To be upset at what DH wrote in my birthday card?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

"I'm very fond of you." 22 years married! No 'I love you'.

As this is AIBU, I fully expect half of you to say I should be grateful to have a DH who even gives me a birthday card and who is fond of me. Whilst the other half will say he's checked out of the marriage and I should LTB.

But honestly, how would you feel?

I wouldn't mind. This is a silly thing dh and I might say to each other. Do you feel loved and appreciated in general?

what does he normally put then?

It depends on what he would normally write. Eg..my dh always writes about how happy I make him and how much he loves me, so it would be weird if he suddenly changed that to "fond of".

I don't think it was meant as a joke but I should ask.

Eugh!! I would find this just…odd! Who even talks like this?? Weird!

I think that is dreadful. It’s possibly Maya Angelou who writes a poem about being told someone was fond of her. She comments that is something you would say to a dog. I’ll look for it.

It was probably a joke. I joke with DH like this

it is a bit weird. Did he also say ‘best wishes’ or ‘kind regards’ 🤣

Fond is a word I'd use about a dear friend, not a DH.

You know your DH best, is this likely to have been a cheeky thing or would he normally be gushing.

My DH and I often say "I really like you" instead of love because we love that we like each other 😂

If he suddenly went too far either side I'd be on alert.

Yeah I’d be a bit 🤨 too op. ‘Fond’ is a downgrade. YANBU.

I’d be more surprised if it said anything beyond “Happy birthday, from DH” 😂

But seriously, wouldn’t bother me.

I'd take it as a joke and feel secure..... why didn't you ask?

I had one that said I was his best friend once & I didn’t like that much either!
Do you feel he loves you from his actions or are things abit meh generally?

Is it not just an ironic joke, after 22 years id say he's probably more than fond of you.

That's a very luke warm sentiment, unless he meant it as a joke.

My last one said, 'you make a very good sandwich', which we both thought was funny and much more meaningful than 'I love you'.

This reminds of the card Alan Sugar once sent his wife for her birthday "Best wishes, Alan". She very nearly divorced him!

Fond”

You said you were fond of me.
Like I was a footstool.
Or a well-behaved spaniel
that doesn’t jump on guests.

Fond.
Not passionate.
Not taken, nor smitten,
not even mildly captivated.
Just —
fond.

Like I’m a flavour you don’t mind,
a song you hum but never learn the words to,
a cushion that’s always there,
but never quite your favourite.

You said it like a kindness
but it landed like a shrug.
Like you were offering a biscuit
to a dog who’d begged too long.

I wanted wild.
I wanted trembling hands
and a voice that caught on my name.
I wanted
you.

But you said you were fond of me.
Like you’d say to a garden gnome
you never asked for,
but now can’t be bothered to move.

If he’s serious, I would consider this a problem. People are fond of places they visit, certain foodstuffs, not their spouse. You know him - are you two in a good place, or are there issues…

I would massively take the piss out of my DH if he did that! 'Seriously DH? Fond? Surely you meant fondle?'

My last card to my other said “You’re alright ya know.”

He usually says “ditto” or “just about yourself”.

we are great together! Lots of banter!

id be weirded out if he wrote serious love sentences in a card but i guess it depends what your relationship is like and what sort of banter you do

I’d be gutted furious and worried. I am “fond” of my teens friends not my flipping husband

I'd imagine it was a jokey type thing, but then I don't know him or your relationship, but I can't say anything, I tend to put things down like 'another day closer to death' or birthday cards, obviously not to anyone under 12 but after that, it's open season!
(joke!)

I'd think it was someone being a bit jokey because just writing 'I love you' seems a bit crap and pointless.