Husband overheard me

[starship92]

Basically my husband was annoyed with me this morning because he was "disappointed" in my fathers day effort.

For context - due to personal issues i was unable to get to the shops for a card this whole week so was going today as soon as they opened. (He was aware of this) but i had ordered him a personalised gift (which i thought was really nice) from the kids which was here for his waking this morning.

He was in a sulk all morning and it made me (probably irrationally) angry because i had tried my best considering the circumstances (i had also made his favourite meal last night as a fathers day celebration).

He stormed out earlier and came back as he has forgot something, and he overheard me complaining on the phone to my sister about him.

He has come down on me like a tonne of bricks over this. Says he doesnt want our personal life or our problems discussed with anyone. Hes actually now saying he doesn't trust me and this could potentially be the end of our marriage.

Am I being unreasonable for thinking im within my rights to confide in my sister about this argument? Is it really that big a deal? Granted i definitely was "ranting" when he overheard...but still?

Moonpig could have saved your marriage but it honestly doesn't sound like one worth saving.

That’s fine. That’s you. But it’s not what a lot of others on here would feel. And that’s fine too.

While it’s never nice to overhear someone talk about you, it’s normal for most people to confide in other people. I can imagine a similar conversation with my own sister. So YANBU about that.

In relation to the card - I don’t believe you didn’t have time all eeek to run in to a shop. Even a local co op or similar. However, given what else you arranged, this would bother me in the slightest.

Why not order one on Moonpig?? You can get pretty quick delivery…

Sorry but I think it’s pretty inexcusable these days to say you couldn’t get to the shops. Or put a bit more effort into a home-made one. And then you slagged him off 🤣

I really really really dislike when men or women run back to their family of origin telling tales about their partners

So what you are saying is people shouldn't vent their frustrations.
I actually think its good that you can.

I wouldn't say anything confidential about dh but it's good to get minor moans off your chest. When I've done this my friend or sister has sometimes offered me a different perspective that I hadn't seen so venting to a third person can be beneficial and it can often stop an argument between the two of you escalating.

I would be keen to know the answer to this too

Am I correct - you bought him a gift from the kids and had them give him a nice wakeup but because he also does not have a card he is throwing a strop.

Sounds like he wants to pick an argument.

How long between him storming off and coming back?

You say you respect him but you don't respect his wishes for you not to be talking about arguments outside the marriage.

Also, if he had stormed out and then come back within a really short period of time, it looks like as soon as he left, you jumped on a call to tell your sister despite knowing his feelings about it.

Of course you have the right to talk to whoever you want about your marriage but as others have said, you are then painting a picture to others based on snippets.

You say his reaction is extreme but it's like the marriage that ended over not putting the glass in the dishwasher. Is it really a build up him asking you repeatedly not to do something and you repeatedly thinking that you can just do it anyway?

I think it doesn't matter if you feel you're right of even get a 50/50 spilt on here (where again it's a snippet), it's more about what you both want as a result. You have personal issues and have said that you were irrationally angry, he clearly shouldn't be storming out and sulking. You both sound like you need to take a breath. If he really wants out, how does that actually make you feel?

There WAS a card made by one of the children.

(And a personalised present, and his favourite meal made for him).

Apparently he doesn't value the card made by his child though. They were always my favourite.

He stormed out because he only got a dinner and a present and no card? That is just odd behavior from a man. Men usually think cards are silly and useless.

Does he make a habit of ruining holidays and birthdays?

I’d be pissed off if I didn’t have a Mother’s Day card and would be more annoyed if DH was bitching about me being upset to his family as opposed to just apologising for being shit and trying to make up for it.

It's all in the thread.

He ordered her a present - but late, so she didn't get it on Mother's Day...

I find this controlling and if you don’t speak/confide in people you would end up cracking up with this behaviour of his.

reverse it and give him the cold shoulder

Even if you had a card made by your child, a personalised gift, AND your favourite meal made for you? Because that's what he got - and kicked off because there was no shop bought card.

You'd really think the above was "shit" and warranted an apology? Wow.

She is nicer than me.
I would definitely throw that in his face.

She also said that he absolutely spolied her. How we pick and chose to fit our narrative...

He sounds very controlling. It’s unfortunate he overheard you bitching about him but it sounds like you have something to bitch about.

Take your husband up on the offer of divorce and start again, what a piece of work!

Op has already said that she was spoiled by him on mothers day

It’s posts like these I’m glad I’m single. Sorry OP. Hope he gets over it soon

Now I’ve heard it all…. Give your head a wobble @outerspacepotato

He hugely overreacted. Twat.

And I think anyone should be able to talk to their friends or family about relationship problems. Otherwise, abuse can fester.

Moonpig.com bookmark it

I have NEVER done any thing for my husband for Fathers Day, nor he for me for MOTHERS day.

You have just reminded me to call my own Dad though... just did he, didn't give two hoots I had forgotten.