People who ring repeatedly when you don’t answer

[Chocolatesplease]

Aibu to think that people who ring you over and over again when you don’t answer are rude, attention seeking and a bit weird? Unless of course it’s an emergency.

If I don’t answer the first call, what makes them think I’m going to answer the 2nd 3rd or 10th time?

Sometimes I’m having a shower or my phone is in another room on charge and I’ll go to it and there’ll be 20 missed calls. Or I might be at work. Any number of reasons why I can’t answer.

It’s a certain few people who do this.

Mobile phones have missed call notifications, so it’s obvious that someone will ring back when they can.

My annoyance is the bloody door, people knocking and knocking and if I do not answer, then start banging on the fucking window! so rude, gives me the rage, most times its for next door too

I do not answer the door in the dark when I have just come out of the shower

My boss does this. She'll ring repeatedly if I don't pick up and will send a shitty email after about three or four attempts saying "why aren't you working?". She knows perfectly well that I'm often on back to back Zoom/Teams calls which I physically can't get off, because she is as well.

It's just a bullshit power play. She needs reassuring of the fact that when she says "jump" people will say "how high?".

Hate this. My mum is one for this, she isn't old - just turned 60, so not sure it is age in her case.

I have told her after 6pm doesn't work to chat because it's dinner, bath, feed baby, bed (co-sleep). She doesn't work much and I'm a SAHM so it's not like she needs to call in the evening. But she keeps ringing repeatedly right when I'm trying to get baby down.

My father is unwell, so when I get 3 or 4 calls in a row I do end up answering, just in case it's an emergency. But this generally wakes baby and it NEVER is important.

When I remind her to only call before 6pm, or message if she needs an immediate answer, she just says she forgot. It is infuriating to then have to re-settle a grumpy baby.

I imagine it is people who think their time is more important than yours or that you exist for their convenience.

In short, annoying entitled people who you probably don't want to talk to anyway.

Anyone doing that more than once to me, unless an emergency will get their calls screened or blocked.

They'll be making a LOT of calls if they try that with me. My phone hasn't been off silent since about 2015.

I do this but it's because my mum is deaf (she's the only person I call). If she doesn't answer it's because she didn't hear it as she's usually glued to the thing.

She has the phone set up so she can decline a call and send a text with a single click and I won't call back if I get one of those. So I know if I don't get an answer it's not just because she is busy.

The text thing has three presets and she has "I'm busy and I'll call you back in 5 mins / 1 hour / this evening" as the options so I know roughly how long it'll be. If you are frequently too busy for calls it might be worth seeing if your phone has this option - it's way less frustrating than declining call after call or sitting there letting it ring out.

Yabu i do this i can't help it, its an anxiety thing if people don't answer their phones i think their dead and if I'd rang 20 times and you haven't answered I'd be turning up at your house. If someone doesn't want to speak to me that's fine but a quick msg to say im busy is fine then il leave you alone

That’s just weird, who does that

I have PTSD in part from a home break in when I lived alone at 19. Face appeared at the window and started banging on my windows. My own mum (after this) could not get a grip on why knocking on my window was so offensive to me. If I’ve not responded to the doorbell or the chap on the door leave the bloody window alone! In my opinion there’s nothing more rude and invasive than looking in someone’s windows like that. Accept I’m sensitive to it but I will defend this position with all my might. The door is for knocking on. If there’s no answer then off you fuck

Gosh, aren't you all so lucky that none of you receive regular phone calls from hospitals and other healthcare providers, often from withheld numbers.

And it is such a mumsnet obsession about finding phone calls rude. I don't find it rude at all if someone rings me.

I grew up with landline phonecalls and letters. When I was a teenager the only way to contact someone quickly was by phone call or telegram.

I think most of you need to unclench.

Oh, I can take phone calls while using my phone as a satnav.

OP, if these repetitive calls are always the same people, then I don’t really blame you.

The folk who do it are being fools to themselves, coz you now feel it’s like “the boy who cried wolf”.

So if ever they constantly call you for a GENUINE emergency/reason, it’s on them if you take little notice, as experience has taught you, it’ll only be the usual unimportant drivel.

it’s hard tho, coz knowing me, I’d be somewhat torn between answer and ignoring… my luck dictates that the moment I do or I don’t, could mean real trouble to either the caller or to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

Id like to believe tho, that anyone with an ounce of noddle, would text you and say “hey op, please pick up, I’m in a right pickle”… or similar.

Good luck in how to resolve, hopefully another pp will give you a brilliant idea 🤣

This is what mute is for.

I’ve blocked people before for doing this. Leave a voicemail about what you need to say if it’s important and I can’t answer.

OK… I was in a conference centre that had no
mobile phone coverage. When I emerged I had no end of missed calls from my Mum’s number, plus a few missed calls from a couple of numbers I didn’t recognise. She didn’t leave a message. I called back and got no answer. I then called the random numbers, one was from the medical alert people telling me she had been taken to hospital, and the other was from the hospital saying she had been admitted. She had had a stroke and couldn’t speak. Some of the calls were from her but some were also from the paramedics. So in this situation, I wish I had managed to get to the phone sooner. She died a few weeks later.

They can get in the sea along with people that text

“Hellooooo”

“???”

Morons.

Yes I hate this. Either I can’t answer or don’t want to. Ringing me constantly back to back for 20 minutes won’t make me change my mind or reason.

Also when I hit the sorry I cannot take your call right now please leave a message text. They then ring me again. Or text saying ring me. Nope not happening if you don’t tell me why.

I don't do it but my mum takes her phone to the toilet. I find her behaviour odd.

I disagree.

Of course you can help it.

I genuinely can't its a fear that turns into an obsession iv spoke about in therapy. It's like my brain can't differentiate between what's an emergency and what isn't. Luckily everyone in my life is use to it so will just send a quick msg to say their alive

What happens if they ignore the door? Because I would if you’ve not gotten the hint at ignoring your call 20 times.

Because if you’ve not bothered to text me to say please ring me asap it’s an emergency XYZ has happened I’ll assume you’re just bored and being annoying. Or maybe I’ve ghosted you 😬

I know, it is really odd

I will have message multiple times between calls saying are you alive please text me your OK. If they didn't answer the door I'd break in , speak to neighbours, call the police. Like I say luckily everyone knows how much I struggle with this so they always reply quick to me

This absolute rudeness of not answering your phone is contemptible. Same with not answering the door.