DP is very ‘hands on‘ in public and I feel embarrassed

[RachSmit]

My partner is a touchy feely person - I liked this at first as it was affectionate and not over the top. Over time though, this has become more public and I feel like it’s gone too far. I’d mentioned this and he stopped but it has creeped in again and I fear that’s just who he is.

It has developed to things like groping/pinching my bum in a queue despite people being near by, and coming up behind me if I was bent over to pick something up to pretend to hump me.

Yesterday we were walking back to the car after a shop and he slapped it loudly enough for a couple of people near by to turn around. I told him in the car on the way back that it was embarrassing they looked and he said they were just jealous they can’t do it themselves.

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is but I don’t think I can put up with it for much longer. Do you agree it’s over the top now? Has anyone else had a partner like this and any tips to dealing with it?

It's sexual assault and he knows you don't like it, but he continues. He sees you as an object that he can do anything to and he's being an exhibitionist to show everyone around you that he controls you. Not only is it massively disrespectful, it's abusive.

No one is jealous of him. He's an immature abusive ass

Just scream loudly every time, he’ll soon stop.

Jesus Christ. He pretends to hump you and slaps your bum loudly, in public, and you’re worried about hurting his feelings?!

He is treating you like a piece of meat. Tell him to stop.

Uh, I had one who’s behaviour reminded me of Benny Hill, didn’t last long.

🤣. Do this OP.

It’s about ownership, often.

I am not bothered by PDA but I AM bothered by partners who ignore my “no”.

His disregard for what you repeatedly ask him
to stop doing is disturbing.

groping/pinching my bum in a queue despite people being near by, and coming up behind me if I was bent over to pick something up to pretend to hump me.

You think this is "just who he is"?

No. It's a choice he makes every time he behaves in such a disrespectful and Neanderthal way.

What an absolute prick.

Sorry, but violating your boundaries isn't affectionate. It's controlling behaviour and treating you like property.

He sounds utterly disgusting. Every women who sees him do this to you is cringing at your lack of self respect. Get out. I know nothing about you but I know you are worth more than this.

He's is doing it so everyone sees you are "his" if he could get away with his dick swinging he probably would do that instead ! Your feelings matter it is not a compliment you don't like it he needs to stop

and coming up behind me if I was bent over to pick something up to pretend to hump me.

There is not enough ick in the world. Incredibly disrespectful.

He needs dumping

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is but I don’t think I can put up with it for much longer.

Your rights over your body trump his feelings and unwillingness to “express who he is.”

It's disrespectful and creepy

And showing 'ownership'

It's nothing to do with affection

Absolutely repugnant and disrespectful as you have asked him to stop.

If I saw him slap your bum jealousy is not want I’d be feeling. I’d be grossed out. It’s all a bit Benny Bill/Page 3/On the Buses. Yuck!

All these interactions are less affectionate and more sexual, and it's a bit cringey in public when you stop being a teen 😅 hand holding, a loving embrace, a kiss would surely show more love and affection than a slapped arse?

He sounds vile. It's not affectionate if you have said you don't like it and he is continuing to do so.

No one wants to see anyone else being handled like that. No one is jealous of it.

He is trying to show his power and control over you. There is nothing appealing about it. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

I would not like that one bit and you need to tell him in no uncertain terms, NO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. He can confine it to holding hands or putting arm around your shoulders where appropriate but no more.

I don’t think doing similar back to him would be any good (obviously I wouldn’t do it anyway) - he said he and his ex could be ‘exhibitionists’ so I think he’d welcome it!

How long have you been with him???

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is

But if he's a sleazy creep who doesn't give a toss about how it makes you feel it's good to suppress it? Why do you care about his feelings when he clearly doesn't give a damn about yours?

I'd be moving away from him every time and saying 'we've discussed this and you know I don't like it'.

If he says he can't help himself, well only you can decide if it's your red line. It would be mine, it would give me the ick.

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is

He needs suppressing! Your feelings are hurt, that matters. He's doing something to your body that he knows you don't like.

It's a sign of ownership. What's he like in other areas of your life, does he like to have his own way, choose what to eat, what to watch, where to go etc?

Shout out "keep your hands to yourself you pervert"

How old is he? He sounds like a schoolboy.