To not send DD10 into sport day tomo..

[SchmortzDay]

For context, DD is very active - she plays for the local girls football club and is part of a swim team and gymnastics club. But she hates sports day with a passion and always seems to be assigned a ‘novelty’ race, which causes her anxiety and embarrassment. She’s asked to be in a normal activity and has been fobbed off 2 years in a row.

She doesn’t have time off ever, hardly ever unwell and I’ve never done something like this before, but given it’s also going to be 30°c here tomo afternoon, I’m inclined to make an exception and let her have a day off at home (‘sick’). She’s a good kid and hasn’t asked for the day off, but I know it would be very well received.

What’s the verdict MN’ers!?

team building shit tends to disappear, but that's a thing in some places. Clients weekends, Conferences, there's no shortage of events you'd avoid if you could. Many Work Christmas parties too!

You would also not make employees run around in the sun in 30degree heat
no, because we're adults, sports clubs and workplace are separated.

In real life, not that many kids pull out of matches and competitions because "sun". They're so keen on making the team, they're there - or all the football and other outdoor events would be cancelled for lack of players.

Teaching her that she doesn’t have to do things she doesn’t like isn’t good parenting.

Keep her off and do something lovely

I vote keep her off and have a lovely day in the garden

What utter bollocks, actually she's very resilient and resourceful, gets up at 5, - alone - to clean out the horses, never misses school even when ill etc etc.

Forcing kids to do some pointless group activity is one of the horrors of school, as adults we forget what it was like to be cooped up in a classroom with a bunch of kids you didn't like and some you did, day after day after day.

It's literally meaningless to miss a sports day, it won't 'build character'. Why not leave it to those who like it?

Give her the day off and have a great time. Enforced public athletic competitive events would no way be put up with by adults - I see no reason to make children do them.

No, but teaching her that she can trust her mother to listen to her and have her back is.

Teaching her that some things are important and mandatory, and some aren't and can be avoided, and some common sense must be used to judge which is which, is.

Teaching her that spending all day outside in the sun when it's very hot out is not healthy, also is.

Teaching her that it's ok to stand up for herself when she feels strongly about something instead of squashing everything down inside will help to save her from an early heart attack.

We force them to do some things and not others all the time, depending on the importance or consequences of the thing in question. Parenting is about using discretion, not following an inflexible one size fits all rule.

It's ridiculous all these kids 'traumatised' by sports day.

Absolutely. My missed sports days have meant I only have a first in one of my 2 degrees 😭

Im normally a ‘unless you’re vomiting or bleeding from the eyes you go to school) kind of mother but I let DD2 miss her year 6 swim gala. She’d been to every other one, came last in everything and just fucking hated it.

She was happy, nobody died and she can swim perfectly well, shes just slow and self conscious. I vote for letting her stay off.

Huh?!

How is it dragging the team down? No competitor in an event means no points. If you enter someone, you get a point even if they come last!

I had a tutor group a few years ago with VERY sporty boys who I had to negotiate with over who did what, and girls who ignored the sign up sheet. Except it was a TEAM event, and if the girls didn't enter events, then they got no points at all which the boys were so annoyed about.

After some persuasion we got a full team, and I made it very clear that even if they came last, we'd have a laugh and I was proud of them for trying. And if we didn't come last in every event, then even better!

One girl who hated sports actually went and won the shotput, they got 3rd in the relay, and the ONLY event we ended up last in was 1500m where I ended up jogging round with her and we got a huge cheer at the end. They ended up having such a laugh and I was so proud of them all.

Only one girl decided not to turn up and pulled a sickie, and she missed out on the team spirit and felt quite left out the next day when they were all chatting and laughing about it. She actually joined in the following year.

Not everyone has to actually do anything. Those not competing just support everyone else.

And yes it DOES work like that in real life.

My DC are supposed to be doing sports day tomorrow but it's been cancelled as it's so hot. I'd be surprised if yours went ahead.

Rubbish!

I work in school attendance and I'd phone the school and say she has a high temp 😉Nothing will happen, one day of absence is not the end of the world.

I hated swimming at school, my mum always excused me from it. I'm in my 50's now and always grateful my mum did that for me.

Oh ffs. 🙄 All of the generations of people who hated sports day have done fine as adults but they’ve always remembered the humiliation. That stays. Good on those parents who prevented their children from doing something uncomfortable, unnecessary and public.

I’d keep her at home. If she’s asked and been refused then that’s different to just being upset about it. She’s already been proactive in asking. Pick your battles. There are better times and places to build resilience.

Keep her home.

Oh - and thing where you cheer on the kid coming last and it's all lovely and wholesome? Sometimes that kid will be grateful. Sometimes the kid will hate the whole smug patronising lot of you with the heat of a thousand suns.

If she is in a swim club can she nominate herself for some field events like discus?

Performing in public - sports day, school play, whatever - should be a choice. A choice of activity (which race, go for a star part or be in the chorus). Those who don't want to perform should have a choice of other roles to make the event go well and contribute to the overall day just as much as the performers.

If she wants the day off, let her. You don't build resilience through forced humiliation.

Of course she has to go im. Its sports day and every day of her life as an adult she may be asked to do things she doesn't want to.

Don't make a big deal of it and she'll be fine.

As an adult I have the freedom to find a job that fits my abilities and interests. School is all too often 'one size fits all'. Yes, I occasionally have to put up with a rather boring team day. If my manager decided e.g. we should all go rock climbing as a team building activity I would be looking for another job.

Love the spelling test analogy @2025mustbebetter 😁

God I can’t wait until there is a new buzz word - how you poor sods in education deal with constant “resiliencing” I do not know! Im just a parent and am heartily sick of it. Everytime I hear that word I know the speaker is parroting bull shit!