To be furious about inevitable menopause

[Fragmentedbrain]

I don't have it yet, 43, feel on top of the flipping world professionally and emotionally (that hollow dragging anxiety of youth is all gone).

But I know that any bloody moment now the brain fog and anxiety and insomnia and prolapse will come for me and ruin it.

I'm so damn angry.

Also, does anyone know if I could just start taking the contraceptive pill now and maybe stay on it for a decade and come out the other side without any of the symptoms?

Where have you heard that most women end up with prolapse?

Gaaaaaaaaaa

You need to step away from MN. I'm amazed and depressed on a daily basis reading about the catastrophic horrors of menopause on here (ditto the horrors of childbirth and the 4th trimester, but that's for another thread). It's a different planet to the one I and my friends live on.

Menopause is one of the best things that's ever happened to me - no more periods, no more PMS, no more heavy, sore boobs. Another bonus is I no longer take any crap, particularly from men. and My symptoms weren't severe - a period of hot flushes and some mild insomnia but nothing dramatic. Never any memory/anxiety issues. I'm on HRT patches and feel great in my 60s! I have many friends in their 60s and I can't think of one who had a rough time of it.

This. You are catastrophising , plenty of women I know get little or no symptoms at all !
I had a. Mirena coil for 10-15 years, no periods, went through the menopause with no symptoms at all .

I've literally never heard of any woman ending up with a prolapse after menopause and I know a fair few women who are quite happy to discuss menopause symptoms at length.

I haven't even started yet - my periods are like clockwork. More's the pity...

"I'm still entitled to be intellectually angry that my brain and professional standing and peaceful relationships will all be taken away from me for no reason."

What the hell?! Where are you getting this shit? I don't know any women who have lost these things as a result of menopause.

I see the NHS says only 40%

https://mft.nhs.uk/2024/01/12/thousands-of-women-could-benefit-from-self-management-of-pelvic-organ-prolapse-research-in-manchester/

I had read it was about 80% by the time you get to old age but can't find the source now

First I've heard of it! Just googled and it suggested up to one third of women will experience prolapse at some point in their lifetime. Which is by no means "most". It also states only 10-20% will actually require medical intervention. So I don't think you need to be stocking up on incontinence pads quite yet unless you are actually experiencing symptoms.

I'm slightly older than you and don't have kids either. Still menstruating regularly. Haven't exactly LOVED menstruating so not devastated at the thought of it ending. However, I'm glad I had functioning ovaries so I wasn't deprived of the choice to have or not have children. Would you really have preferred to have no choice on the matter?

I’m not sure what that means.

I never wanted children and I can't relate to the idea of wanting to so I would have swapped the experience of female hormones for the ability to have kids for sure.

What ! I know literally not one women in a school full of women who have had this problem!

I'm almost 56 and happy to report that neither by brain or pelvic organs have fallen out.

Neither my grandmother, mother, sisters, sister in law or myself nor old friends have ever suffered with brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, prolapse or any other ailments that some MAY suffer during g the menopause.

Many of us have no problems, symptoms oe ailments whatsoever.

I hope you’re one of us.

But the night is still young!

Surely prolapse is much more likely to be women who have birthed children? If you’re worried about it then download the Squeezy app and start doing pelvic floor exercises. Probably a good thing to start doing around this age anyway.

Why on earth are you furious, OP?
Not everyone has the symptoms you list, so that's your first mistake.
Plus, menopause means freedom - no more periods! Just makes life so much simpler. Honestly, it us just such a blessing.

I sadly had to wait until I was 56, but I was so happy and relieved when I realised that the time had finally come.
You can choose how you approach this - if you maintain a positive attitude, you will have a much better experience.
And don't believe all the relentless negativity online!

Not all women get menopause symptoms.

Firstly you don’t know if you will have any symptoms at all - many dont

second you can increase the changes that you don’t have symptoms by making sure you eat well, area healthy weight and exercise

if you do have symptoms ( or if it starts before you ard 50) , try HRT

if all that fails then you can come and moan

Mind you - if you are actually furious - perhaps that’s your first symptom ?

I haven't seen a GP for about 20 years. It's not compulsory to see a doctor about menopause. Just stop catastrophising, and live your life.

I have had no brain fog or prolapse - insomnia though

You might have a point. I went on the 3 yr implant implant, I am now through menopause, I have pains, I never had hot sweats, I never had any of the symptoms you describe - i might not have anyway, but when I went to my gynae appointment for HRT she only gave me estrogen as the progesterone was covered by the implant.

I'm 57 and I've been through it, but had no symptoms really. I think being on the mirena coil for ten years helped. I just carried on having no periods, no hot flushes etc. It's not necessarily terrible for everyone.

I think these articles etc are a lot to blame. I’m late 30s and my social media is full of crap about Peri menopause. I said it to my mother and she was like “what’s peri menopause. Back in my day it was just menopause and that was it”
it’s everywhere now and part of it is trying to flog products at women I think.

They're not wrong. About 50% of women will experience a prolapse in their lifetime.