To be furious about inevitable menopause

[Fragmentedbrain]

I don't have it yet, 43, feel on top of the flipping world professionally and emotionally (that hollow dragging anxiety of youth is all gone).

But I know that any bloody moment now the brain fog and anxiety and insomnia and prolapse will come for me and ruin it.

I'm so damn angry.

Also, does anyone know if I could just start taking the contraceptive pill now and maybe stay on it for a decade and come out the other side without any of the symptoms?

Menopause doesn't actually cause your brains to fall out your arse 😂

This is the most uplifting thing I've ever read on here. Thank you!

I couldn’t wait for my meno, not that periods were ever a problem for me. But fucking hell, I’d only ever wish it on my worst enemy. I don’t think I’ve ever been the same since.

I think mortality is reassuring.

My advice. Get mirena fitted - mines been fab then gel or estrogen patches.
You don't have to suffer with symptoms.

Hmmmm yes you certainly sound very chill and aspirational 😳

My advice would be to do anything you can to delay menopause. I was put into an early chemical menopause after being diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer aged 39. It’s truly awful - the side effects (some from the forced menopause some from my ongoing treatment) are worse than chemo was, and I was on that for almost 3 years in the end! There are days when I feel 80.

So yes, delay it if you can, or take HRT (another thing that will never be available to me), to combat the symptoms.

OP you’re worrying about something that may never happen. Not every woman has a bad menopause experience so there’s a good chance you might get lucky and sail through it.
If you want to prepare I would try and get into healthy lifestyle habits now. The usual advice of healthy diet, exercise and low alcohol intake. Good luck x

Being on the pill didn’t stop my menopause symptoms, so don’t take it just for that reason

I'm still entitled to be intellectually angry that my brain and professional standing and peaceful relationships will all be taken away from me for no reason

Honestly this is wild. If this is what you genuinely believe you need to get some help for your mental health.

I'd suggest you wait and be angry if it happens. In the meantime, you might want to have a think about the consequences of going round saying that older women lose their mental capacity and ability to succeed professionally. Because honestly the last thing we need are any more stereotypes about our supposed inferiority in the workplace.

It makes no more sense to be angry about menopause than it does about dying-both are inevitable, and on their timetable not yours.
Nor is it inevitable you will get brain fog, anxiety and insomnia- many do, but many get away with a few hot flushes, go on HRT and feel even more on top of the world.
No part of life is fair- you have to roll with it.

So true. This is pretty much the same for me.

Apart from the hormonal headaches and the odd warm glow I managed to escape all the other symptoms.

But I know that any bloody moment now the brain fog and anxiety and insomnia and prolapse will come for me and ruin it.
I'm still entitled to be intellectually angry that my brain and professional standing and peaceful relationships will all be taken away from me for no reason.

@Fragmentedbrain not necessarily. Pplease don't assume that it is the same for everyone, and stop catastrophising.

Oh and this is another thing. Every single emotion, physical sensation or bloody food preference is now met with "oh that will be peri!"

And this is what gives us women a bad name. I wish they would bloody well stop blaming everything on their homones.

I’m 46 and I don’t give it a second thought. Every other bugger does though, it’s all you ever hear about.

Yes, it's getting boring now.

Agree, because hormones have been HELLISH.
I was in the big job - had minor brain fog, nothing significant (as noted 8 weeks before the following happened...)
Flashed, flushed and flooded. I worked in a healthcare related role (back office). "Hoped" my employers would understand. They didn't. 15 months later, still can't get a job (they want 35 year olds to mould).
Sorry, that was - and is - negative.
On the positive, I give very few fucks, and am now pursuing my passions. Sadly it pays pence rather than pounds

You know some people don’t even notice it right? You might be totally fine and have no issues.

I find this post interesting. To my mind, the poster is saying "just fucking get on with it". And that is not a bad thing...
I was able to "get on with it". Had a couple of brain glitches which the client (female 45) did not like. I then, in person, had a totally debilitating and embarrassing moment where I flooded in a meeting. Black trousers all the way but the stains were something else.
I continued for a couple of months until "everyone" (ie people my age) were "embarrassed". We advocated for 20+ year olds with gynae issues such as endometriosis - this was deemed acceptable, menopause was not.
And the comment "this is what gives women a bad name" - do you live in the 1980s and before?

I am absolutely not saying "just get on with it" I have friends who are having a terrible time so I know it isn't the same for everyone.

And becasue I know it isn't the same for everyone it also means that there are a lot of women who manage to get through it without the anxiety, brain fog, depression, anger etc etc etc.

I don't know anyone who didn't get hot flushes though. Even I got them, but they were warm glows rather than hot flushes.

The answer is simple! Go on HRT. I divorced at 49 and had no time for the menopause. I was proscribed HRT and it was a game changer. I have had a wonderful time, plenty of energy and zest for life. If you still suffer from brain fog, it is easily cured with a few squirts of testosterone every week. Good luck!

I think you’re looking for trouble which might never come.

When I was your age, menopause hadn’t even entered my head! I was in my physical prime, and in “trying for a child” phase (had twins at 47).

I think I went through menopause while I was pregnant - periods never came back after I gave birth. I had no symptoms at all.
I’m now 53 and on HRT, but that’s preventative for bone/brain/heart etc health. I’m in a “big” job, and no brain fog etc and not remotely held back by meno.

Just assume you will not be impacted by menopause, and then if you are, deal with it in your 50s.

I had to have full hysterectomy at 30 im now 39 and going through menopause symptoms I ditched HRT as it made me feel shite ive instead had the ones from boots and taking adult vitamins healthy diet etc and feeling alot better

What's the point in being furious and angry? It's a perfectly normal part of growing older that women have always gone through. It's just part of the cycle of life.

(61, had a natural menopause, no HRT)

Me too, I was warm in the night and had a few hot flushes after warm meals but they were short lived and not debilitating. The worst part for me was about six months of flooding every few weeks.

I found puberty far more distressing decades earlier than I did the menopause. Worked full time throughout.

Nonsense I've been through menopause and don't have any brain fog. Nor anxiety. Did have a few hot flashes after having my womb and ovaries removed due to cervical cancer but I was mostly through it by then anyway.

Worst thing is the dry skin so costs me a fortune in decent moisturizer

Cant have her anyway as risk of cancer recurring is higher if I do apparently

Have a hysterectomy instead. It prevents prolapse and quite good at removing cancer also if that's what you think would be preferable

Better than the alternative?

Why do you assume you will have all those things OP. From the age of 55 I got a bit hot at night sometimes and felt that I had a very short slightly befuddled phase of brain fog but that's all.