Holiday offer revoked

[Singineletricdreams]

I am in the midst of a divorce from DH, which on the most part is fairly civil.

Although we don’t have any children together, I have 2 children from my previous marriage, and every summer we would go to the US and visit DH’s family. DH’s extended family would be there and it’s a lovely relaxing time, and there are lots of cousins etc for my kids to socialise with. They own several holiday homes in the US, and we would have our own house for 3-4 weeks.

Last week, I received a short WhatsApp message from his sister telling me they’ll miss not having the kids visit. This came as a surprise as I was expecting to go. Although DH and I are seperating, I don’t see why his family would want to cut of contact . I phoned DH to explain that we still planned to visit but was politely told not to come.

AIBU to think this is shitty behaviour?

If you like the perks associated with the marriage, you should have stayed in it.

Sorry but this is what happens. You split up, you lose the family benefits.

They're not his kids so...

What made you think that you would carry on getting a free holiday in when they aren’t your family and aren’t related to your kids your a CF to think that you would carry on getting the holiday.

Wtaf. You have absolutely no idea why OP is getting divorced . And this is not about “perks” it’s about children and people they have known as family. What is wrong with you?

You keep beating this drum, but you can’t explain why you expect OP’s ex’s family to still give her free holidays when she’s no longer married to him?

Pmsl you're nuts

I think that’s actually normal sorry.
how long were you together for? Did you DH husband adopt your children or anything? Then I would understand the children being invited but not you.

How long were unravelled both together? Did he have a good relationship with ur kids and will he still see them?
If not, its shit all round

You'd be surprised how many do think that way!

Which is all fair enough if the question was AIBU to expect soon to be exDHs parents to still send a birthday card to My DC. But the question is AIBU to expect DHs extended family who live on a different continent to host at some expense to themselves myself and my DC for a month every year even after I have divorced him? Which is entirely different.

I would have thought it would have been obvious you'd no longer be welcome after splitting up from your DH.

I don't think anyone reasonable would expect a free holiday from ex-in laws.
You marry into another family, becoming real friends with your in laws does happen, but it's pretty rare. Usually in laws put up with you because of their child being married to you- surely you realise that?

It's a shame the offer was withdrawn @Singineletricdreams but things have changed now and it was an offer previously, not a right

They can still remain in contact (cards, WhatsApp messages etc) but surely you can’t of expected to still go on a family holiday with people who are no longer family. What if your ex wanted to take someone else (maybe not this year but next or in the future).

😂 No, this is completely normal and you’re a CF…! Shame for the kids though.

You are being unreasonable. The kids have to suffer because you're divorcing. His kids or not. I hope you're happy.

What happens if and when he gets a new partner? Would you still expect to go?

Come on please, some of you.

The OP is in the wrong, but there's no need for some of these comments.

Why are pp’s being rude/ critical of OP for getting divorced??
No one has any knowledge/ insight into the context.
This thread is mad.

Jesus 😆😆😆

Surely this got to be a to be a wind up no one can be
cheeky. It’s not his kids and you’re not his wife anymore so why on gods green earth would think is would be ok to still holiday with him or his family!!

😆😆

You can’t really expect things not to change especially with holidays you need to do your own thing. Once he meets someone she will become like family it’s best to cut the ties now. Especially if it’s civil.

Not sure what's funny about asking people to be a bit more mindful and not go too far in their comments, but as you were!