It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

[Donaldduck22]

My alarm goes off for a 12 hour shift in 7 hours. It's Thursday night. Why are some people so unbelievably inconsiderate.

Mine are noisy every single day from about 11am onwards, the weather has to be really bad for them to have the back door and the windows shut. In this heat they have the front door open too with visitors arriving at all hours, they shout, they scream, they play tinny sounding music on a phone while leaning out of an upstairs window and chucking fag ends on the pavement. A little bit of noise on a very hot night would be nothing to me, it is too hot for my liking but some people enjoy it. Real problems are when you are in a situation like mine and noise is an everyday problem

I have recently concluded that British people while having lots of other good qualities, are extremely inconsiderate.

Absolutely. It's common decency. Not even with the night shifts. I just wouldn't. I have insomnia so don't even go to bed early and I still empathise completely with OP.

Why do so many people think that 11 pm is some magic hour? There is no law that says you can be as noisy as you like until 11 pm.

it’s a complete myth.

Yep

It's not gaslighting

You are making a mockery of a very serious form of mental abuse

That's worse than anyone who is disagreeing (which is what's happening) is doing

I just got this off the government website

Councils can investigate complaints of statutory nuisance to tackle noise produced at any time of day or night.
They may also issue warning notices in response to complaints about noise above permitted levels from 11pm to 7am. These warning notices can be used by councils for noise that’s not a statutory nuisance.

most garden noise like taking and kids playing is not going to be considered a statutory nuisance
www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints#:~:text=Councils%20can%20investigate%20complaints%20of,that's%20not%20a%20statutory%20nuisance.

Looks like op fell asleep before she could see if the neighbours stayed up past curfew and she could snitch them out to the council (who won't do anything either way).

Op also didn't say what they were actually doing either, if they had drum and bass playing through a subwoofer and and were all screaming then yeah yanbu but most likely they were just drinking a bottle of wine and talking/lauguing which wouldn't constitute any kind of nuisance.

Op you either need to wear ear plugs. Sleep with headphones playing white noise which swaps to an alarm. Buy a daylight alarm. Buy a vibrating alarm. Buy new double glazing. Buy a new house. Or go to a sleep clinic and find out exactly why you're exhausted, grouchy and your sleep quality is so poor you need loads of it.

I have written a few posts now, including this. Allow me the grace to go look up a suitable alternative to people being a total cunt - just to repeat again.

Denying the reality of someone in the form they do on here. And revelling in that. So, again - I really will go see if I can identify something more apt.

If you're a victim of gaslighting, my intent is not to undermine your experience in any way. I mean that with absolute sincerity. 🙏

Then stop using gaslighting to mean "people online have a different opinion to me"

That's the term you need

Gaslighting means making someone question their entire reality, think they are going mad, think they are misreading the situation over a long period.

Just once saying "that's not what happened" or some people online saying "I find it hard to believe you can't hear your alarm if you're such a light sleeper" or "that's not my experience" on one thread is NOT gaslighting

You are seriously undermining and minimising a serious form of abuse and need to just stop arguing that you are right

You think the Spanish, for example, aren't outside chatting at 10pm? It's common to not have even finished dinner at that time. Kids still awake and playing etc.

I could, but I always only get no more 6 hours. I am on the go literally all day long - go to bed at 1am, up at 6.45am and don’t stop until 10.30pm.

Where does being considerate start and stop though really, at this time of year when we have our windows open - some people are out and about at 6am which can disturb people who only get home at midnight; lots of people work all sorts of hours and shifts, but surely they get to enjoy the best t of good weather and time away from work when they can?
if the noise is that much either knock on and complain or shut your window on that side.

It's not that 11pm is some "magic hour"

It's that you can make noise in your garden, that isn't overly loud or a statutory nuisance, until 11 without it being a complaint worthy situation

OP never actually explained what the noise was. She might have different responses if in OP she'd said "my neighbours are having a party with loud music, a bouncy castle and about 40 people there" or "my neighbours are sitting in the garden talking and it's annoying me"

Agree.

Read my posts. If I was so sure my version was correct, I would say to you - no, I'm right and that would be the end of it.

I hear you. I truly hear you.

I am going to look up an alternative descriptor of the behaviour. I believe this is the fourth time I have said that. It isn't a joke btw.

You want me to agree that insidious behaviour which is absolutely not a difference of opinion, is just a difference of opinion. Well, no.

I'm currently researching an appropriate term for the CF behaviour that I see so often during the witching hour on MN.

I hope OP is having the most wonderful sleep and dreams as we debate.....🤞😆

Maybe, just maybe, some people have different work schedules to you - their Thursday could be for Friday for example,
shut your window if the noise of people chatting id too much

Your replies certainly do feel like you are saying "I am right but sure, OK" being as you have kept trying to make it sound like your meaning is correct

You probably should take your own name's advice

Mine regularly make noise in their garden until 4am in summer, along with fire, music, drunken singing, so we can’t leave windows open in warm weather. All reported to the council umpteen times and they won’t do about it. They even said that people can make as much noise as they like unless multiple people complain, but as they back directly onto my bedroom, it’s usually just me complaining.

No no. I am currently looking at all definitions online!.

The behaviour is shitty. It's not a difference of opinion very often when posters do this thing - I will find the right word. This is what I will absolutely disagree with you on,not the aptness of ' gaslighting'.

It's the perfect username I concur entirely. 😆

I'd seriously want to move over this.

It's like anti social behaviour - it takes so so much for any appropriate action even when residents are being terrorised daily. I used to work in the field in London and felt so much for residents who I knew were never going to get a resolution even after months of so much crap from neighbours.

There's actually a film I watched this week based on a horrible nightmare neighbour. Restless it's called. It might be triggering 😬

It's the worst nightmare of decent considerate people because there isn't much to be done.

Edit to add - a friend used to have regular gatherings in the garden like this. I did tell her I'd hate to live anywhere near her - even though the parties were fab.

Then surely you’ll easily sleep through a bit of chat in next door’s garden.

How very dare they

Or why not ask them to turn the noise down

Id be seriously pissed off if the council or police turned up and my neighbour hadn't approached me first