Holiday offer revoked

[Singineletricdreams]

I am in the midst of a divorce from DH, which on the most part is fairly civil.

Although we don’t have any children together, I have 2 children from my previous marriage, and every summer we would go to the US and visit DH’s family. DH’s extended family would be there and it’s a lovely relaxing time, and there are lots of cousins etc for my kids to socialise with. They own several holiday homes in the US, and we would have our own house for 3-4 weeks.

Last week, I received a short WhatsApp message from his sister telling me they’ll miss not having the kids visit. This came as a surprise as I was expecting to go. Although DH and I are seperating, I don’t see why his family would want to cut of contact . I phoned DH to explain that we still planned to visit but was politely told not to come.

AIBU to think this is shitty behaviour?

They may not have been aware that OP wished to continue going. It might have come as a bit of a surprise to the family and ExDH. TBH it wouldn't occur to me that an expartner in a family would even consider it. Certainly never heard of it happening.

I bet the ex hadn't thought for a minute she would assume she was going until she rang

Ops exs family are not related to her children. Her children will never see them again. Op is allowed to feel disappointed but she can't expect anything more from his family.

Please remember the holiday offer wasn't revoked- you assumed unreasonably that it would stay open even though you are divorced.
It's unfortunate for your kids, but it's best they understand what happens when a couple divorces-all monetary and other resources stop, if they are not court mandated, no exceptions- I have never heard of a case where this holiday offer would continue to be open.

Oh I don't disagree, it's just the kids that might not understand.

Having read your update and seen that he is the only father figure they have then I think he should have offered to take them especially if you've been together for years and until now the "step" part has been an irrelvance and and he has been a father to them.
Would you let him take the DC without you? Would they want to go.
I think its completely natural you wouldn't go, that's part of the divorce but it will be devastating for DC if the only father they know disappears from their lives.
I think you need to really talk to him about the relationship with the DC going forward, as a step dad I believe he would have no rights to see them and you would have no rights to child maintenance but for the kids sake I hope you can come to an amicable arrangement and if they are close their relationship will continue .