To not send DD10 into sport day tomo..

[SchmortzDay]

For context, DD is very active - she plays for the local girls football club and is part of a swim team and gymnastics club. But she hates sports day with a passion and always seems to be assigned a ‘novelty’ race, which causes her anxiety and embarrassment. She’s asked to be in a normal activity and has been fobbed off 2 years in a row.

She doesn’t have time off ever, hardly ever unwell and I’ve never done something like this before, but given it’s also going to be 30°c here tomo afternoon, I’m inclined to make an exception and let her have a day off at home (‘sick’). She’s a good kid and hasn’t asked for the day off, but I know it would be very well received.

What’s the verdict MN’ers!?

What's a thest?

Sports Day is completely irrelevant. It doesn't matter. It's incomparable to maths, or exams. You aren't going to add, "Came third in the sack race" to your CV.

@ByJoyousBiscuitGCSE’s and exams are important for their future, a one day primary school sporting challenge is not 😊 ridiculous comparison.

It was a big deal when I was a kid started primary school in 1989. So this isn't a recent trend.

I’d totally keep her at home and wouldn’t feel guilty! Like you say it’s boiling hot too and it teaches her life’s too short to just go along with something you don’t like

Reading this thread has made me realise that this was the start of my slippery slope. You're all right, by 12 I was sniffing aerosols around the back of the library, by 16 was bunking off my GCSEs and by 19 was on the dole and popping pills to deal with daily life. The rot started here and I blame my mum (who was a teacher and should have foreseen my decline). Shit.

(Possibly untrue)

Well I let my elder one miss a few sports days she’s aced her GCSE’s and A levels popular at her part time job is lovely and sporty with lots of nice friends off to a great university in sept having done a year of independent travel. So a couple of missed sports days at primary has not done any harm so far anyway!

It's not about children being anxious about losing a race, these same children can be perfectly happy to do races and sports in PE but have anxiety around the performance in front of screaming adults.

Not everyone loves to be the centre of attention and for people who don't like it there is a lot more value in slowly building up performative experiences than in one huge blow out event.

Sports day isn't really about the kids.

You can't have it both ways.

Either it's fine not to force them to do something they don't want, or it's not.
At least be consistent.

All the secondary schools I know have sports day, it doesn't stop in Primary School?

At secondary the good ones choose to take part the others watch. It’s only primary that enforces universal athletics.

If you can’t see the difference between a primary sports day and maths gcse there’s no hope for you really.

I am raising kids that are chilled about both, and don't get ridiculous anxiety and panic about anything and everything. It helps them with their exams too. It's sports day, such a non event and not a big deal.

At secondary the good ones choose to take part the others watch.
also, that's not true. Maybe in your school, but not here.

Can we have a 'sociopaths corner' for anyone who uses the word snowflake to describe children.

I think it’s also important to teach children that their feelings matter and they shouldn’t be forced into an event that they don’t want to do.

either you believe this, or you are an hypocrite and just tell your kids their feelings matter ONLY when they match with what you think is important or not.
Can't have it both ways.

We feel like this about sports day tbh. My daughter does participate but she doesn't particularly enjoy it. Her school doesn't take physical activity seriously on any level whereas she is a physical and active child for the most part and is involved in competition. She finds the whole attitude towards PE and sports day just to be an extension of how physical activity is seen as leas important than almost everything else in the world. There's being silly and then there's calling jumping in and out of hula hoops laid on the ground and calling it 'sport'.

Maths is important. Unless you enjoy it, competitive sport is irrelevant.

You are so weirdly literal joy. Most of us manage to be more nuanced and work out which things are important in life and which aren’t. You are so all or nothing - life isn’t like that.

If an event that’s supposed to be fun and is of minimal importance is actually making your child miserable why on earth would you force them to go? It doesn’t mean you never make them do anything they don’t want to ever again. Why do you keep repeating “you can’t have it both ways”. So odd.

Will she expect mummy to lie for her to duck out of everything she dislikes for the rest of her life? Clear why so many young adults expect the world to revolve around them.

Yeah in real life it doesn't work like that though! You're forced to do something you already know you're crap at, which means you drag the rest of the team down and they don't say "ah what a useful team building exercise". Quite the opposite, in fact. Divisive and unpleasant.

As others have pointed out, those who are crap at spelling or maths don't tend to have to stand up in front of the whole school, including parents, and display their weakness. Why should those who aren't good at sports be put to this humiliation?

I was quite sporty in other ways but a hopelessly, ridiculously slow runner. Puberty didn't help when I got big boobs and a mother who wouldn't have dreamed of investing in a sports bra and was forced to run up and down with them flopping about like big pants on a washing line on a windy day. Coming last at something I already knew I couldn't do and didn't enjoy in front of everyone did NOT in any way teach me resilience/team spirit or any of the other trite bullshit that people trot out about sports day. Nor did it help me learn to run fast. It taught me that I wanted to avoid team events and competitive sports, surely the opposite of what people say sports day is designed to do!

For those who enjoy it, crack on. I'm happy for you. Leave the rest of us in peace.

@SchmortzDay Give your daughter the day off.

The 'update' that came when not everyone was supporting her!

It literally is though. As an employer, you absolutely would not make an employee participate in an event they were not comfortable participating in. You would also not make employees run around in the sun in 30degree heat. I don’t see why children are constantly forced to do stuff under the guise of ohhh well they need to be ready for the working world… what working world in 2025?

My mum kept me off once to avoid a one off class doing something I dreaded. This was over 40 years ago and I still remember that decision with gratitude. Let her have the day off.

Let her have the day off. I wish I’d been brave enough to tell my mum how much I hated sports day in primary school.
I don’t think I’ve ever been as miserable as the end of primary, all the mean girl stuff reaching its peak, sports day was the absolute worst, and it’s hot.

Exactly. God know what the employment future holds for our kids what with with AI and dire jobs prospects for graduates. But no doubt those who took part in the sack race aged 10 will at least be fine 🙄. Let them have a happy childhood at least.

I have nothing but miserable memories of primary school sports day and glorious memories of the time my dad took a day off work and took me to the Tower of London instead.

My dad, by the way, was incredibly sporty. He was a county level athlete at school, played competitive squash, badminton and table tennis, played five-aside football well into his 50s and was a really good long distance runner. He absolutely believed in sport and competition and being active.

He didn’t, however, believe in making kids do pointless shit like the sack race if they absolutely hate it. His attitude was that yes, we do indeed have to do important things in life that we despise, and for that reason we should keep the unimportant ones to an absolute minimum because life is really bloody short and childhood is even shorter. I really, really, REALLY hated school sports (I’m dyspraxic but didn’t know at that point) and used to get so anxious about sports day that it gave me stomach cramps.

Anyway. I got to bunk off sports day and instead went to the Tower of London with my dad on the Tube. It was brilliant; I absolutely loved it, learnt tons of history, fell in love with the ravens, had a good discussion about whether we should abolish the monarchy (we decided we should), got bought a sticker book about the Tudors and had a cheeseburger and a Coke float in a Wimpy Bar.

what a great dad!

Hopefully you managed to live a half decent productive life and not one of lazy degeneracy caused by missing primary sports?!