful lives and this would be like our first 3 days on holiday before we fully relax into it. I wouldn’t like being splashed by cold water either and would snap at dc for this if I was stressed. Neither myself nor dh like a backseat driver.

He shouted it sharply, the kid fell silent. Is that your vibe with your kids on holiday?

Maybe he doesn't find being splashed with cold water fun.

Did you say this to him?

🤔🤔🤔
What I meant was that you wouldn't have caught me snapping at my kids like that, so I am challenging the assertion that it's part and parcel of 'being a man'.
Just like 'nagging' is not part and parcel of being a woman. 😀

Agree with this. I can't see anything that bad from his behaviour tbh.

Holidays with small kids are an endurance test. Sand, sea, heat, travel, food etc all bloody annoying. But adults can control their emotions for the greater good. I 'don't like' having to go back indoors at 8pm on holiday but that's what life with little kids is. I could shout, sulk and ruin it for everyone but I'm not a dick. This man is making his family pay for his own emotional immaturity.

‘Don’t splash me!’?

He sounds like a bit of a baby.

Also, if he’s getting ‘really angry’ and ‘saying awful things’ to you, do you want that to be how your daughter is raised?

All the children in our family know not to splash other people until invited. Its rude and not very nice.

He Was driving too fast and she was anxious

Op, it sounds as though there is more to this than you are saying. Is your partner always like this?