It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

[Donaldduck22]

My alarm goes off for a 12 hour shift in 7 hours. It's Thursday night. Why are some people so unbelievably inconsiderate.

@Donaldduck22 yes it’s annoying. Mum is a nurse and did shift work like you so I can totally sympathise. I remember me and brother walking past her room in tippy toes trying not to wake her when she was sleeping. But it’s sadly life. You have to accept it. The weather in the UK is not always like this so people have to soak up as much of it to endure the winter (🥴 maybe that’s me projecting). Is there anyone that can take your plugs off after you’ve dozed?

The witching hour?
It's 10pm you absolute muppet. Bold of you to be suggesting others are gaslighting OP when you're literally redefining the meaning of common phrases.

I dont get back from the gym until after 10, and I too have to be up for work in the morning

Disagreeing isn’t gaslighting. Look it up.

Also it depends on your job, if you are selling shots of alcohol in a night club that’s different to being a nurse or operating heavy machinery in a factory ! But regardless of your job, it’s horrible having to go to work being sleep deprived. People should be more considerate, making noise when neighbours are trying to relax or sleep is just anti social any time of day or night. Everyone has the right to enjoy their home in peace . Parties are one off weekend events and advance notice should be given to neighbours out of courtesy and noise off at civilised time. Being a decent human being isn’t hard .

@Donaldduck22 I'll go research and identify a more apt word for behaviour which is being a CF to posters, denying their experience is actually happening to them and instead suggesting they are the problem and their experience is not happening. Erm, one that suitably explains this phenomenon as a one off and not prolonged.

Come on. The line - it's just my opinion - is not an accurate representation of the messed up posts on here. A really common thing on here when a perfectly reasonable experience is turned on its head like the OP's. It is in itself nuts.

Disagreeing is saying something like ' I don't mind this personally. I don't work shifts'.

CF behaviour on here and you absolutely know it. Ripping the OP a new arse because she isn't a tinfoil disposable BBQ front lawn pie head.

It's totally gaslighting - not prolonged. I'll have to thus find something more apt other than that. More eloquent than cunt fuckery perhaps. 🤷

So interesting you say this. When I first heard/read the word I thought this is such a good way to describe what I was going through at the time but I feel like lately the word has lost almost all meaning. A little bit like narcissism. Just my humble opinion.

My house is a tad noisy right now - it’s Prom night - I have 7 kids getting changed for after prom - it’s a one off and I have decent neighbours

you have to be up at 5 - some people work nights and go to bed at 10am - are you silent all day to accommodate their needs

every night it would piss me off as well but once in a while - that’s life with neighbours

Denying her experience and reality as if she is the problem - yes that is.

10pm is a bit early to be getting so wound up. Can you not sleep the other side of the house just for tonight? Fair enough you have to get up early - maybe they get disturbed by your early start, who knows?

Is it perhaps because so many people do it and so many people are high on the narc pathology that it seems overused.

Thats a late tea! What time do you leave for work in the morning ?

Sounds like a you problem

I expect they've gone indoors by now, 10pm is not that late. I hope you are deeply asleep and wake refreshed.

We've been out in the garden every night this week its been lovely

100% agree!!

No, it really isn’t. And bandying this word around like this is really undermining to those who really have suffered this type of abuse.

Hahahaha no way this is real. 10pm. 😂

We were just getting going at 10, but don’t worry we will be in bed by 1.

That’s crazy- are you saying that if I happen to have a neighbour that works night shifts then I am not allowed to enjoy my garden during the day? The children have to tip toe quietly rather than enjoying the summer holidays and having fun in the garden?

I absolutely will not be giving notice to my neighbours for things that are happening in my garden during the day and I wouldn’t complain if my neighbours have loud activities in their garden as long as it is prior to 11pm.

It’s obviously annoying to you, but they are not being unreasonable they are allowed to enjoy their garden and 10pm while late for you isn’t late in general.

I’d have said YABU until my new neighbours moved in 😭

they’ve converted the house next door into a house share type situation for contractors at the new power plant being built. They are so insanely loud and seem to invite the whole of the workforce back for a bbq every night of the week since thy moved in. The (pretty small) garden is rammed fence to fence with men swearing and talking about 500 times louder than necessary, banging into the fence and slamming the back door every 12 seconds. I could just about cope with that if they went in at a sensible time, but they were out there sorting bottles out at 12.30am last night.

My dog only has to sneeze in the garden and I’m worrying he’ll bother someone and I bring him in, why do other people seem to have no awareness 😭

I think you need to just allow this one/two off to happen.

Not gaslighting at all.

OP has not confirmed what sort of noise they’re making? Quietly sitting chatting is fine, full on party not so much.

if I knew my next door neighbour worked nights & they asked me to keep noise down then no I wouldn’t let my kids run screaming round the garden or I’d at least try to get them to play quietly. Weekends are a bit different.

I think giving notice about parties is a considerate neighbourly thing to do. Noise at gone ten pm in garden on weekday is a bit anti social

I'm going to research an appropriate descriptor that reflects the absolute CF behaviour of posters on here - which is not an ' opinion'. In all seriousness, I will see what there is that feels more apt on this level to describe what posters often do.

I know gaslighting very well unfortunately. Denying the reality of someone as if they're not really experiencing this. It's exactly what posters on MN do often. And revel in it. I am going to do some internet research........🤗

But what if your neighbour worked nights at weekends? You children would never be allowed to make any noise in the garden of their entire childhood? Seriously?

also the summer holidays are coming up- I bought a house with a garden so that I could shove them out in the summer. It is completely unreasonable to suggest I am not allowed to use my own property.