Found out my family hid my Husband’s behaviour from me for the last 2 years

[Emily877]

This happened at the weekend so it’s still raw and I’m struggling to know what to do.

I found out from my Sister that my husband made a pass at her two years ago and he has also made various comments to her over the past two years.

Our Mum has been aware of this from the first incident but sworn my Sister to secrecy as between them they believed I was better off not knowing and that no good would come from telling me.

This all came out when the three of us were on a girls trip at the weekend and my sister took offence to something I said about her partner. She snapped back at me by telling me about my H and they eventually came clean with the full story.

My H has confessed to this and is desperately pleading with me to save our marriage. He is putting it down to alcohol and begging me not to leave him.

I am utterly furious with him but also my mum and sister. They’ve watched me spend the past two years with someone knowing what he did and tried to pass it off ‘as in my best interests’.

They have both tried contacting me and I’ve had a long message saying how I’m being stubborn and need to look at this more logically.

The DH gets a warning after SIL tells OP about the several times he has been sexually inappropriate to her and her, what do we think the OP would have done if she was told
when it was only once??

Really?
You would forgive that your family would prefer you to be with a sleazy pervert and that this is the fate they wish for you? It was not a difficult situation to nagivate at all.

Whatever happens to you in future OP, I guess some people love being humiliated, enjoy. You can tell yourself it's for the good of the kids, but Im sure you know it's not true.

Wow. So you've blamed the messenger and the victim of harassment and forgiven the unfaithful sleazeball. Interesting priorities.

Wow. So you've blamed the messenger and the victim of harassment and forgiven the unfaithful sleazeball. Interesting priorities.

So OP has decided to stick with the scumbag for more punishment. Don't worry people this is why some of us do not tell - women like the OP do not really want to know. She will keep making excuse until something blows up in her face and she cannot ignore it any longer.

OP won’t be back on this thread I reckon. But she will no doubt need to seek more advice when his behaviour just gets worse …

I knew you would stay (I even posted that) and I suspect your sister and mum knew that too, which is why they never told you.

For the sake of our children
No @Emily877 , you aren't staying for the good of the children, you are staying for your own selfish reasons and you need to admit that to yourself. What person can possibly think children are better off being raised by a sex pest? Name me just one person :/

He'll end up fired because he is a sleaze and sexually harrasses someone at work.
You should ask your friends if he's sleazy to them. And any other female who is around for any parties etc. Also if you have any friends who have pulled back and don't visit any more.

No way he started with your sister. That is bold and a man who thinks he is untouchable. As you just proved.

Let's be clear, he'll cheat in a heartbeat if the woman he sleazes on is favourable to the approach.

You need to process what your husband has done.

if your sister had given him the green light, he would have slept with her.

this will be the tip of the iceberg… if he’s doing that with your sister, what’s he doing elsewhere?

You’re angry with the wrong people here.