People who ring repeatedly when you don’t answer

[Chocolatesplease]

Aibu to think that people who ring you over and over again when you don’t answer are rude, attention seeking and a bit weird? Unless of course it’s an emergency.

If I don’t answer the first call, what makes them think I’m going to answer the 2nd 3rd or 10th time?

Sometimes I’m having a shower or my phone is in another room on charge and I’ll go to it and there’ll be 20 missed calls. Or I might be at work. Any number of reasons why I can’t answer.

It’s a certain few people who do this.

Mobile phones have missed call notifications, so it’s obvious that someone will ring back when they can.

Ah ok if you’ve text in between I’d of messaged back. It’s those that ring ring ring and ring but seem to never send a text. I also say it can’t be important as they haven’t sent a message or left a message.

I'd be setting those people on ringtone:silent.

Yeah i have no issue with people not wanting to talk to me. I just need to know their breathing which can be done with a message or I start spiralling

If it's an emergency you'd expect someone to leave a message and send a text if they ring and you don't answer.

My mum's a bugger for ringing relentlessly. And if you don't answer she'll ring round everyone asking if they've heard from you.

When she rings me and I can't answer I text her and say I'm busy. If it's an emergency, ring me back now, if not then I'll ring you tonight when I'm free to chat.

I don’t know though, before mobile phones if you were out you weren’t contactable and people would ring in evenings after 1800 as it was cheaper

why do we need to be in contact 24/7 these days

I think it is rude to keep pestering people. Take the hint if they don’t answer or send a text

I don't often ring people but if I do and don't get an answer then I would leave a message - even if it's to say it's not important and I'll try again later.
If someone calls me I'll answer if I can but it's not always possible - in school, at the theatre or cinema etc. If it's a number I recognise I'll ring back or message when I can. If it's an unknown number I won't call back unless they've left a message. That's what voicemail is for.

I also grew up with a landline and calls used to be thought through, you’d only call before it got too late at night, after dinner time and when you knew people were likely to be in and available. You’d not let it ring too long to avoid being annoying and you definitely wouldn’t ring over and over and over again until someone answered.

It’s like some people expect others to be instantaneously available and attentive to their needs at all hours and at any given moment now. That just isn’t realistic or wanted, I work full time so I am not available to chat on the phone during work hours. I have a child so after work I’m sorting out dinner, making way to or from various clubs or taking one of her friends home, or doing the food shop. By the time I’m done for the day sometimes I just want to sit quietly and decompress. If you ring me and I don’t answer it’s because I’m not available. If you have something urgent then leave a voicemail or send a text.

Really?
So no matter what you are doing, who you are with, what's happening, you must drop everything and answer your phone?

Hang on with that speculum nurse, just got to grab this...
Hold on boss, hang on important client, I realise this is a final negotiation for a massive contract but my pal is ringing.

Give over.

It is not always possible or appropriate to answer your phone.

Nothing rude about it.

There are many times when the horribly rude thing to do would be to answer your phone.

Hold on vicar, don't drop him down yet, just got to take this call..

My mom does this. Would call several times a day, for nothing important. I got rid of the landline as she woul call early on a weekend when we were trying to have a bit of a lie in or when the kids were younger she favoured weekday evenings. Guaranteed to wake them up. In the last few months I have disabled voicemail as she would leave one every single time. Now I have told her I will speak to her once a day only, anything else can wait till the next day..I call her on my way home and reject her subsequent calls. I have another sibling but she isn't as bad with him. I have told her repeatedly if there is an emergency she will be stuffed as she can't rein the number of calls in hence the rules. I felt guilty initially but then pissed off because it was necessary to do this as she just refused to listen!

Absolutely this. I hate it when people do this. It’s like the boy who cried wolf as well. One day there will be an actual emergency and you won’t answer.

I hate it when people, anyone, believes they are entitled to constant access to me

Totally agree!! The entitlement of some people baffles me!
Its so self-centred to expect people to answer your their phone the minute they call!

I sometimes don’t answer because I just don’t want to talk to someone. Haven’t always got the headspace to listen to what will probably be half an hour of moaning

I can’t stand it either, wth is wrong with them?
Of course it’s 100% acceptable in an emergency but otherwise no way.
It’s soooo annoying when youx’re in the middle of doing something and an inconsiderate idiot is calling non stop. Makes me want to answer and say all the rude words I know.

The phone ringing is a request to speak not an order

and since the person can’t see what the other is up to , of course it’s ok to ignore a ringing phone , anything else is incredibly rude of the caller

I second you, she is a bint!

I hate everyone on this website except you. I like you.

This. I get my train tickets on my phone. Hold on train manager. I really need to take this phone call.

My MIL used to do this every single night at the time she knew I was doing the kids' bath/bedtime routine, and DH usually wasn't home by then.

If I let the call go to answerphone (in the early days when we had a landline), she wouldn't leave a message, just put the phone down and ring again 2 minutes later. And then do that again and again and again until one of us answered. When one of us finally returned the call we'd explain every single time that I had been bathing or putting the kids to bed, as I did every night at roughly the same time, but she'd do the same thing the next night at the same time.

More than once she'd not put the phone down when the voicemail came on and you could hear her saying to FIL in the background "They've got that bloody answerphone on again - why do they never pick up?"

The thing is, DH would phone her back when he got home, and it would be the same questions every night "How are the kids? Have you had your dinner yet? What are you having? How was work?" Nothing earth-shattering. In the end I turned the ringer off on the phone upstairs and claim I hadn't heard it - left DH to deal with the banal questions.

I love her dearly, but this nearly drove me mad for several years.

May I Third you? A glorious riposte, I salute you

It’s really not always possible to do this, especially at work.

Yes it's weird

Or driving. Some on here would prefer you risked lives by answering their summons 🙄

This drives me nuts, especially if it’s a (new) customer.
I run a business. If I don’t answer you can assume I’m dealing with another client elsewhere. I WILL get back to you, but it might take a day or two, I have this as a notice on my voicemail.
Usually it’s obnoxious people who don’t realise the signs on my website and Facebook and insta are correct and I’m not taking on any clients until the new year. And tell me “it’s only a quick 5 minute job” when what they actually want is over an hour at school pick up because “it’s the best time for me!”

If you’re in the shower and they ring 10 times during that shower how is that rude?

If someone interrupted you mid conversation you would just tell them - that’s rude and then blank them

yet somehow if someone phones it becomes your responsibility to accept or at least reassure them you will get back to them as soon as possible?

I think it’s awful unless it is an emergency.