For letting my son go to his friends house

[MummyToMNandR]

Hello

I let my son go over to his friends house after school just for an hour and a half, they have become very close in school since him starting in September.

I see mum every single morning, I wouldn’t say class her as a friend yet, we usually have a short conversation then she goes about her day.

This afternoon whilst at pick up, she said “you can ask M if he would like to come over for an hour or so” then she looked at me and said that he has been wanting to ask him for a while now, only if that’s okay with you.

My son was happy and said yes, then asked me if it would be okay.

Bearing in mind, my son suffers from anxiety and has been going through a rough time recently, regarding being outside/new environments/ people etc.

So I obviously didn’t want to say no, because it would be a huge step for him to come out of his comfort zone.

She asked if I wanted to come with him, but I didn’t think it would be appropriate especially when I had my other two children with me, she gave me her mobile number, and I insisted that her and her son got into my car so I could drop them home, just for a peace of mind.

My son enjoyed the short time he spent at his friends house, and asked if he could come over to ours tomorrow and I sort of said yes.

The issue now is my Husband, I didn’t think he’d be home because he went out, when I got home he asked where our son was, I told him that he’d gone round to his friends and I would go and collect him soon.

He wasn’t happy and told me to go and get him, l said I would go and get him in a hour and half and that I don’t understand what the problem is, when actually I do.

He told me that my sons friends are not to come over to the house and he is not going over there, and I always let it go over my head and say to myself “whatever”

When I got back with our son, the first thing my husband said “didn’t I tell you, that you’re not to go over to peoples houses” my son answered “I know Dad, I’m sorry but I did want to go there” he then went on to say “You don’t listen, but you’re going to learn”

Neither my son or I fear him or are scared of him; he went out soon after and will not answer his phone, every time we have a disagreement he leaves the house and it makes me believe that he goes and sleeps with someone else.

Was I being unreasonable for letting my son go to his friends house? Because I don’t want to apologise to him and make things right, our son should be able to go over to his friends houses and they should be able to come here.

I will be inviting him and mum over tomorrow after school, or do you think that is going to make matters worse?

@MummyToMNandR

You do you OP! 🤷‍♀️ Sounds like you’re got it all figured out.

As a parent this seems so odd to me. You're fine not being with your toddler because he's happy enough without you where he is? Your kids are already at risk of extreme mental health issues because of what's been happening in their childhoods, please don't make it any worse for them!

Is anyone else thinking that when the OP got to a point where people were losing interest, that her 'story' suddenly developed and her husband left her, but then he's back again, and she won't call the police, and she'll let him do whatever he wants with the children. She's even prepared to give one away by the sound of things, and doesn't want legal advice. I also think in spite of all her 'I can give up drinking anytime I want', that she was probably pissed when her husband turned up last night which is why she ended up letting her in. If her 'story' is even remotely true, they sound like they're as bad as each other. Seems to me, like this is all a way of the OP amusing herself, and making herself feel important, and possibly even thinking that she's popular, because she's getting so many people responding to her posts.

This whole thread reminds me of a comment I heard recently “this isn’t even he says it’s black she says it’s white, this is he says it’s black and she says it’s a microwave”.

Every single person on this thread says it’s black, OP says it’s a microwave.

I have to agree, I really find the whole thing very bizarre. I think she has a massive drink problem which she really needs to address.

Yes, he loves spending time at his nans house, remember he has two other siblings so whilst he is there he is getting all the attention.

I have not gave away one of my children, don't your children spend time away at their grandparents house? if not, could you please tell me why not?

This is my life, nothing about it is remotely amusing, and also why would I want to feel popular amongst strangers? that really doesn't make any sense.

And no I wasn't drunk last night, I do not get drunk two bottles of wine could never get me tipsy. There is a reason why I do not drink stronger spirits because certain drinks tend to make me tipsy very quickly and I would never ever get myself into that kind of state.

Do you have a bond with your three year old @MummyToMNandR ?
I just remember you saying you put him in nursery full time and it all seems a bit odd.

If your husband tries to go for full custody of the children, already having one there will be a plus point for the courts I would think, plus the drinking and physical abuse.

Do you want custody of all three?

Yes of course I have a bond with him, why wouldn't I?

I do not understand what's odd about putting him into full time nursery, he loves it there.

My husband wouldn't go for custody of the children, why would he?

Exactly this, you've handed over the 3 yr old. I wouldn't be surprised if the court looks negatively on this. Get legal advice ASAP.
Oh and stating that 2 bottles of wine doesn't get you drunk isn't the brag you think it is.
You're going to end up with SS involvement.

I have not handed him over, my husband took him when it left to go to his mums.

Are you

1. Drunk
2. Naive
3. A bit stupid
4. Deluded

I can't see any other reasons for you not getting this.

1. All of the above

You are splitting up with him, you've handed him over. Do you think your husband is going to behave normally? Have you forgotten why you started this thread. I never thought my ex would do the things he did so prepare yourself. Open your eyes, get your head out of the clouds, get legal advice and get your arse to AA.

He doesn't believe that I am splitting up with him, he said he'll give me space and time. I told him not to come back here when he left this evening, but no doubt will he be back tomorrow.

Seriously people, I really do think this is all made up. When she loses control of the thread, she suddenly produces a man friend who agrees with us all, and apologises for her rudeness. The next thing we know, she starts getting nasty again, people start losing interest, so then we introduce the 'My husband's left me' story, to make us feel sorry for her. He's taken one of her children with him, but she seriously thinks he'll give him back when she wants him. She states that 'I have not handed him over, my husband took him when he left to go to his mums', but she thinks that's normal in a break up???? Most Mothers would be having kittens if their husband had said he was leaving them, and took one of the kids with him, because they know that the chances of getting a child back under these sort of circumstances, are slim to none! But she says 'I am going to let our 3 year old stay where he is, he is happy there.' Which no loving mother would EVER say when in the middle of a relationship break up. Then suddenly her husband is back, and he's going to stay, although he still hasn't brought her son back! Then he's left again. She claims that 2 bottles of wine doesn't affect her, I've never known anyone, other than an alcoholic who could drink 2 WHOLE BOTTLES OF WINE, and not be affected in any way. I call Bull Shit to this whole post!

With bells on

The more i think about it I'd love to hear the husbands side of the story.

OP saying that drinking two bottles of wine doesn’t make you drunk doesn’t make you sound less like an alcoholic, it makes you sound very much like one.

The tolerance needed to have that amount of alcohol in one sitting and not be drunk is very, very unusual and reserved for people who have serious alcohol issues. That’s about 20 units in one sitting.

What the actual fuck is this thread?

Appalling, appalling people.

Those poor hopefully fictional children

I hope they are fictional too.

It’ll be full soon. Hopefully that’s an end to it and this person goes away. I don’t think a poster has ever irritated me quite this much.

I’ve reported it twice (imagine countless others have too) and yet the batshittery continues.
You’d rather hope this shit is made up!

Yeah I really hope it's made up.

How are things going @MummyToMNandR? I hope you and your boys are alright.