To wonder if quality home cooking for friends is a lost art?

[Jumpupjumphigh]

There have been a couple of threads recently about the decline in quality:price ratio when eating out in the UK. To which all I can say is: I thoroughly agree! For some time now I've largely given up on going to restaurants. The mid-priced ones are more and more tending towards microwaved crap that is far below what I can cook at home for a fraction of the price, and I can't afford the posh ones.

But here's the thing: When I first progressed from studenthood to "proper" adulthood, myself and my friends had proper jobs etc, it was common for people to invite each other for dinner parties in their houses, make an effort and cook proper quality food. I still do that. I'm certainly no famous chef, but I research and practise styles of cookery that interest me and people are impressed when I cook for them. It costs some effort and money but it always makes the starting point for a great evening.

But although I have friends that like to meet up for other things, and do invite me to their houses, they almost never host dinner parties. Maybe an informal lunch where everybody brings something "pot luck" style at best. Is this because the art of proper cooking outside of a business relationship has largely died? Or is it just that particular kind of social event that is seen as old fashioned now? Or do I just not have the right friends?

Do other people still get invited to dinner parties?

My circle still do this all the time. 🤷‍♀️

I also regret the decline of the dinner party. I suppose it was on the decline anyway and then with Covid it came to a complete full stop. I think life is busier and more intense in general - and cooking from scratch is less of a thing now that you can get meals delivered to your door.

We do, but they come for supper or lunch and it's far less formal. It's kitchen/family room/garden based rather than the dining room which we only use at Christmas nowadays. Perhaps it will come back. I hope so.

Things might revert for my generation as we retire and have more time. 65 and, yes, we had dinner parties for friends until we had children in the mid/late 90s. Sometimes in the noughties and a bit later I had to do stuff for older business colleagues/contacts of DH but I was working full time again and if we did it at home, I had a caterer come in.

I often cook for friends. Not like formal dinner parties, but cook a dinner and have friends over

It’s something I did pre covid, but not since. We have family over, either for a roast or a bbq, which isn’t the same thing. I’ve noticed that these days people can be uncomfortable if they feel you’ve gone to trouble or made much effort at all, and would prefer to order in a takeaway.

I miss the dinner party!

But other forms of socialising recovered after Covid. Like going to shite restaurants and paying half a week's wages to have somebody stick something in a microwave.

I used to do it but have completely lost my confidence with it. I feel like my cooking is inadequate and my house not nice enough. I am not on social media but I feel because everything is so curated people have such high expectations. Also I used to do it a lot before having kids but their fussy eating habits has ruined my love of cooking.

The vast majority of new build houses this century don't have a dining room and definitely not space for a decent size dining table (6+ people). I imagine thats adding to the reluctance for a number of people.

We love hosting and having people over but we have friends who cannot reciprocate because of this who feel awkward about constantly coming to us and it does limit it somewhat.

I have friends over for dinner at least once a month. Often large groups. I love cooking as do lots of my friends.

We still do this. Though since we had our third baby I’ll admit we sometimes will host with short cuts like a cheese and wine night, or pay for takeaway, or host a barbecue. I do sometimes cook properly but do try to make it on the easier side like a lasagne or roast chicken. Says more about me 😴than our friends though as they’re excellent cooks (which I really appreciate)! *just to add I do cook for the family properly but by the time I’m done polishing the house for guests post work week I just want to relax!

Maybe I just need to find some new friends.

We used to host dinner parties all the time. 3 course meal, with the table set nicely with chargers and candles!

We stopped because of covid, and it giving us the break we needed to realise how one sided the effort was with so many friends. The shopping and expense, prep, tidying and cleaning the house, washing up afterwards - we were doing it and not getting asked over in return, so we sacked it off.

We had friends over only yesterday for a bbq. They have had us over many times, so it's worth cooking for them. But we only ever keep it informal these days.

I agree OP. In my late 20’s and through 30’s we invited people for dinner all the time and were invited back. It was a regular.

I still did it, but not as often, until lockdown. I think that put a stop to it.

Post lockdown I even pulled back on cooking for extended family.

I did it a fair bit in my 20s, but much less often now. My friends are quite widely dispersed across the outer London suburbs and it's easier to meet somewhere on public transport. Also, those of us with young kids don't really have the kind of space where you can put them to bed and they won't be disturbed by people laughing and talking loudly etc. By contrast, at my age my parents and their friends all had houses and lived in Hampstead/Islington/similar so there was more space and less travel.

It is lovely to eat at someone's house and I'd love to do more home hosting.

I hate eating at other people's houses, it feels like I'm on show like a child having to sit up straight and say please and thank yous. I also hate people in my house. I find it exhausting and just want them to leave.

When I watch property shows I always find it so strange how many people want house layouts 'for entertaining'.

I'm now thinking about:
Coquille St Jacques
A fillet of beef with a red wine sauce, dauphinois and green veg
Raspberry millfieulle

or
Smoked salmon with horseradish, lime and capers with rye wafers
Leg of lamb with garlic, redcurrant, mint and red wine jus, minted new potatoes and a rocket and watercress salad
Home made profiteroles with cointreau cream and chocolate orange sauce

Roll on retirement

I cooked for people all the time and I think I only ate at someone else’s once. Then I had DC and just stopped. I’m a very good cook as well.

Well aren't you just a barrel of fun 😂

We used to have a blast doing this in our 20s/30s, with all the courses, wine and extras. Alas all those friends have dispersed (and one died 😞). We'd have port, liqueurs the lot!
I cook for my immediate family now - tonight we had homemade vegetarian roulade (bought puff pastry - I am no masterchef!) and a homemade chocolate cake. I cooked a fairly boring meal with salmon for my brother and SIL recently but made hollandaise sauce.
TBH love eating out when on holiday - I went to Italy 3 times last year. Japan this year.

We used to have people around. Nowadays, by the time I’ve cooked for one vegan, one vegetarian, one no-aioli and one no-fish in my family (broadly speaking, each have additional limitations), it’s exhausting to think of accommodating other people’s preferences and fancies too.

We have friends/family over to eat at least twice a month, sometimes more like twice a week.

We’re early 30’s in London and I don’t know anyone (even those gifted eye watering deposits) who has a dining room.

We like cooking - but everyone sits on assorted chairs round our too small table in our kitchen. We can host 8 at a push - but it’s not an elegant dining experience.

I think COVID put a dent in it, but also, a lot of my friends are on fairly restrictive diets which is fine for just a couple of people but tricky when the food has to be vegan, nut-free, not ultra-processed, low-carb, suitable for diabetics, gluten-free, without anything fermented, low-FODMAP and without citrus.

We still have people round but as per PP it tends to be for BBQ or a roast, rather than formal sit down dinners (other than Xmas and Easter when we do 3 courses plus cheese!) because these are meals most people will eat, that are easy to adapt to dietary requirements and that don’t take too much effort to clean up afterwards. They can also be done on a budget, whereas the last time we made a 3 course meal with beef Wellington for 8 people it cost well in excess of £200…

I'd prefer to meet friends for a coffee and a walk. I think we all feel that it's a lot of effort catering for people and in our 50s nobody wants to eat 3, or even 2 course meals anymore. We've spent years cooking for our families and prefer our social time to be a bit more relaxed.

Me too! Hate cooking, hate eating out or at other people's houses. Quite happy with toast for dinner. On the rare occasions that I do have people round, I serve pizza which is basically just fancy toast.