To not send DD10 into sport day tomo..

[SchmortzDay]

For context, DD is very active - she plays for the local girls football club and is part of a swim team and gymnastics club. But she hates sports day with a passion and always seems to be assigned a ‘novelty’ race, which causes her anxiety and embarrassment. She’s asked to be in a normal activity and has been fobbed off 2 years in a row.

She doesn’t have time off ever, hardly ever unwell and I’ve never done something like this before, but given it’s also going to be 30°c here tomo afternoon, I’m inclined to make an exception and let her have a day off at home (‘sick’). She’s a good kid and hasn’t asked for the day off, but I know it would be very well received.

What’s the verdict MN’ers!?

Let her stay home.

Completely agree. People on here acting like if she doesn’t take part she will never be able to function in the workplace or in secondary! Sometimes there is definitely a case for saying no and not doing what others think you ought to be doing. This is one of them

To all the PP commenting about how will she ever learn if you ‘save her’ - I hear you! But I also redirect you to my previous post. She’s had a lot of resilience building for the last few years with the bullying and the ADHD pathway we’re on. So I’m not especially worried she will be demanding days off left, right and centre.

Usually, I’m a fairly strict parent with this sort of stuff - hence the dilemma. But sometimes I wonder about parenting the child I have and actually listening to how she is feeling, rather than making her entire life one long learning curve of resilience.

May it be that she is considered too good, or too "professional" for the normal races, and the teacher is trying to balance the field somehow by moving her to the "novelty"?

@SchmortzDay our school did sports training for sports day. So dc ran different distances etc. The best were then selected to represent each House for the serious sports. The others did various races like the body race. I cannot tell you how loud the encouragement was for each house’s team to win the non sporty races. Deafening. The points mattered and all dc felt part of the effort for the House.

In your case, how do dc get chosen for races? How do teachers know who is good and who isn’t a racer? DD1 was happy not to be last in a race!

In the circumstances you have described I would keep her home too, and I was always one for building resilience with my kids in areas outside of their comfort zone.
Plus, 30 degree heat and the best part of a couple of hours on a school field in the blazing sunshine. What could possibly go wrong? Surely the school should be looking at moving it to a cooler day when the Metoffice is issuing heat warnings.

scrap sports day ? Skive off ?

childhood obesity
addiction to screens
is rife
cost of living, increased kids with anxiety means less participation in after school clubs
less parents willing to volunteer for youth groups / sports clubs -
reduced PE offers in the curriculum…
yeah, sports day, what a waste of time, let um stay home… don’t know why school bothers with these ld fashioned ideas like sports days !!!

it’s embarrassing doing the 3 legged race,
she never wins
its gonna be hot

then we all wonder why we have a generation of anxious snowflakes coming up ????

Presumably every school has its own format- for example, my kids primary school has 4 houses and on sports day they all take part in the same activities on a rolling basis, so they get to do them all

My kids are saying they hope all the class are there on the day/especially the ones from their house, so they hopefully have more chance of their house being victorious on the day

🤣

I don't understand though why you haven't spoken to the teachers about it though.
I am assuming it's different teachers each year, so maybe they don't remember that she did a novelty event last year.
There may be a reason for allocating her a novelty race - you mention anxiety and maybe at school if she shows anxiety in PE, rather than thinking it's because of doing something novelty, they think that it's because she is anxious of being last hence trying to give her a more fun option.
I would certainly have asked the teacher how it was decided who was doing what - it may be that her friend wanted her to do the wheelbarrow race with them, so maybe your daughter actually agreed at the time?
Unless you speak to the teacher though they aren't going to know there was an issue and surely this could have been sorted as soon as you found out rather than leaving it til the day before.

Generally I’d say send her in. But your update gives more context, to be honest, I’d let her skip it.

What the hell, let her have the day off if she wants. It won't ruin her.

Do it, what’s she learning? That mum listens to her and advocates for her. I say good for you xxx

😊

I’ve let my child off for sports day too before. Do it.

Im giving my daughter the day off tomorrow because she's burnt out. ND with other complex issues. Don't worry about what others think, do what you know is right for your child. Who cares if some strangers on the Internet disagree, it doesn't effect them either way.

I would keep her off and I am someone who doesn’t approve of people who take their children out for germ time holidays. The point is that she will not be missing any education. Schools fail to understand that not all children think sports day is fun. A while ago now, but my children’s idea of a fun day at school would have been maths, chemistry and physics all day but as a previous poster pointed out they never go to do that competitively.

I'm a teacher.
Sports day is shite and it's ridiculous in this weather. Keep her off.

Hear, hear.

The posters saying school will have made adjustments for the heat. Hmmm I guess you’ve not been anywhere near a school recently!

Generally the buildings aren’t made for the heat and are roasting. The outside space usually has very little shade. My friends kids got heatstroke at sports day last year.

Keep her off

No, I think people have always felt like that about sports day. My children did and they were bought up without screens and did sporting activities outside of school.

Yes I have 🙋🏻‍♀️ most days of the week I’m dropping/collecting my DC from their primary school

Our head teacher has emailed parents today to outline the plan for managing in the heat on sports day

Each to their own, but I’m not keeping my kids off school just because it’s got very warm in summer

The PP saying no because she would be letting her team down, this could be reframed as she is giving her team mates a valuable opportunity to build up resilience by their team not winning.

Let her stay off. Sports days are almost always made awful by some overinvested parents acting like little Timmy is in the Olympic final.

First post nails it. There will be occasions in life where you have to do “silly” things with a laugh. The silly ice breaker game at a work event, wearing the silly t shirt for a friends’ hen do, etc. Important to learn not to take them too seriously and have a bit of a laugh (or at least pretend to) without freaking out.

Why make a big deal of it? just go to school, do what you can. enjoy watching friends enjoy their selves. Have an ice-cream afterwards.
An egg and spoon race on a sunny afternoon never traumatised anyone yet. Nor did the Parent's race!
Lets build resilience not snowflakes.