To be furious about inevitable menopause

[Fragmentedbrain]

I don't have it yet, 43, feel on top of the flipping world professionally and emotionally (that hollow dragging anxiety of youth is all gone).

But I know that any bloody moment now the brain fog and anxiety and insomnia and prolapse will come for me and ruin it.

I'm so damn angry.

Also, does anyone know if I could just start taking the contraceptive pill now and maybe stay on it for a decade and come out the other side without any of the symptoms?

The only change I had was post menopause and I've changed from a lark to a night owl.

Ooh! I've gone completely the other way!

are you reading too much online? Loads of women are fine. But no one uses the internet to say "I'm fine".

you might be fine.

It’s still a small proportion and if you’re asymptomatic it’s basically the same as not having it.

Yes. I am mostly fine. Feel the heat a bit. Sometimes wake up at 4 am.
Otherwise, pretty ok.

I am 53 and havent seen my GP in ages. Where are you getting this ageist crap about being wedded to your GP?

One in every ten women does not seem small to me, but I guess we all see things differently.

You said 50% initially, it’s very small compared with that.

That was just factual information. I was replying to someone asking why menopause could cause a prolapse.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9629641/

It wasn’t factual information. I’d take the Royal College over some figure from the US where gynaecologists have a vested interest in over diagnosis.

I was very lucky and had no symptoms at all (first time round). I'm now on anastrazole as part of my cancer treatment so I'm undergoing a second menopause.... LOADS of symptoms this time round and I can't take HRT. 😭.

Hopefully you will be like me and not have any symptoms but, if not, go with HRT if you can.

I didn’t have any bad symptoms of menopause, only a few not very hot flushes. My periods just stopped, after being regular and fairly light for many years. That was the only sign that I was in menopause. I hadn’t had any signs of perimenopause before that.

The one big difference I noticed, years later, was that any weight I put on now stays superglued to my body, no matter how carefully I eat!

Edited to add: I hadn’t used hormonal contraception since my 20s and didn’t use HRT as I had no symptoms.

Can someone explain the prolapse thing? In what way is this connected to menopause or ageing? Not being snide, genuinely not sure about this.

I anticipated it with dread, as you are doing, but when it happened I barely noticed it!

I think if you stay fit & healthy you maximise your chances of experiencing it with milder symptoms

Here you go.

https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/pelvic-organ-prolapse/

I agree, I was only late 30s when people started telling me my insomnia and being a hot sleeper were because of the menopause! Actually my insomnia was linked to a friend dying and having a newborn (and it turns out I can't sleep in any synthetic fibres) but it's the first thing people jump on!

I got pregnant again at 39 so think they were wrong 😛

The hot flushes were intolerable for me, but HRT sorted that. I didn't have brain fog or increased anxiety. In fact I think I got even more shit hot at my job during and post menopause (I'm retired now). I also stopped mostly caring about other people's opinions of me.

I have no idea. One of the known symptoms of menopause is what is sometimes called vaginal atrophy, sometimes called vaginal dryness, sometimes called genito-urinary syndrome of menopause. I have it - it started as itchiness, dryness, being very uncomfortable after/during sex, repeated UTIs, and a constant low level abdominal pain. All caused by lack of estrogen. The thing is though, it is incredibly easy to treat with creams or pessary which you use twice a week. My genito-urinary system is now fit and healthy and I have no issues.

It also doesn't mean I'm welded to my GP. Yes I needed an initial appointment to diagnose and yes she wanted to examine me. But that was almost 2 years ago and I just request the Estriol cream on repeat every 3 months.

Did you actually read the article? Up to 50% of women is the most common figure cited in articles from institutes all over the world. A quick Google would show you this.

It doesn't seem like you really read your own source either.

This is what your source says

Prevalence rates of POP have been reported at 1–65% globally [2]. There is a dearth of prevalence data for POP and most existing prevalence data is based on symptoms rather than physical examination [2]. When defined by symptoms, POP has a prevalence rate of 3–6%, and up to 50% when based upon vaginal examination [3].

Well your going to reach that stage wether you like it or not.
Hopefully you'll be one of those who sales through it..loads of ladies do.
Stop wasting your time being angry

Yes, I know. I've read my source. 50% of women will have a prolapse at some point, but that doesn't mean they're symptomatic.

I have an asymptomatic prolapse and I feel it's important to make people aware of how common it is. It greatly affects my mental health, but not my physical so far.

If you’re ‘so damn angry’ about something you say you don’t have yet then I I feel sorry for you.

Life is hard enough being angry about the things which do affect us without pre-empting things that might be pretty ok.

And who are you angry at?

HRT can be wonderful for many women.
Enjoy feeling at the top of your game and try not to spoil it by looking for problems.

Dear God.

@Fragmentedbraini retrained for a new professional
career and started a masters when I was older than you are now. Menopause has been harder for me than some of the stories here, but honestly I’d have started HRT earlier if I had realised I could. On HRT, it’s manageable enough for me to parent teenagers and run my own successful business.
I do get your anger. It’s so unfair that we have to go through it, but sadly no choice. My experience is that generally 1/3 of women sail through, 1/3 notice but it’s manageable, and 1/3 have a tough time. 🤞🏻for you you aren’t in the last group.